the jax's definitions

Golden Toes

When a girl or woman has feet where her bone structure, skin tone, nail placement, and skin texture are so close to perfect that a majority of people who are attracted to female feet will consider her feet more attractive then anything else they ever seen.

A girl I work with is always playing with her shoes under her desk. One day I walked by and she had them off. I couldn't help but stop and look. I could not believe she had Golden Toes. I have never seen feet so beautiful. Some girls have busted feet or they are so-so. But her feet are so amazing.

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Ongoing Payroll Issue

When an individual that works for an employer, who hasn't been fired and is still employed, stops recieving a paycheck due to a payroll screw up. Everytime the individual attempts to follow up on the problem, the person in charge of payroll will call it by that name. Usually, due to the high demands and deadlines in any given payroll department, the probability of the problem being corrected is very low unless a very high level supervisor has become involved. The problem can last for weeks, even months, forcing the individual to get another job or quit all together. Usually getting denied unemployment for quiting. In rare cases, the individual, who quits, will recieve a W-2 form at the end of the year showing all wages, yet a large amount of those wages still have not been paid.

1) I went to pick up my paycheck Friday and my boss did not have it when they came. Payroll was closed and I had to wait till Monday. I called them on Monday and they told me that I should have been paid and that there was an Ongoing Payroll Issue and that it would work itself out shortly. 16 weeks later, I got another job and sued the bastards!

by The Jax May 2, 2007

Tween Wet White T-shirt Trick

When an older perverted guy who knows better, runs into a girl between 9 and 12 in a bathing suit wearing a white t-shirt over it, and the guy has the disturbing urge to want to see the girls under developed, yet already growing breasts. The trick involves tricking the girl into taking her bathing suit top off with her shirt on, claiming she can not do it. Then when she does it, the guy squirts her t-shirt with water. Most of the time, the girl is gullible enough to think he is just playing around. Sometimes, the girl catches on and isn't very happy about it. In rare cases, the police are called and the guy has a lot of explaining to do.

I was on the beach with my 11 y/o nieces friend. She was wearing a white t-shirt over her bathing suit. I knew it was wrong but I had a water gun and I attempted the Tween Wet White T-shirt Trick. She caught on with what I was doing after the fact and she didn't appreciate it. Neither did her parents or my niece........ or the cop........ or the judge.

by The Jax May 3, 2007

Devine Offering Position

When a barefoot but clothed girl between ages 11 and 25 with pretty feet and legs puts herself in a non-sexual position, either sitting on the floor or in a chair, where she puts her feet up, bringing her knees to her chest and her heels to her butt, in a way that it looks like she is presenting her feet to another male. Almost 100% of girls who put themelves in this position are doing so to feel comfortable. Most male who have feet and leg fetishes for younger girls called this position by this name and find it arousing.

I was over a friend's house. After dinner we sat on the floor with his family and talked. My friend's younger sister was barefoot and put herself in a Devine Offering Position. She had no idea I was turned on and I wanted to play with her feet so bad!

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Jewishophile

When a non-jewish male of adult age having no knowledge of the jewish religion is aroused and attracted to Jewish adolescent women that are dressed up and wear pantyhose.

I was at the Palisades Center Mall on Sunday and I seen Phil. I said hello and asked him what brought him to the mall today. He said "Well every Sunday the hot jewish teens come out of the woodwork and come to shop at this mall all dressed up because they just came from temple and find that hot". So I said, "Ok well um aren't you almost 30, Phil?". He replied, "I look but don't touch. Then I remember what I see and go home and screw the brains out of my ugly girlfriend with the lights off".

Phil is such a Jewishophile!

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Hanukkah Poverty Selfgift

When a poor Jewish family celebrates Hanukkah yet does not have any money to provide gifts for each other. In this instance a selfgift is proclaimed, allowing another member of their immediate family to have consensual heterosexual sexual intercourse with them, thus satisfying the gift requirement. Sometimes father and daughter or brother and sister selfgifts will be given in this instance as long as both gifters are at least adolescent age. In the case that there are pre-adolescents in the family, the father and mother have sexual intercourse in front of their children, thus gifting to them to a show of lovemaking.

My mom and dad lost their jobs due to downsizing and the economy is terrible. This Hanukkah we did not have any money to buy gifts for each other. My sister offered a Hanukkah Poverty Selfgift. It wasn't right but she offered so I screwed her brains out. My parents were understanding of the situation since she didn't have a gift. I will never tell the guys in school about it though.

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Deflowering Event

A public, semi-public, or private coming of age celebration ceremony, during or shortly after a Batmitzvah for the jewish, or 8th Grade graduation for various christians, taking place within the event on a stage or raised platform, which requires the act of a father or an adult male for hire having consensual sexual intercourse with the guest of honor, a minor adolescent girl, with the end result of the hymen being broken and the male having an orgasm outside of the girls body. The reason for this is to prepare the girl for adulthood while at the same time preventing the minor adolescent girl from being in an uncomfortable situation with another man during her years as a teenager or an adult.

After a Deflowering Event, a certificate is issued, usually by a member of the clergy. The reason for this, in most cases, is to avoid prosecution for allowing this event. The event itself is considered illegal but the certificate can make it legal for the reason of it being a religeous family tradition.

For the event, the girl is required to wear traditional formal attire, consisting of a dress of prom-like or a dress shirt and formal skirt. Pantyhose, if worn, is taken off prior to the deflowering, during this event. The girl is required to be barefoot.

After the event, if a male was hired, it is customary for the male to leave the premises. It is considered taboo and highly disrectful in the utmost highest regard towards the family to have the male remain at the ceremony after the Deflowering Event has taken place. The male will be asked to leave. If the male remains without an invitation from a head member of the family, which is rare, it may cause the family and their guests at the ceremony to create an uncomfortable situation in which most usually is escalated. If the male still remains at the ceremony after the situation is escalated, the family will be obligated by tradition to take matters into their own hands to physically remove the male. Leading up to a civil unrest or even in rare cases, a riot, where the local authorities may have to be contacted to restore order.

"I was at my friend's 12 year old sister's BatMitzvah last week and I seen her have sex with her father on stage in front of the entire family. When I asked someone about it, they told me it was a traditional Deflowering Event. His family is weird and he's not my friend anymore."

by The Jax January 17, 2007