luke warm's definitions
Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the Church of Cliff Richard mug.I am nothing; there is nothing; nothing means anything without you.
What else have i thought of all year: Nothing
What else interests me anymore: Nothing
What used to have meaning, now means: Nothing
What do i have to look forward to now that you have made me completely random: Nothing but pain and emptiness.
There is nothing but love
Its up your bum, cant you feel it?
What else have i thought of all year: Nothing
What else interests me anymore: Nothing
What used to have meaning, now means: Nothing
What do i have to look forward to now that you have made me completely random: Nothing but pain and emptiness.
There is nothing but love
Its up your bum, cant you feel it?
by Luke Warm October 18, 2008
Get the Nothing mug.When one becomes vacant during an activity and appears to be staring off into space
The stares occur due to a lack of interest in the local environment, activity or people due to too much self interest and the attention span of a stoned butterfly that flunked out of butterfly primary school in the 3rd grade for licking bus windows instead of innuendo laden flower parts.
The stares occur due to a lack of interest in the local environment, activity or people due to too much self interest and the attention span of a stoned butterfly that flunked out of butterfly primary school in the 3rd grade for licking bus windows instead of innuendo laden flower parts.
NotaBogan: ...It means a lot to me; I cant even begin to tell you how much of a difference this could make ...are you even listening?
ABogan4sure: Umm, what?, sorry Bogan I must have had the stares
NotaBogan: Well thank you for making me feel less than random yet again
ABogan4sure: Oh harden the fuck up and stop being a bogan
NotaBogan: I am so sorry that you have done something to hurt me again and blamed me for it. How could I be so thoughtless as to have feelings.
ABogan4sure: I dont have the energy for this any more
NotaBogan: You are truly the most Awesome friend
The example above may appear a tad random and ‘NotaBogan’ may also appear to be over-reacting somewhat; however, repeated episodes of the stares do tend to add up and become rather annoying (refer: Tracey Smiff)
Wednesday 05/11/2008
ABogan4sure: Umm, what?, sorry Bogan I must have had the stares
NotaBogan: Well thank you for making me feel less than random yet again
ABogan4sure: Oh harden the fuck up and stop being a bogan
NotaBogan: I am so sorry that you have done something to hurt me again and blamed me for it. How could I be so thoughtless as to have feelings.
ABogan4sure: I dont have the energy for this any more
NotaBogan: You are truly the most Awesome friend
The example above may appear a tad random and ‘NotaBogan’ may also appear to be over-reacting somewhat; however, repeated episodes of the stares do tend to add up and become rather annoying (refer: Tracey Smiff)
Wednesday 05/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 22, 2008
Get the The Stares mug.We all have the right to:
1. Make our own choices.
2. Not be controlled by those who believe they are superior to us because they earn the money and pay the bills.
3. Be in control of our destinies (although we must listen to the universe when she calls).
4. Privacy, even from those we believe love us (When someone loves you they respect your privacy).
5. To dream, to hope for a better future for ourselves and for those that we love.
6. Forgive and be forgiven (true love does not require forgiveness).
7. Be understood and to understand ourselves (to understand ourselves we must first be honest with ourselves - Refer: Choice
8. To be happy (Refer: point 2)
9. To be able to tell the one you love that you love her while you are making love to her without fearing that she will never speak to you again.
10. To not be stoned everytime she is willing to love you.
11. To be able to hold her in your arms after sharing so much.
12. Give of ourselves freely; to not be told to follow the rules of Bogans.
13. Be respected; to be helped to find ourselves again when we are lost. (those who love you, will sacrifice everything to help you. Those who only say they love you, do not care enough to show you the respect that you deserve.
14. Follow our hearts and not our minds.
15. Take a risk even when there never was one.
16. Not be blackmailed by those we have become dependant on. - example: When you come home after an amazing day and they are sitting on the edge of the bed with their suitcases packed telling you they are going to leave - that is blackmail. It also suggests that they are willing to risk losing you.
That they do not respect your intelligence and are more than willing to exploit your gullibility.
Just in case you are wondering - if they were going to leave, they would have already left.
The dilemma for you in this situation is that you do not have time to make a choice even if you tell the one who really loves you, that you did have to make a choice.
17. Love and be loved.
1. Make our own choices.
2. Not be controlled by those who believe they are superior to us because they earn the money and pay the bills.
3. Be in control of our destinies (although we must listen to the universe when she calls).
4. Privacy, even from those we believe love us (When someone loves you they respect your privacy).
5. To dream, to hope for a better future for ourselves and for those that we love.
6. Forgive and be forgiven (true love does not require forgiveness).
7. Be understood and to understand ourselves (to understand ourselves we must first be honest with ourselves - Refer: Choice
8. To be happy (Refer: point 2)
9. To be able to tell the one you love that you love her while you are making love to her without fearing that she will never speak to you again.
