Definitions by mark h
hornet's nest
1. Ever since 9/11, the US has been at war and in a political hornet's nest with terrorism worldwide.
2. Jamal and Terrell really got into some gangsta shit when they stirred up a hornet's nest with their fellow Crips, who refused to share their McDonald's chicken selects with them.
2. Jamal and Terrell really got into some gangsta shit when they stirred up a hornet's nest with their fellow Crips, who refused to share their McDonald's chicken selects with them.
hornet's nest by Mark H March 17, 2005
rat's tutu
A comparative slang term that is used to indicate worthlessness in something. This term is a synonym of rat's ass, though it's slightly harsher(referring to a rat's vagina), less commonly used, and is known to be most often used by America's most loathed anti-gay fundie pastor Fred_Phelps and his congregation of similar-minded followers.
1."You jackass Swedes just don't get it. Once you have laws to chill Bible preaching, we don't give a rat's tutu whatever else you do or say. You are drippings from the Devil's own penis - a veritable sperm bank for Satan's queers." -Fred Phelps (to a few Swedes who sent him and his church photos of the Swedish royal family) BTW, this is quoted from his "church's" website.
2. Yay! Lots of beer for tonight's beirut tourn... whoa wait a minute, you bought us a few whole cases ofO'DOUL'S??!! You fucknob! That shit isn't even worth a rat's TUTU to drink! Now we really need to get into some gangsta shit with you for doing this to us!
Mark H. Over 1 year of Urban Dictionary contributions since last February(like anyone will give a rat's tutu? ;-) ).
2. Yay! Lots of beer for tonight's beirut tourn... whoa wait a minute, you bought us a few whole cases ofO'DOUL'S??!! You fucknob! That shit isn't even worth a rat's TUTU to drink! Now we really need to get into some gangsta shit with you for doing this to us!
Mark H. Over 1 year of Urban Dictionary contributions since last February(like anyone will give a rat's tutu? ;-) ).
rat's tutu by Mark H March 3, 2005
can't hit the broad side of a barn
To have very poor aim. This hyperbolic term is usually used to denote poor marksmanship or to have very poor aim in certain activities that involve throwing something(such as certain sports).
1. While we were out hunting, Mitch was a very poor shot and couldn't even hit the broad side of a barn, and so when he ran out of ammo, he ultimately got Roy Horn'ed by the deer he kept trying to shoot dead.
2. Damn, Mark is such a mark-ass pitcher! He can't even hit the broad side of a barn, let alone strike anyone out. His pitches make even Rafael Palmeiro's erectile dysfunction reach out for a glorious grand slam!
Mark H. On Urban Dictionary since February 2004.
2. Damn, Mark is such a mark-ass pitcher! He can't even hit the broad side of a barn, let alone strike anyone out. His pitches make even Rafael Palmeiro's erectile dysfunction reach out for a glorious grand slam!
Mark H. On Urban Dictionary since February 2004.
can't hit the broad side of a barn by Mark H March 1, 2005
Leaning Tower of Pisa
1. The medieval bell tower in the city of Pisa, Italy, that is world-famous because it is not perpendicular to the ground and appears to likely topple over sometime in the future.
2. A slang/figurative term for a very long penis(particularly when it's not erect).
2. A slang/figurative term for a very long penis(particularly when it's not erect).
1. While we were vacationing in Italy, Timid Timmy was so scared of going up the Leaning Tower of Pisa with us, that he ran off to one of the seedier sides of town to show some fine Italian hooker his Leaning Tower of Pisa and stick it to her.
2. Whenever Frank attends the leakatorium, he always heads for the stalls, because of his serious case of urinal anxiety due to having a major Leaning Tower of Pisa, which he thinks will be very noticeable to men urinating beside him.
3. As the hot girl I was hooking up with, flirted with me, used sexual innuendo on me, and whispered sweet nothings to me, the Leaning Tower of Pisa in my pants began to straighten up...
Mark H. Spicing up slang vocabularies on UrbanDictionary since last February.
2. Whenever Frank attends the leakatorium, he always heads for the stalls, because of his serious case of urinal anxiety due to having a major Leaning Tower of Pisa, which he thinks will be very noticeable to men urinating beside him.
3. As the hot girl I was hooking up with, flirted with me, used sexual innuendo on me, and whispered sweet nothings to me, the Leaning Tower of Pisa in my pants began to straighten up...
Mark H. Spicing up slang vocabularies on UrbanDictionary since last February.
Leaning Tower of Pisa by Mark H February 26, 2005
Eat my shit!
An even more vulgar alternative to saying "Kiss my ass!" when you are really pissed off at someone who did something to you that you didn't like, or when you can't think of a more original and witty comeback to use on someone who's insulting and/or threatening you. When you say this, you either may or may not attempt to make that person do said action.
(scene from Nick D's mid high school years in which he was a badass black gangsta kid who got all da bitchez and was a pain in the ass among the school faculty, staff, and administration)
Principal: Well Nick you have been a chronic problem for a while now. Disrupting the learning enviroment by being a wiseass in class, bullying kids whom you consider lesser forms of human beings, getting into fights, offering drugs, and there have even been rumors of you engaging in some secret sexual activity with your so-called "girlfriends." For all of these atrocities, I am to take you down a peg or two by placing you in strict detention for the remainder of THIS YEAR! You get the point, huh son? HUH!?
Young Nick D: Eat my shit!
