joseph blough's definitions

The Xactletes

A condition where your face looks exactly like your ass

Man, that guy is butt ugly. He has a case of the Xactletes!

by joseph blough December 25, 2019

EOTA

An acronym for "explosion of the ass". Simply put, it's when a volatile mix of food is consumed, resulting in a combination of explosive diarrhea and an extended loud and particularly smelly fart. Imagine eating a combination of hot wings, pizza and greasy cheeseburgers and the negative effects on the digestive tract. EOTAs can also result in the destruction of underwear, forcing one to go "commando" for the remainder of the day.

Jack went out with his buddies and treated himself to twenty sliders, onion rings and fries and frozen custard. Shortly thereafter he made a beeline to the toilet, where he had a nuclear EOTA that rendered the rest room uninhabitable for a week.

by joseph blough June 12, 2021

Starship Pooper

When you lay on your stomach and fire a crap out of your ass toward the sky.

Kirk was lying on his belly naked when he fired a Starship Pooper out his ass into outer space.

by joseph blough April 15, 2022

Craptropolis

A large city that was once beautiful and safe that is now decrepit, crime-infested and contracting in population. A typical example would be Detroit, once the fifth largest city in America and now isn't even in the top 25. A craptropolis has hundreds of abandoned buildings, gang-infested streets, murders, robberies, carjackings, to name a few.

Hey man, wanna go to Chicago this weekend for some baseball and deep-dish?

No way man! Chicago is a Craptropolis and I don't want to get shot in the head!

by joseph blough October 20, 2022

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

1) When you take a shit in a glass of soda pop.

2) An old Alka-Seltzer ad campaign.

Stan needed to take a crap badly, but there was no toilet nearby. He improvised with a bucket and 2-liter of Pepsi. He ended up with a Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.

by joseph blough February 25, 2022

Mount Feceuvious

When you take a massive shit so big it encompasses the entire toilet bowl, appearing like a mountain in the toilet.

Dave ate 40 Buffalo wings last night and ended up creating a Mount Feceuvious in the toilet the very next day.

by joseph blough October 12, 2022

transverse digestion

An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.

Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”

by joseph blough April 8, 2022