theinstigator's definitions
A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!
Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Get the Va-jay-jay Sweatermug. When one has had so much sex that their cock is rubbed raw but they have sex again anyway and it burns like a motherfucker and just as they reach a climax and cum they yell, “Oh the humanity!”
“Sorry, Betty. We need to slow down. That last fuck was the Hindenburg for me. My dick is a disaster.”
by theinstigator June 3, 2016
Get the the Hindenburgmug. Harry: Will you look at that.
Greg: What? Mary?
Harry: Yeah. She's way too large to be wearing yoga pants. And even as big as she is, the pants look kinda baggy.
Greg: Whoa! What the hell happened?
Harry: Hah! She farted!
Greg: Her pants inflated! That's incredible!
Harry: That, my friend, was a fart parachute.
Greg: What? Mary?
Harry: Yeah. She's way too large to be wearing yoga pants. And even as big as she is, the pants look kinda baggy.
Greg: Whoa! What the hell happened?
Harry: Hah! She farted!
Greg: Her pants inflated! That's incredible!
Harry: That, my friend, was a fart parachute.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
Get the fart parachutemug. a word that is formed when a woman is wearing pants with writing across the rear and the pants get wedged into her ass crack creating an entirely different word due to the inability to see letters that are concealed by said ass crack. Generally this occurs when the pants are a bit too loose.
Gerald: What's so funny, Jack?
Jack: That big-assed girl, Jennie, has been walking around with the word "Lonk" on her ass.
Gerald: What the hell is Lonk?
Jack: All morning I'd been trying to figure that out. Then she farted and her pants inflated and then I could see it read "Love Pink."
Gerald: Oh, Lonk is a wedge word.
Jack: That big-assed girl, Jennie, has been walking around with the word "Lonk" on her ass.
Gerald: What the hell is Lonk?
Jack: All morning I'd been trying to figure that out. Then she farted and her pants inflated and then I could see it read "Love Pink."
Gerald: Oh, Lonk is a wedge word.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
Get the wedge wordmug. The kind of woman who is so wild in bed she might happily do the kinkiest thing your twisted little mind could conjure up and she would really get off on the raw sexual energy from such an act --- but...she could also wake up 3 hours later and go Lorena Bobbit on your ass and lop your dick off with a Ginsu carving knife, tossing your pathetic little wee wee in the huge pond out back to feed the snapping turtles---all because you forgot to put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste. Bipolar pussy is absolute THE BEST sex one could ever have but one has to keep in mind that the crazy IS going to come out eventually so be ready to lose anything and possibly everything. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
SCENE: KITCHEN, A NAKED MAN HAS A NAKED WOMAN BENT OVER THE OPEN DOOR OF HIS STOVE, HER HEAD IS IN THE OVEN AND HE IS FUCKING HER ASS WITH THE HANDLE OF A MEDIUM SAUCEPAN. SHE IS SCREAMING IN ECSTASY.
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
by theinstigator October 1, 2016
Get the Bipolar Pussymug. the presence of someone, usually female, with an incredibly nice ass which renders one unable to concentrate on work, school or any other task. Though usually affecting men, it has been known to happen to women as well.
Bill: I just marked all those 32" televisions the wrong price. The boss almost fired me.
Jim: What happened?
Bill: I was paying too much attention to the booty on that new girl in the camera department.
Jim: Oh, I could stare at that all day.
Bill: I know, but it's such an asstraction.
Jim: What happened?
Bill: I was paying too much attention to the booty on that new girl in the camera department.
Jim: Oh, I could stare at that all day.
Bill: I know, but it's such an asstraction.
by theinstigator December 13, 2013
Get the asstractionmug. When a lady is giving her man a handjob or blowjob and the pressure has built and the first blast of jizz shoots up over her head, possibly into her hair. It is quite similar to the naval maneuver where one ship intentionally shoots high and beyond another ship as a warning that they are well within firing range and bad things will happen if proper action is not taken. In our case, though, it is a warning to the lady that she better hurry and point that babymaker in the direction she wants the rest of the jizz to go whether it's her mouth, tits, face (NOT THE EYES!!!)
Suddenly, a blast of cum shot up toward Jane's face. She flinched and the thick stream shot just over her forehead and dropped in Jane's hair from front to back like a pearly river. Recognizing this as a warning shot over the bow, Jane wanted to protect her eyes so she quickly put her mouth over Doug's cock. She soon realized it was too much to handle as every contraction from Doug sent another stream into her mouth and soon it poured down her chin and all over her succulent breasts. By the time his orgasm had ended Jane was plastered with the thick goo. It was very evident to Jane that Doug hadn't been with a woman in a while.
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
Get the Warning shot over the bowmug.