Definitions by theinstigator
Hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup
When a guy is receiving a blowjob from his girl and as she attempts to deep throat him she suddenly sneezes so violently she ejects from her nose a yellowish snot trail all over his majestic manhood plus she accidentally bites his magnificent va-jay-jay impaler but it doesn’t quite draw blood.
Thanks to her allergies and missing teeth, Belinda created a hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup situation last night on her date with Homer.
Hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup by theinstigator June 3, 2016
Hungry Kitty
1)The primal urge a woman gets deep within her clitoral vortex of sensory nerves that make her feel so carnally depraved that she seeks fulfillment in shady bars and clubs, having sex with any and every guy willing to wet their willie in the lustful lass. Her hunger goes unsatisfied as no one penis can fulfill her cockticious craving. Eventually, she may even summon up enough men to be the focal point of an all-night gangbang. Hungry Kitty isn’t satisfied until she’s been pumped full of so much man milk it leaks out and pools on the bed, gently grazing the satisfied lips of the appeased pussy.
2) When yo’ bitch want some dick.
2) When yo’ bitch want some dick.
Hungry Kitty by theinstigator June 3, 2016
sheep farmer
A guy who convinces a woman to put on wool skirt and sweater and take a drive out to the country with him until they come to a nice pasture with a split-rail fence. He convinces her to put her head through the fence where he bends a board down to trap her head so she’s stuck in the fence in a bent over position. He then pulls up her skirt and fucks her from behind. After he finishes, he strips her naked and pulls out some sheers and shaves her head completely. He then tells the crying woman if she says, “baa” six times he will release her. But when she does, it turns the suck bastard on and he humps her again.
Betty: Why are you wearing a wig?
Veronica: I went out with a sheep farmer last night.
Betty: What's his name?
Veronica: Baaaa-b
Veronica: I went out with a sheep farmer last night.
Betty: What's his name?
Veronica: Baaaa-b
sheep farmer by theinstigator June 3, 2016
data transfer
Dr. Viktrov, the scientist: (unzipping his pants) Do you know, Natasia, a single sperm contains about 37.5 mb of DNA information? This means that the average male ejaculate would represent a data transfer of approximately 1,587 gb in about 3 seconds.
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
data transfer by theinstigator March 13, 2014
cunnilinquint
one who reneges (backs out) on a promise he will go down on a woman (perform
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
Helen: So how was the date with Ted?
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
cunnilinquint by theinstigator January 16, 2014
orgasmic event
When someone has an orgasm so intense it is a life-changer. In a 1999 field study of 125 people who had experienced a climax of this magnitude, 15 died of heart attacks during the orgasm, 32 swore a lifetime of devotion to their lover, 43 swore a lifetime of devotion to their hand, 23 committed suicide convinced they had experienced the ultimate thrill life could give them, 11 began touring as motivational speakers, and one decided he was going to watch the Britney Spears video "Baby, One More Time" one more time to see if he could replicate his orgasmic event. Less than a minute into the video he had a seizure and died en route to the hospital.
(from "My Date With Giganti Tongue") ...her heart skipped, she held her breathe, THERE, oh my. She felt her soul fluttering from her body in ecstasy. Her limbs shuddered and she rode the orgasm like James Bond rode the tidal wave caused by the collapsed iceberg in the one where Halle Berry wore a bikini but was trapped in that igloo by the mad Korean. Hummingbirds peppered her heart with kisses and she felt higher than Cheech and Chong at a Grateful Dead concert in a jet flying over Mount Everest. And then, as the orgasmic event slowly subsided, there was that ultimate moment of clarity when suddenly she felt she could prove Einstein's Theory of Relativity was a load of horseshit.
orgasmic event by theinstigator January 13, 2014
spasmanian devil
one who is so horny and depraved they will have sex with anything and everything they can find at the peak of their sexual lust. Though popular opinion would suggest being a spasmanian devil is a male behavior, studies have shown females to qualify as well. One study placed a male subject alone in a furnished house with hidden cameras. He was given porn and other types of erotic stimuli. The urge to have sex became totally overpowering. In the mayhem that followed he had sex with two couch pillows, three socks, a medium size cantaloupe, a vase, a cherry pie, a parka, and a paper towel cylinder before finally finishing off in the hole of a subwoofer. A female subject was placed in the same test conditions. She got so worked up she had sex with three carrots, a cucumber, an over-ripe banana, a television remote, a Coca-Cola classic bottle, the left handlebar from a 1962 Harley Panhead, and a rolling pin before climaxing with a Prell Guava Shampoo bottle (the concave design with ribbed grip to prevent dropping in the shower.)
Nobody would allow Harold to have more than two drinks at a party. They all remembered the previous summer when, at the Dorfman's pool party he got so drunk and horny he turned into a spasmanian devil and tried to fuck a life jacket, a inflatable water wing, the pool vacuum, Fred Dorfman and Shermie the cocker spaniel.
spasmanian devil by theinstigator January 1, 2014