10. To not be stoned everytime she is willing to love you.
11. To be able to hold her in your arms after sharing so much.
12. Give of ourselves freely; to not be told to follow the rules of Bogans.
13. Be respected; to be helped to find ourselves again when we are lost. (those who love you, will sacrifice everything to help you. Those who only say they love you, do not care enough to show you the respect that you deserve.
14. Follow our hearts and not our minds.
15. Take a risk even when there never was one.
16. Not be blackmailed by those we have become dependant on. - example: When you come home after an amazing day and they are sitting on the edge of the bed with their suitcases packed telling you they are going to leave - that is blackmail. It also suggests that they are willing to risk losing you.
That they do not respect your intelligence and are more than willing to exploit your gullibility.
Just in case you are wondering - if they were going to leave, they would have already left.
The dilemma for you in this situation is that you do not have time to make a choice even if you tell the one who really loves you, that you did have to make a choice.
17. Love and be loved.
by Luke warm October 16, 2008
Get the The Right mug.Somewhat similar to Playing silly buggers
Playing stupid buggers is however never used affectionately or humorously; it is generally used in one of two different ways:
1. To refer to someone deliberately doing something wrong that is likely to have ramifications.
2. To refer to someone doing something really stupid that is likely to not end well at all
Playing stupid buggers is however never used affectionately or humorously; it is generally used in one of two different ways:
1. To refer to someone deliberately doing something wrong that is likely to have ramifications.
2. To refer to someone doing something really stupid that is likely to not end well at all
ex1. I dont know what she is up to, but knowing how her mind works; she is most likely playing stupid buggers
ex2.
Bogan #1 - Why are you in the hospital Bogan?
Bogan #2 - I broke my left armpit, right earlobe, right funny bone and my left nipple.
Bogan #1 - How did you do that you twit?
Bogan #2 - Well its a funny story you see, I was walking around in you mums hot knickers when...
Bogan #1 - ...oi, ive warned you before smartarse; you talk about my mums hot knickers again and I will break your appendix for you!!!
Bogan #2 - Sorry!! dude you got to lay off of the red meat and cheeseburgers, dont get your mums hot knickers in a twist
Bogan #1 Thumps Bogan #2
Bogan #2 - Oww, my fuckin appendix, you nasty fudgin' barstool
Bogan #1 - I did warn you mungbean
Bogan #2 - fair enough i guess; to tell you the truth I jumped off of the roof on my rollerblades with a bowling ball
Bogan #1 - So you were playing stupid buggers then, thats all I needed to know, good luck getting that Darwin award, dont give up on the dream
Bogan #2 - You didnt let me finish!!, anyway, there I was minding my own business on my roof, with my rollerblades and bowling ball wearing your mums hot knickers when...
Bogan #1 - You stupid son of a bitch...
***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored***
Note: its not really censored I just thought writing down those Batman sounds of violence was rather gay
Note #2: There is nothing wrong with being gay, everyone has the Freedom and The right to make the choice of who they want to root. Regardless of your sexual orientation (Im with the Church of Cliff Richard at the moment personally) please have a good read of the Guide to relationships
Cool... 13 cross references!!
I wonder if Narcissism is defined here?
Sunday 02/11/2008
ex2.
Bogan #1 - Why are you in the hospital Bogan?
Bogan #2 - I broke my left armpit, right earlobe, right funny bone and my left nipple.
Bogan #1 - How did you do that you twit?
Bogan #2 - Well its a funny story you see, I was walking around in you mums hot knickers when...
Bogan #1 - ...oi, ive warned you before smartarse; you talk about my mums hot knickers again and I will break your appendix for you!!!
Bogan #2 - Sorry!! dude you got to lay off of the red meat and cheeseburgers, dont get your mums hot knickers in a twist
Bogan #1 Thumps Bogan #2
Bogan #2 - Oww, my fuckin appendix, you nasty fudgin' barstool
Bogan #1 - I did warn you mungbean
Bogan #2 - fair enough i guess; to tell you the truth I jumped off of the roof on my rollerblades with a bowling ball
Bogan #1 - So you were playing stupid buggers then, thats all I needed to know, good luck getting that Darwin award, dont give up on the dream
Bogan #2 - You didnt let me finish!!, anyway, there I was minding my own business on my roof, with my rollerblades and bowling ball wearing your mums hot knickers when...
Bogan #1 - You stupid son of a bitch...
