theinstigator's definitions
When your woman gives you some head (a blowjob) and being the respectable gal she is she wraps her lips tightly around your magnificent manhood as you cum to a rousing climax. As it turns out, she had been bringing you to the edge so many times that your body kept producing that baby gravy and by the time you finally released your man chowder the volume was far too much for her to handle. Schlong juice spurts from the broken seal of her lips on your bitch impaler. Often, splooge will spew from her nose and her ears may pop.
Raymond: Damn, woman! You leakin' everywhere! You got blown head gaskets, bitch. Now finish up on old Ray's dick and then go wash that shit off yourself so I can give you a little hug.
by theinstigator September 16, 2016
Get the Blown Head Gaskets mug.one who is so horny and depraved they will have sex with anything and everything they can find at the peak of their sexual lust. Though popular opinion would suggest being a spasmanian devil is a male behavior, studies have shown females to qualify as well. One study placed a male subject alone in a furnished house with hidden cameras. He was given porn and other types of erotic stimuli. The urge to have sex became totally overpowering. In the mayhem that followed he had sex with two couch pillows, three socks, a medium size cantaloupe, a vase, a cherry pie, a parka, and a paper towel cylinder before finally finishing off in the hole of a subwoofer. A female subject was placed in the same test conditions. She got so worked up she had sex with three carrots, a cucumber, an over-ripe banana, a television remote, a Coca-Cola classic bottle, the left handlebar from a 1962 Harley Panhead, and a rolling pin before climaxing with a Prell Guava Shampoo bottle (the concave design with ribbed grip to prevent dropping in the shower.)
Nobody would allow Harold to have more than two drinks at a party. They all remembered the previous summer when, at the Dorfman's pool party he got so drunk and horny he turned into a spasmanian devil and tried to fuck a life jacket, a inflatable water wing, the pool vacuum, Fred Dorfman and Shermie the cocker spaniel.
by theinstigator January 1, 2014
Get the spasmanian devil mug.The kind of woman who is so wild in bed she might happily do the kinkiest thing your twisted little mind could conjure up and she would really get off on the raw sexual energy from such an act --- but...she could also wake up 3 hours later and go Lorena Bobbit on your ass and lop your dick off with a Ginsu carving knife, tossing your pathetic little wee wee in the huge pond out back to feed the snapping turtles---all because you forgot to put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste. Bipolar pussy is absolute THE BEST sex one could ever have but one has to keep in mind that the crazy IS going to come out eventually so be ready to lose anything and possibly everything. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
SCENE: KITCHEN, A NAKED MAN HAS A NAKED WOMAN BENT OVER THE OPEN DOOR OF HIS STOVE, HER HEAD IS IN THE OVEN AND HE IS FUCKING HER ASS WITH THE HANDLE OF A MEDIUM SAUCEPAN. SHE IS SCREAMING IN ECSTASY.
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
by theinstigator October 1, 2016
Get the Bipolar Pussy mug.the presence of someone, usually female, with an incredibly nice ass which renders one unable to concentrate on work, school or any other task. Though usually affecting men, it has been known to happen to women as well.
Bill: I just marked all those 32" televisions the wrong price. The boss almost fired me.
Jim: What happened?
Bill: I was paying too much attention to the booty on that new girl in the camera department.
Jim: Oh, I could stare at that all day.
Bill: I know, but it's such an asstraction.
Jim: What happened?
Bill: I was paying too much attention to the booty on that new girl in the camera department.
Jim: Oh, I could stare at that all day.
Bill: I know, but it's such an asstraction.
by theinstigator December 13, 2013
Get the asstraction mug.A guy who convinces a woman to put on wool skirt and sweater and take a drive out to the country with him until they come to a nice pasture with a split-rail fence. He convinces her to put her head through the fence where he bends a board down to trap her head so she’s stuck in the fence in a bent over position. He then pulls up her skirt and fucks her from behind. After he finishes, he strips her naked and pulls out some sheers and shaves her head completely. He then tells the crying woman if she says, “baa” six times he will release her. But when she does, it turns the suck bastard on and he humps her again.
Betty: Why are you wearing a wig?
Veronica: I went out with a sheep farmer last night.
Betty: What's his name?
Veronica: Baaaa-b
Veronica: I went out with a sheep farmer last night.
Betty: What's his name?
Veronica: Baaaa-b
by theinstigator June 3, 2016
Get the sheep farmer mug.When three or more people are riding in a car and they drive through a tunnel, all the windows are rolled down and everyone screams out the windows all the way through the tunnel. Their shrieking reverberates off the walls of the tunnel causing quite a ruckus.
Bum #1: Listen to those damn fools yelling out their windows!
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
Get the Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome mug.When a shit coming out of one's ass is so long that it has amassed at the bottom of the toilet bowl and grown to the surface like a volcanic island emerging from the Pacific Ocean. The shit keeps coming in one long continuous poop like when a soft serve ice cream machine has a faulty handle. Eventually, to prevent the growing glop of excrement from pressing the buttocks from below, the person has to lift their ass off the toilet seat and rotate and hover their butt cheeks over this watery porcelain pit to let the brownie rope coil onto the steaming lump with as low a profile as possible. Though the shit is obviously dropping downward, the turd snake appears to be rising slowly from the toilet bowl, mesmerized by the slowly swirling ass, and burying it's head into that hypnotic brown eye from which it came.
Ben: "Dudes, I just took a shit that was so long that the top of it comes 5 inches above the waterline. I even made it curly-Q'ed like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen."
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
Charley: "Damn, man! Your ass is a brown-eyed snake charmer!"
by theinstigator September 16, 2016
Get the Brown-eyed Snake Charmer mug.