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joseph blough's definitions

Ossweepay

An alternative pronunciation of “asswipe”. Taken from an old SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage, where a soon-to-be father is struggling to find a name for his newborn son, worrying that any name would be made fun of by his son’s peers. It is later revealed by a telegram delivery man at the door that the father’s name is “Asswipe Johnson”. Mr. Johnson promptly corrects him saying “that’s OSSWEEPAY!!!”
Knock at the door: “Telegram for Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson!”

Asswipe Johnson: “That’s Ossweepay!”
by joseph blough February 3, 2023
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doodiephiliac

A person who never has a solid stool and always has diarrhea. And I mean all the time.
Dave: Why are you always spending your time on the toilet?

Steve: I have no choice. I’m cursed for all of eternity as a doodiephiliac.
by joseph blough March 12, 2022
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EOTA

An acronym for "explosion of the ass". Simply put, it's when a volatile mix of food is consumed, resulting in a combination of explosive diarrhea and an extended loud and particularly smelly fart. Imagine eating a combination of hot wings, pizza and greasy cheeseburgers and the negative effects on the digestive tract. EOTAs can also result in the destruction of underwear, forcing one to go "commando" for the remainder of the day.
Jack went out with his buddies and treated himself to twenty sliders, onion rings and fries and frozen custard. Shortly thereafter he made a beeline to the toilet, where he had a nuclear EOTA that rendered the rest room uninhabitable for a week.
by joseph blough June 12, 2021
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Rectal adventure

An act of climbing into the ass of a large person or animal, crawling through their digestive tract and eventually making their way out of the mouth.
Johnny started his rectal adventure when he inserted his head into the elephant’s butt and proceeded to crawl through a system of shit and acid until he was regurgitated out of the elephant’s mouth.
by joseph blough October 8, 2023
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Craptropolis

A large city that was once beautiful and safe that is now decrepit, crime-infested and contracting in population. A typical example would be Detroit, once the fifth largest city in America and now isn't even in the top 25. A craptropolis has hundreds of abandoned buildings, gang-infested streets, murders, robberies, carjackings, to name a few.
Hey man, wanna go to Chicago this weekend for some baseball and deep-dish?

No way man! Chicago is a Craptropolis and I don't want to get shot in the head!
by joseph blough October 20, 2022
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The Xactletes

A condition where your face looks exactly like your ass
Man, that guy is butt ugly. He has a case of the Xactletes!
by joseph blough December 25, 2019
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greenarrhia

green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables
Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.
by joseph blough April 27, 2014
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