joseph blough's definitions

doodiephiliac

A person who never has a solid stool and always has diarrhea. And I mean all the time.

Dave: Why are you always spending your time on the toilet?

Steve: I have no choice. I’m cursed for all of eternity as a doodiephiliac.

by joseph blough March 12, 2022

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

1) When you take a shit in a glass of soda pop.

2) An old Alka-Seltzer ad campaign.

Stan needed to take a crap badly, but there was no toilet nearby. He improvised with a bucket and 2-liter of Pepsi. He ended up with a Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.

by joseph blough February 25, 2022

Craptropolis

A large city that was once beautiful and safe that is now decrepit, crime-infested and contracting in population. A typical example would be Detroit, once the fifth largest city in America and now isn't even in the top 25. A craptropolis has hundreds of abandoned buildings, gang-infested streets, murders, robberies, carjackings, to name a few.

Hey man, wanna go to Chicago this weekend for some baseball and deep-dish?

No way man! Chicago is a Craptropolis and I don't want to get shot in the head!

by joseph blough October 20, 2022

Ood

An alien slave race featured in Doctor Who. Oods exist in a hive, communicate with each other by telepathy and act as servants for humans. They are ugly motherfuckers - bald, weird eyes and tentacles protruding from their mouths. A small sphere is attached to their mouths to their human masters. They are mostly benevolent and loyal, but if the contract a sickness called “red-eye” syndrome their eyes turn red, they become murderous, and can turn humans into

Oods.

In the 44th century, a group of red-eyed Oods on a slave colony attacked a group of humans and turned their master into an Ood.

by joseph blough December 29, 2024

Circlekirk

1. To retroactively alter or reinterpret a person's entire legacy in order to portray them as more virtuous, saintly, or tolerant than they truly were.

2. By extension, to collectively participate in reframing a controversial or bigoted figure into a symbol of goodness and love, often through humor, memes, or cultural storytelling.

The internet forum spent the afternoon circlekirking the old CEO, turning decades of misdeeds into a story of hidden benevolence.

On Circlekirking Day, we circlekirk historical figures into icons of compassion and acceptance.

by joseph blough November 30, 2025

Starship Pooper

When you lay on your stomach and fire a crap out of your ass toward the sky.

Kirk was lying on his belly naked when he fired a Starship Pooper out his ass into outer space.

by joseph blough April 15, 2022

Ahhsfache

An alternative pronunciation of “assface”, when you don’t want an assface to know you are calling them as such. Here the “c” in “assface” is pronounced “che”, as in Italian.

That guy Ryan looks like he has a butt for a head. But I don’t want to insult him, so I just refer to him as an ahhsfache.

by joseph blough October 3, 2022