joseph blough's definitions

ASSdfghjkl

When someone sits on a computer keyboard and takes a shit on it.

Ryan decided to play a sick joke on Sal by crapping all over his open laptop. Sal saw what Ryan did and said “thanks for the ASSdfghjkl! Now clean it up and get the fuck out of here!”

by joseph blough December 31, 2022

What Can Brown Do For You?

1) an ill-fated ad campaign for UPS.

2) it can come out of your ass to make you feel less full.

My stomach was gurgling and I felt so bloated. So I asked myself “what can brown do for you?” and proceeded to the nearest toilet to take a huge shit.

by joseph blough March 31, 2022

Dubble Blubble

Bubble gum for your ass. Bubbles can be blown by sticking the gum up your ass and slowly farting, being careful not to let one rip too strongly. Popped dubble bubbles can be both sweet and smelly, with emphasis on the smelly.

Ernie purchased a Dubble Blubble at the candy store. He went out back and shoved it far up his anus and squished it around. Then he slowly flatulated, causing a brown and pink bubble to expand out of his asshole. When the blubble popped, it smelled like a weird combination of sugar and shit.

by joseph blough December 3, 2024

Starship Pooper

When you lay on your stomach and fire a crap out of your ass toward the sky.

Kirk was lying on his belly naked when he fired a Starship Pooper out his ass into outer space.

by joseph blough April 15, 2022

greenarrhia

green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables

Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.

by joseph blough April 27, 2014

rhinoceros ass

An odor so foul and disgusting it can cause one to vomit violently and destroy a city block.

Larry walked into the primate house at the zoo and exclaimed “it smells like rhinoceros ass in here!” He headed for the nearest garbage can where he proceeded to puke his guts out.

by joseph blough January 12, 2025

Ossweepay

An alternative pronunciation of “asswipe”. Taken from an old SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage, where a soon-to-be father is struggling to find a name for his newborn son, worrying that any name would be made fun of by his son’s peers. It is later revealed by a telegram delivery man at the door that the father’s name is “Asswipe Johnson”. Mr. Johnson promptly corrects him saying “that’s OSSWEEPAY!!!”

Knock at the door: “Telegram for Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson!”

Asswipe Johnson: “That’s Ossweepay!”

by joseph blough February 3, 2023