A hairy pussy, usually one that is thick and matted over like those heavy holiday sweaters with tangled pubes like they’ve been woven by Amish elves. Yeah, imagine trying to fuck that!
Dolph: Damn, bro. I just had my hand down Frita's pants!
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
Gregor: Score, dude!
Dolph: Not so fast, Holmes. I couldn't even get my fingers in her pussy.
Gregor: Seriously? Was she fightin' it?
Dolph: Naw, man. Her hair down there was impenetrable.
Gregor: Whoa.
Dolph: Yeah, bud. It was like she had a va-jay-jay sweater
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
Take her to Poletown is a way for a guy to tell someone that they are going to have sex with a certain woman. It may be mistaken by the more naïve person (even the woman herself) as a reference to the Polish district of a large city but that is just a guy's way of letting another know (wink, wink) that sometime in the near future his dick's going to be wearing her Va-jay-jay sweater.
Cal: Hey, Frankie. I got a date this Friday with Paulette.
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
Frankie: Damn! She is so freakin’ hot!
Cal: Yeah. Guaranteed, man, Within two weeks I’m going to take her to Poletown!
by theinstigator October 18, 2016
An act performed after thoroughly coating a girl’s eyeballs with your jizz, giving them a glistening iridescent coating, temporarily blinding her. To relieve her clouded vision, you convince her to be very still and keep her stinging peepers wide open. Then you make two fists and slug her very hard simultaneously in the eyes, knocking your milky man-juice from her beautiful baby blues. Thus, you have performed cataract removal.
by theinstigator June 04, 2016
The kind of woman who is so wild in bed she might happily do the kinkiest thing your twisted little mind could conjure up and she would really get off on the raw sexual energy from such an act --- but...she could also wake up 3 hours later and go Lorena Bobbit on your ass and lop your dick off with a Ginsu carving knife, tossing your pathetic little wee wee in the huge pond out back to feed the snapping turtles---all because you forgot to put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste. Bipolar pussy is absolute THE BEST sex one could ever have but one has to keep in mind that the crazy IS going to come out eventually so be ready to lose anything and possibly everything. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
SCENE: KITCHEN, A NAKED MAN HAS A NAKED WOMAN BENT OVER THE OPEN DOOR OF HIS STOVE, HER HEAD IS IN THE OVEN AND HE IS FUCKING HER ASS WITH THE HANDLE OF A MEDIUM SAUCEPAN. SHE IS SCREAMING IN ECSTASY.
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
RITA: Yes, yes! Use the extra large cast iron skillet handle!
As the man hurries to grab the skillet, the CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE ROOM INTO THE FRONT ROOM WHERE RITA'S CLOTHES ARE STREWN ABOUT IN THE ORDER SHE TOOK THEM OFF FROM THE TIME SHE ENTERED THE FRONT DOOR.
ANNOUNCER: Bill thought he had hooked up with a dream woman; one who just gave him the best night of sex he'd ever had...
AND AS THE CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR...
ANNOUNCER: ...but he would soon find out...
CAMERA BACKS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SHOWS BILL'S FRONT LAWN:
Tire tracks are in circles on the front lawn and lead to a Pink Ford Ranger which has the mailbox lodged in it's grill. A Blue Chevy Silverado is parked neatly in the driveway but has "SHE LOVES ME" keyed in the side of the nice paint. And a dog is hanging by its neck from a garden hose which is strung from a short vertical flagpole to the right of the front door.
ANNOUNCER: ...he had hooked up with...Bipolar Pussy!
by theinstigator September 28, 2016
a woman's hair arranged at the back of her head, held together with a band and to be used by a man as a handle while receiving oral sex from a willing female.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.
Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.
A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.
Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
Greg: Hey, Betsy, I noticed from the water cooler you put your hair into a ponytail. Would you like to give me a blowjob?
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.
by theinstigator December 18, 2013
Dr. Viktrov, the scientist: (unzipping his pants) Do you know, Natasia, a single sperm contains about 37.5 mb of DNA information? This means that the average male ejaculate would represent a data transfer of approximately 1,587 gb in about 3 seconds.
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
Natasia, the lab assistant: (kneeling and taking the chewing gum from her mouth and sticking it to the bottom of the table) That's a lot of information to swallow, Doctor!
by theinstigator March 04, 2014
one who is so horny and depraved they will have sex with anything and everything they can find at the peak of their sexual lust. Though popular opinion would suggest being a spasmanian devil is a male behavior, studies have shown females to qualify as well. One study placed a male subject alone in a furnished house with hidden cameras. He was given porn and other types of erotic stimuli. The urge to have sex became totally overpowering. In the mayhem that followed he had sex with two couch pillows, three socks, a medium size cantaloupe, a vase, a cherry pie, a parka, and a paper towel cylinder before finally finishing off in the hole of a subwoofer. A female subject was placed in the same test conditions. She got so worked up she had sex with three carrots, a cucumber, an over-ripe banana, a television remote, a Coca-Cola classic bottle, the left handlebar from a 1962 Harley Panhead, and a rolling pin before climaxing with a Prell Guava Shampoo bottle (the concave design with ribbed grip to prevent dropping in the shower.)
Nobody would allow Harold to have more than two drinks at a party. They all remembered the previous summer when, at the Dorfman's pool party he got so drunk and horny he turned into a spasmanian devil and tried to fuck a life jacket, a inflatable water wing, the pool vacuum, Fred Dorfman and Shermie the cocker spaniel.
by theinstigator January 02, 2014