29 definitions by theinstigator
Take her to Poletown is a way for a guy to tell someone that they are going to have sex with a certain woman. It may be mistaken by the more naïve person (even the woman herself) as a reference to the Polish district of a large city but that is just a guy's way of letting another know (wink, wink) that sometime in the near future his dick's going to be wearing her Va-jay-jay sweater.
Cal: Hey, Frankie. I got a date this Friday with Paulette.
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Dr. Viktrov, the scientist: (unzipping his pants) Do you know, Natasia, a single sperm contains about 37.5 mb of DNA information? This means that the average male ejaculate would represent a data transfer of approximately 1,587 gb in about 3 seconds.
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
by theinstigator March 4, 2014
the presence of someone, usually female, with an incredibly nice ass which renders one unable to concentrate on work, school or any other task. Though usually affecting men, it has been known to happen to women as well.
Bill: I just marked all those 32" televisions the wrong price. The boss almost fired me.
Jim: What happened?
Bill: I was paying too much attention to the booty on that new girl in the camera department.
Jim: Oh, I could stare at that all day.
Bill: I know, but it's such an asstraction.
Jim: What happened?
Bill: I was paying too much attention to the booty on that new girl in the camera department.
Jim: Oh, I could stare at that all day.
Bill: I know, but it's such an asstraction.
by theinstigator December 14, 2013
one who is so horny and depraved they will have sex with anything and everything they can find at the peak of their sexual lust. Though popular opinion would suggest being a spasmanian devil is a male behavior, studies have shown females to qualify as well. One study placed a male subject alone in a furnished house with hidden cameras. He was given porn and other types of erotic stimuli. The urge to have sex became totally overpowering. In the mayhem that followed he had sex with two couch pillows, three socks, a medium size cantaloupe, a vase, a cherry pie, a parka, and a paper towel cylinder before finally finishing off in the hole of a subwoofer. A female subject was placed in the same test conditions. She got so worked up she had sex with three carrots, a cucumber, an over-ripe banana, a television remote, a Coca-Cola classic bottle, the left handlebar from a 1962 Harley Panhead, and a rolling pin before climaxing with a Prell Guava Shampoo bottle (the concave design with ribbed grip to prevent dropping in the shower.)
Nobody would allow Harold to have more than two drinks at a party. They all remembered the previous summer when, at the Dorfman's pool party he got so drunk and horny he turned into a spasmanian devil and tried to fuck a life jacket, a inflatable water wing, the pool vacuum, Fred Dorfman and Shermie the cocker spaniel.
by theinstigator January 2, 2014
one who reneges (backs out) on a promise he will go down on a woman (perform
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
cunnilingus, eat pussy.) This type of person is highly scorned by females.
Helen: So how was the date with Ted?
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
Janice: Could have went better. He told me he'd go down on me if I gave him a
blowjob first. But as soon as I did, he- all of a sudden- had to leave.
Helen: You need to drop his ass. He's a cunnilinquint!
by theinstigator January 17, 2014
a person of below average intelligence who possesses a sixth sense about women's breasts, often knowing specific personal details about them with a single glance at a fully clothed woman. In a 1987 Michigan State University study, one tidiot savant with an IQ of 83 was tested by looking at pictures of just the faces of the 50 Miss America contestants. He was able to give the exact breast size of 96% of the women, incorrectly guessing only Miss Alaska and Miss Hawaii, but was correct on all 48 contiguous states.
Jim: Why did you bring Nate along with us to the bar? He's such a doof.
Dave: Hey, man. Be cool. You'll see.
Nate: Ooohh. Ooohh.
Dave: What is it, little buddy?
Nate: At the door, brunette, natural 36C's, left one slightly larger than the right, not much, top hat nipples, medium areolas- again, left slightly larger, but just a tad.
Jim: She's smokin'!
--the next day--
Jim: Hey, Dave. That dumbass Nate was dead on about that chick's boobs. I had sex with her last night.
Dave: Damn right, he was dead on. That's because he's a titiot savant.
Dave: Hey, man. Be cool. You'll see.
Nate: Ooohh. Ooohh.
Dave: What is it, little buddy?
Nate: At the door, brunette, natural 36C's, left one slightly larger than the right, not much, top hat nipples, medium areolas- again, left slightly larger, but just a tad.
Jim: She's smokin'!
--the next day--
Jim: Hey, Dave. That dumbass Nate was dead on about that chick's boobs. I had sex with her last night.
Dave: Damn right, he was dead on. That's because he's a titiot savant.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.
Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
by theinstigator September 16, 2016