theinstigator's definitions

Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome

When three or more people are riding in a car and they drive through a tunnel, all the windows are rolled down and everyone screams out the windows all the way through the tunnel. Their shrieking reverberates off the walls of the tunnel causing quite a ruckus.

Bum #1: Listen to those damn fools yelling out their windows!
Bum#2: They can't help it, Earl. I think they got that disease.
Bum #1: What disease, Fred?
Bum #2: That there Car Pool Tunnel Syndrome.
Bum #1: You're a fucking idiot, Fred.

by theinstigator September 22, 2016

Va-jay-jay Sweater

A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!

Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!

Gregor: Score, dude!

Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.

Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?

Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.

Gregor: Whoa.

Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater

by theinstigator October 18, 2016

the Hindenburg

When one has had so much sex that their cock is rubbed raw but they have sex again anyway and it burns like a motherfucker and just as they reach a climax and cum they yell, “Oh the humanity!”

“Sorry, Betty. We need to slow down. That last fuck was the Hindenburg for me. My dick is a disaster.”

by theinstigator June 3, 2016

Hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup

When a guy is receiving a blowjob from his girl and as she attempts to deep throat him she suddenly sneezes so violently she ejects from her nose a yellowish snot trail all over his majestic manhood plus she accidentally bites his magnificent va-jay-jay impaler but it doesn’t quite draw blood.

Thanks to her allergies and missing teeth, Belinda created a hot dog with mustard, hold the ketchup situation last night on her date with Homer.

by theinstigator June 3, 2016

gnu world order

the state a man is in after a totally messed up role-play session with a woman where he dresses up like a lion and she as a gnu or wildebeest. After their sexual game is taken outside, he loses track of her and finally notices the "wounded" wildebeest "struggling" beneath a tree. He stalks then pounces, gnawing playfully on the neck and back. Then he begins to have sex with the "helpless animal" until he ultimately climaxes and the "gnu" becomes completely motionless. Then he looks up and there- in costume- is his partner, aghast. It is then that he realizes he has just humped an actual wounded wildebeest and the last thing it felt before it died was his own shimmering orgasm. His woman calls him a sick fuck and tells everyone she knows. He is shunned from society, while she- in her wildebeest costume- is treated like the gnu girl in town. She becomes a celebrity and is welcomed everywhere, which really sucks because she is the one who suggested the role-play idea in the first place. But that is the gnu world order.

Jules always asks for three words of English from any dead wildebeest before he has sex with it. He doesn't want any part of the gnu world order.

by theinstigator January 1, 2014

fart parachute

the occurrence of really loose pants puffing up with air and becoming taut due to a powerful fart.

Harry: Will you look at that.

Greg: What? Mary?
Harry: Yeah. She's way too large to be wearing yoga pants. And even as big as she is, the pants look kinda baggy.
Greg: Whoa! What the hell happened?
Harry: Hah! She farted!
Greg: Her pants inflated! That's incredible!
Harry: That, my friend, was a fart parachute.

by theinstigator December 15, 2013

Warning shot over the bow

When a lady is giving her man a handjob or blowjob and the pressure has built and the first blast of jizz shoots up over her head, possibly into her hair. It is quite similar to the naval maneuver where one ship intentionally shoots high and beyond another ship as a warning that they are well within firing range and bad things will happen if proper action is not taken. In our case, though, it is a warning to the lady that she better hurry and point that babymaker in the direction she wants the rest of the jizz to go whether it's her mouth, tits, face (NOT THE EYES!!!)

Suddenly, a blast of cum shot up toward Jane's face. She flinched and the thick stream shot just over her forehead and dropped in Jane's hair from front to back like a pearly river. Recognizing this as a warning shot over the bow, Jane wanted to protect her eyes so she quickly put her mouth over Doug's cock. She soon realized it was too much to handle as every contraction from Doug sent another stream into her mouth and soon it poured down her chin and all over her succulent breasts. By the time his orgasm had ended Jane was plastered with the thick goo. It was very evident to Jane that Doug hadn't been with a woman in a while.

by theinstigator September 22, 2016