mark h's definitions
It doesn't just have to be semen, it can be any liquid or powdered substance. Salt, pepper, sugar, hot sauce, anything goes.
The USMC drill sergeant has just woken up an oversleeping cadet by setting off the Lagasse alarm, throwing pepper on the man's face.
"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"
"BAM! Wake up, maggot! Just who the hell do you think you are? Rip Van Winkle? Get up, take a shower, dress up, and catch your sorry carcass up with the rest of the others who are apparently better evolved primates than you are! Yeah!"
by Mark H July 11, 2004
Get the lagasse alarmmug. A threesome in which a white woman is getting simultaneously screwed in her pussy and indabutt by two black men.
See also oreo'd.
See also oreo'd.
After helping their university win the basketball game, Terrell and Jaquan made off with a very hot white blonde cheerleader bitch from the losing university's team, took her into the men's locker room, and made an oreo cookie out of her.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 30, 2005
Get the oreo cookiemug. A commonly-used idiom. When someone is "all bark and no bite," it means that he or she is either:
1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.
OR
2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.
This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.
1. Threatening to do something to you, but is not really willing to do it.
OR
2. Acting all tough, intimidating, and agressive, but is too cowardly and chicken and/or also not strong enough to be willing to even throw one single punch at you.
This idiom is so called, because these kinds of people are likened to dogs who keep barking at you to try to make you afraid, but are actually not going to bite you.
In the projects, Jamal (who is short, skinny and kinda smart) is having a confrontation with Tyrone (who is a large and obese niggapotamus and a bit dumb as well) over a bag of crack rock and a cheap (but VERY attractive) prostitute.
Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.
Tyrone: "You gotta be kidding me, bitch! I am all jonesing for this shit right here like a kid in a candy store when all of a sudden, some rhesus monkey from down the block tries to run up my quality time!"
Jamal: "Shove a sock in it, fool! This be my quality time and I am the one who's gonna chuck it in her! Get anywhere near her and my crack rock, and you'll be lying bernie in a pool of your own blood and cellulite!"
Tyrone: "*laughs hysterically* You!? Some half pint threatening to blast a gat on me?! Where's yo gat anyway? *laughs some more* All bark and no bite! *puts on spiked brass knuckles*"
Jamal: "You one stupid ass nigga, you know! Glad I got my spazz by my side! *Jamal quickly pulls out his shotgun from underneath his trenchcoat(where Tyrone doesn't notice it) and points it at Tyrone* Now who's all bark and no bite now, BITCH!"
Tyrone: *soils his pants and runs home crying*
Jamal: *takes the crack rock*
Jamal: (to the girl) Alright baby, now let's go back to my place and hit the sack. I've got everything you want and everything you need.
Mark H. UrbanDictionary disciple since February 2004.
by Mark H October 27, 2004
Get the all bark and no bitemug. God I went to the proctologist today and man, he wouldn't finish checking my ass for 6 hours already! What an asstronomer! Next time I go see a proctologist, I should ask him if he's gay or else if he is I won't let him examine my ass.
by Mark H June 11, 2004
Get the asstronomermug. Similarly used as "of doom," the phrase "from Hell" is an add-on that signifies what's wretched, horrible, abysmal, very bad, awful, infernal, etc. about something.
Getting his candy bar taken from his pocket by some brat kid. Then, getting his apartment burglarized. Then, getting erectile dysfunction while having sex with his very hot girlfriend. Then, getting dumped by his girlfriend. Then, getting dumped on by a flock of seagulls afterwards. Then, flunking the SAT. Then, getting fired from his job. Then, realizing he was too broke to pay his bills. Then, being forced from his apartment. Then, knowing that his mom had died from a heart attack. Then, knowing that his dad also died in a construction yard accident. Yep, for Mike that certainly was the day from Hell.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.
Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this as the closing finale to his day. Then, going back from the local bar to his cardboard shack in the alley wasted with the Virgin Mary wearing a bikini top and miniskirt and then waking up the next morning naked next to the disgusting 400-pound demonic beast-woman from Hell.
Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
by Mark H August 21, 2005
Get the from Hellmug. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong!
Before you deck her, cover your pecker!
While she gets in heat, package your meat!
Before undressing Venus, dress up your...
...you know what.
*rimshot*
Before you deck her, cover your pecker!
While she gets in heat, package your meat!
Before undressing Venus, dress up your...
...you know what.
*rimshot*
by Mark H June 17, 2004
Get the pro-condom slogansmug. (v.) To fall on your nuts while on a slippery surface and then slide across the surface while still positioned on your nuts.
(Winter Olympics male figure skating event)
Announcer: ...and there goes Mark with his signature mooove... *jump* *slip* *THUD* *slide* *WHAM* Owww! My goodness! Not only did he fell, he landed on his organs of manhood and then skeeballed across the ice and straight into the wall! Now that really has got to hurt! Well, there goes Mark's third chance to go for gold along with his ability to reproduce!
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Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Slang Author since February 2004.
Announcer: ...and there goes Mark with his signature mooove... *jump* *slip* *THUD* *slide* *WHAM* Owww! My goodness! Not only did he fell, he landed on his organs of manhood and then skeeballed across the ice and straight into the wall! Now that really has got to hurt! Well, there goes Mark's third chance to go for gold along with his ability to reproduce!
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Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Slang Author since February 2004.
by Mark H August 30, 2006
Get the skeeballmug.