***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored***
Note: its not really censored I just thought writing down those Batman sounds of violence was rather gay
Note #2: There is nothing wrong with being gay, everyone has the Freedom and The right to make the choice of who they want to root. Regardless of your sexual orientation (Im with the Church of Cliff Richard at the moment personally) please have a good read of the Guide to relationships
Cool... 13 cross references!!
I wonder if Narcissism is defined here?
Sunday 02/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the Playing stupid buggers mug.Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.
You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.
You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
Get the The Wanders mug.An expression used to convey various reactions to events. ‘What the fuck?’ may be used in an attempt to explain any one or combination of the reactions/emotions listed below and then some.
A: Confusion
B: Incredulous confusion
C: Surprise
D: Disappointment
E: Hurt
F: Anger
G: Ironically
A: Confusion
B: Incredulous confusion
C: Surprise
D: Disappointment
E: Hurt
F: Anger
G: Ironically
‘What the fuck?’ Is rarely used as a positive statement; however it may be used ironically to convey such is life (refer ex G)
*Note: The ‘McDonalds’ referred to in the following examples is not the all too familiar icon of western civilisation that sells a wide variety of meal choices at prices that are reasonable to the consumer.
The use of the name ‘McDonalds’ is pure coincidence; the name (as applied to the examples below) was randomly generated using a super-dooper computer.
A: Confusion
I was walking past McDonalds the other day; it smelt disgusting. So I was like “What the fuck? Why would you want to eat that?”
B: Incredulous confusion
“What the fuck? All of the people driving into McDonalds look like cheeseburgers!!
C: Surprise
“What the fuck Tracey; is that your mother working at McDonalds in her hot knickers making cheeseburgers?
D: Disappointment
“What the fuck is the world coming to when people are willing to eat greasy cheesys from McDonalds?
E: Hurt
Oh God, what the fuck? How could you eat that cheeseburger from McDonalds? Can’t you see how much anguish and sorrow it causes me to watch you stuff that disgusting in every way symbol of everything that is wrong with the world into your mouth and watch the grease drip down from your lips over your chins, one after another. At the very least it hurts my stomach; what with all the vomiting induced just by the thought of McDonalds cheeseburger consumption by the average overweight western society individual who has little concern for where the produce comes from, the conditions of those involved, the environmental ramifications of fast food production, the nippl… <rant maximum allowable length reached>
F: Anger
What the fuck?
You fuckin’ barstool
There is a maximum length for rants?
I didn’t know that; it makes me very angry, oh yes indeed
Fuckin McDonalds cheeseburgers
G: Ironically
What the fuck kind of a word is ironical; I guess it would have been too much to ask to have a decent name for ironical. It’s a stupid moronical word
*$$* This entire rant (and all sub-rants etc contained within) has not been endorsed by the wonderful people at the greatest corporation in the whole universe – McDonalds *$$*
mmm… Subway
Sunday 09/11/2008
*Note: The ‘McDonalds’ referred to in the following examples is not the all too familiar icon of western civilisation that sells a wide variety of meal choices at prices that are reasonable to the consumer.
The use of the name ‘McDonalds’ is pure coincidence; the name (as applied to the examples below) was randomly generated using a super-dooper computer.
A: Confusion
I was walking past McDonalds the other day; it smelt disgusting. So I was like “What the fuck? Why would you want to eat that?”
B: Incredulous confusion
“What the fuck? All of the people driving into McDonalds look like cheeseburgers!!
C: Surprise
“What the fuck Tracey; is that your mother working at McDonalds in her hot knickers making cheeseburgers?
D: Disappointment
“What the fuck is the world coming to when people are willing to eat greasy cheesys from McDonalds?
E: Hurt
Oh God, what the fuck? How could you eat that cheeseburger from McDonalds? Can’t you see how much anguish and sorrow it causes me to watch you stuff that disgusting in every way symbol of everything that is wrong with the world into your mouth and watch the grease drip down from your lips over your chins, one after another. At the very least it hurts my stomach; what with all the vomiting induced just by the thought of McDonalds cheeseburger consumption by the average overweight western society individual who has little concern for where the produce comes from, the conditions of those involved, the environmental ramifications of fast food production, the nippl… <rant maximum allowable length reached>
F: Anger
What the fuck?
You fuckin’ barstool
There is a maximum length for rants?
I didn’t know that; it makes me very angry, oh yes indeed
Fuckin McDonalds cheeseburgers
G: Ironically
What the fuck kind of a word is ironical; I guess it would have been too much to ask to have a decent name for ironical. It’s a stupid moronical word
*$$* This entire rant (and all sub-rants etc contained within) has not been endorsed by the wonderful people at the greatest corporation in the whole universe – McDonalds *$$*
mmm… Subway
Sunday 09/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the What the fuck? mug.