theinstigator's definitions
the residue left on one's face after performing a nice sloppy job of cunnilingus. The "glaze" would be all across and above the upper lip, down the edges of the mouth and completely covering the whole front of the chin.
After Delilah had her orgasm, Fred lifted his mouth from between her legs. She raised her head from the pillow and saw he was grinning at her. She smiled with satisfaction and found it quite charming how his glaze goatee glistened in the candlelight.
by theinstigator December 30, 2013
Get the glaze goatee mug.a woman's hair arranged at the back of her head, held together with a band and to be used by a man as a handle while receiving oral sex from a willing female.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
Greg: Hey, Betsy, I noticed from the water cooler you put your hair into a ponytail. Would you like to give me a blowjob?
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
by theinstigator December 18, 2013
Get the ponytail mug.When your woman gives you some head (a blowjob) and being the respectable gal she is she wraps her lips tightly around your magnificent manhood as you cum to a rousing climax. As it turns out, she had been bringing you to the edge so many times that your body kept producing that baby gravy and by the time you finally released your man chowder the volume was far too much for her to handle. Schlong juice spurts from the broken seal of her lips on your bitch impaler. Often, splooge will spew from her nose and her ears may pop.
Raymond: Damn, woman! You leakin' everywhere! You got blown head gaskets, bitch. Now finish up on old Ray's dick and then go wash that shit off yourself so I can give you a little hug.
by theinstigator September 16, 2016
Get the Blown Head Gaskets mug.An act performed after thoroughly coating a girl’s eyeballs with your jizz, giving them a glistening iridescent coating, temporarily blinding her. To relieve her clouded vision, you convince her to be very still and keep her stinging peepers wide open. Then you make two fists and slug her very hard simultaneously in the eyes, knocking your milky man-juice from her beautiful baby blues. Thus, you have performed cataract removal.
by theinstigator June 4, 2016
Get the Cataract Removal mug.When a guy is receiving a blowjob from his girl and as she attempts to deep throat him she suddenly sneezes so violently she ejects from her nose a yellowish snot trail all over his majestic manhood plus she accidentally bites his magnificent va-jay-jay impaler but it doesn’t quite draw blood.
Thanks to her allergies and missing teeth, Belinda created a hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup situation last night on her date with Homer.
by theinstigator June 3, 2016
Get the Hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup mug.When three or more people are riding in a car and they drive through a tunnel, all the windows are rolled down and everyone screams out the windows all the way through the tunnel. Their shrieking reverberates off the walls of the tunnel causing quite a ruckus.
Bum #1: Listen to those damn fools yelling out their windows!
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
Get the Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome mug.A guy who convinces a woman to put on wool skirt and sweater and take a drive out to the country with him until they come to a nice pasture with a split-rail fence. He convinces her to put her head through the fence where he bends a board down to trap her head so she’s stuck in the fence in a bent over position. He then pulls up her skirt and fucks her from behind. After he finishes, he strips her naked and pulls out some sheers and shaves her head completely. He then tells the crying woman if she says, “baa” six times he will release her. But when she does, it turns the suck bastard on and he humps her again.
Betty: Why are you wearing a wig?
Veronica: I went out with a sheep farmer last night.
Betty: What's his name?
Veronica: Baaaa-b
Veronica: I went out with a sheep farmer last night.
Betty: What's his name?
Veronica: Baaaa-b
by theinstigator June 3, 2016
Get the sheep farmer mug.