Principal: Well then you are expelled from this school FOREVER!! Officer, please escort this young man out of school. We'll make sure he'll never come back to cause more trouble.
*school resource officer grabs and drags Nick D away while Nick struggles and says "Fuck you, you narc-ass pig!" therefore making the cop pull out his Taser...*
_______________________
(Mark H is using the men's room to drop a huge-ass deuce when he becomes suddenly startled upon seeing a fat middle-aged man wearing all pink climb into his stall and threaten him with the intention of brutal rape)
Fat guy: (in a southern accent) Well, lookee what we have here! You shoulda been more carefull in yer choice of stall! Look what I scribbled on the wall beside you.
Mark H: *turns around and sees the message "Free hot gay sex! Come here at 5:30 pm to suck my Texas-sized shlong and get your shit rammed in the wrong direction!" scrawled on the wall beside him in the stall.*
Mark H: (checking his watch to find out that is already 5:30 pm) *Gulp!*
Fat gay guy: Yeah that's right ya yellow-bellied dolly Mexican boy!*smirking with his mouth full of rotten teeth* Aint no way out for ya here! Yer my bitch now an' I'm gunna pin you down an' unfurl the tripod on yer chilli can!
Mark H: Well then eat my shit, you worthless fudge packer! *brutally struggles with the obese gay man, finding him to be a piss-poor brawler and then ultimately judo-flipping him head-first into the toilet*
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
Principal: Well Nick you have been a chronic problem for a while now. Disrupting the learning enviroment by being a wiseass in class, bullying kids whom you consider lesser forms of human beings, getting into fights, offering drugs, and there have even been rumors of you engaging in some secret sexual activity with your so-called "girlfriends." For all of these atrocities, I am to take you down a peg or two by placing you in strict detention for the remainder of THIS YEAR! You get the point, huh son? HUH!?
Young Nick D: Eat my shit!
Principal: Well then you are expelled from this school FOREVER!! Officer, please escort this young man out of school. We'll make sure he'll never come back to cause more trouble.
*school resource officer grabs and drags Nick D away while Nick struggles and says "Fuck you, you narc-ass pig!" therefore making the cop pull out his Taser...*
_______________________
(Mark H is using the men's room to drop a huge-ass deuce when he becomes suddenly startled upon seeing a fat middle-aged man wearing all pink climb into his stall and threaten him with the intention of brutal rape)
Fat guy: (in a southern accent) Well, lookee what we have here! You shoulda been more carefull in yer choice of stall! Look what I scribbled on the wall beside you.
Mark H: *turns around and sees the message "Free hot gay sex! Come here at 5:30 pm to suck my Texas-sized shlong and get your shit rammed in the wrong direction!" scrawled on the wall beside him in the stall.*
Mark H: (checking his watch to find out that is already 5:30 pm) *Gulp!*
Fat gay guy: Yeah that's right ya yellow-bellied dolly Mexican boy!*smirking with his mouth full of rotten teeth* Aint no way out for ya here! Yer my bitch now an' I'm gunna pin you down an' unfurl the tripod on yer chilli can!
Mark H: Well then eat my shit, you worthless fudge packer! *brutally struggles with the obese gay man, finding him to be a piss-poor brawler and then ultimately judo-flipping him head-first into the toilet*
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
Eat my shit! by Mark H February 23, 2005
Texas-sized
Adjective used to describe an object, person, place, or idea, that is uniquely large among his/her/its kind, i.e. with a size exaggeratively being compared to the size of the state of Texas.
"Hey man look over there!" *points to the posterior of a very obese black woman sitting down gorging herself on 25 packages of McDonald's chicken selects. "Check out them Texas-sized buns of hers! That's a huge bitch!"
"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"
"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."
"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."
"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."
"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
"Dude, you should have seen Jerome get a Texas-sized hit from that awesome gravity bong that I made!"
"(at the baseball game) Now just look at that fat redneck man buy a Texas-sized bladder buster of Dr. Pepper for his 5-month old baby. That is just sad."
"Ron Jeremy may be rather healthy and hideously hairy, but he has a rather Texas-sized holy muscle of love to compensate for his appearance."
"Well Howard, I just took a look at those plans of yours for the new shopping mall complex we are building in town and absolutely admired them. Quite a Texas-sized undertaking I tell you."
"George W. Bush is a man of Texas-sized stupidity."
Mark H. UrbanDictionary contributer since last February.
Texas-sized by Mark H February 19, 2005
nether regions
The area between a person's(male and female) legs; the crotch, the groin, the area where reproduction and the removal of bodily wastes occurs.
1.During cheerleading practice, while Jennifer was performing a cartwheel and the crotch of her outfit accidently slipped aside revealing her nether regions, little did she realize that Mick, who was jogging on the track nearby, caught sight of her wardrobe malfunction and suddenly had the irresistable urge to chuck it in her.
*a few days later...*
2.When poor ol' Mick accidently dropped the soap while using the prison shower, he had to bend over to pick it up, but this put his ass and nether regions into view, giving the other boys upstate a grand opportunity to tailpipe him and ram his shit in the wrong direction.
Mark H. Posting definitions on UD since last February.
*a few days later...*
2.When poor ol' Mick accidently dropped the soap while using the prison shower, he had to bend over to pick it up, but this put his ass and nether regions into view, giving the other boys upstate a grand opportunity to tailpipe him and ram his shit in the wrong direction.
Mark H. Posting definitions on UD since last February.
nether regions by Mark H February 14, 2005