when a man spreads a woman's legs, pins them back and fucks her so hard her back cracks. This custom became so popular in the early 1980's that some enthusiasts would have spinal adjustment parties and couples would simultaneously engage in this form of boning. The combined sound of all the cracking spines gave the aural illusion of crickets chirping. The practice didn't quite reach "fad" status, though, as it really didn't sound that close to crickets chirping and it was only interesting to the bystander for a few quick moments. Eventually, the party idea died out and currently spinal adjustments are practiced in the privacy of one's home. This has been known to save dozens of dollars in chiropractor bills, cutting health costs by 0.00001%, though statistics have only been kept since Valentines Day, 2012.
Harold: Hey, Fred, what's with Steph?
Fred: Fucked her so hard last night, I gave her a spinal adjustment.
Harold: Oh, okay. That's awesome. The way she was walking, I thought she had some kind of pussy rash.
Fred: No, it was great. Had her up to five pops. Got four more on the last thrust. Adjusted!!! (high fives)
Fred: Fucked her so hard last night, I gave her a spinal adjustment.
Harold: Oh, okay. That's awesome. The way she was walking, I thought she had some kind of pussy rash.
Fred: No, it was great. Had her up to five pops. Got four more on the last thrust. Adjusted!!! (high fives)
by theinstigator December 13, 2013
Get the spinal adjustment mug.A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!
Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Get the Va-jay-jay Sweater mug.When one has had so much sex that their cock is rubbed raw but they have sex again anyway and it burns like a motherfucker and just as they reach a climax and cum they yell, “Oh the humanity!”
“Sorry, Betty. We need to slow down. That last fuck was the Hindenburg for me. My dick is a disaster.”
by theinstigator June 03, 2016
Get the the Hindenburg mug.a woman's hair arranged at the back of her head, held together with a band and to be used by a man as a handle while receiving oral sex from a willing female.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
Greg: Hey, Betsy, I noticed from the water cooler you put your hair into a ponytail. Would you like to give me a blowjob?
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
by theinstigator December 18, 2013
Get the ponytail mug.When a lady is giving her man a handjob or blowjob and the pressure has built and the first blast of jizz shoots up over her head, possibly into her hair. It is quite similar to the naval maneuver where one ship intentionally shoots high and beyond another ship as a warning that they are well within firing range and bad things will happen if proper action is not taken. In our case, though, it is a warning to the lady that she better hurry and point that babymaker in the direction she wants the rest of the jizz to go whether it's her mouth, tits, face (NOT THE EYES!!!)
Suddenly, a blast of cum shot up toward Jane's face. She flinched and the thick stream shot just over her forehead and dropped in Jane's hair from front to back like a pearly river. Recognizing this as a warning shot over the bow, Jane wanted to protect her eyes so she quickly put her mouth over Doug's cock. She soon realized it was too much to handle as every contraction from Doug sent another stream into her mouth and soon it poured down her chin and all over her succulent breasts. By the time his orgasm had ended Jane was plastered with the thick goo. It was very evident to Jane that Doug hadn't been with a woman in a while.
by theinstigator September 22, 2016
Get the Warning shot over the bow mug.a word that is formed when a woman is wearing pants with writing across the rear and the pants get wedged into her ass crack creating an entirely different word due to the inability to see letters that are concealed by said ass crack. Generally this occurs when the pants are a bit too loose.
Gerald: What's so funny, Jack?
Jack: That big-assed girl, Jennie, has been walking around with the word "Lonk" on her ass.
Gerald: What the hell is Lonk?
Jack: All morning I'd been trying to figure that out. Then she farted and her pants inflated and then I could see it read "Love Pink."
Gerald: Oh, Lonk is a wedge word.
Jack: That big-assed girl, Jennie, has been walking around with the word "Lonk" on her ass.
Gerald: What the hell is Lonk?
Jack: All morning I'd been trying to figure that out. Then she farted and her pants inflated and then I could see it read "Love Pink."
Gerald: Oh, Lonk is a wedge word.
by theinstigator December 15, 2013
Get the wedge word mug.the state a man is in after a totally messed up role-play session with a woman where he dresses up like a lion and she as a gnu or wildebeest. After their sexual game is taken outside, he loses track of her and finally notices the "wounded" wildebeest "struggling" beneath a tree. He stalks then pounces, gnawing playfully on the neck and back. Then he begins to have sex with the "helpless animal" until he ultimately climaxes and the "gnu" becomes completely motionless. Then he looks up and there- in costume- is his partner, aghast. It is then that he realizes he has just humped an actual wounded wildebeest and the last thing it felt before it died was his own shimmering orgasm. His woman calls him a sick fuck and tells everyone she knows. He is shunned from society, while she- in her wildebeest costume- is treated like the gnu girl in town. She becomes a celebrity and is welcomed everywhere, which really sucks because she is the one who suggested the role-play idea in the first place. But that is the gnu world order.
Jules always asks for three words of English from any dead wildebeest before he has sex with it. He doesn't want any part of the gnu world order.
by theinstigator January 01, 2014
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