joseph blough's definitions

Gastric Bypass

1) a bariatric surgery performed for rapid weight loss on severely obese people.

2) A bariatric surgical mishap where the surgeon mistakenly connects your esophagus to your ass and you end up shitting and farting out of your mouth.

Steve had gastric bypass surgery last year. He’s lost 200 pounds and looks great, except for the fact that he now has to stick his head in the toilet to poop.

by joseph blough July 6, 2023

See The Northern Lights

Lighting your farts on fire. Inspired by Terrance and Philip from the South Park movie.

Terrance: Want to see the Northern Lights?
Philip: (lights fart with match and is engulfed in flames).
Terrance: You burned yourself to death by lighting your farts! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

by joseph blough April 19, 2025

Cycraps

When you spread your ass cheeks for all the world to see and push out a turd part way so your ass looks like a cyclops with a big brown eye.

I felt a crap on deck so I decided to do a cycraps for my friends. They still have nightmares from it.

by joseph blough December 9, 2021

doodiephiliac

A person who never has a solid stool and always has diarrhea. And I mean all the time.

Dave: Why are you always spending your time on the toilet?

Steve: I have no choice. I’m cursed for all of eternity as a doodiephiliac.

by joseph blough March 12, 2022

gorpuscle

A bubble that comes out of your ass when you fart, which is not quite a shart but enough to give you the uncomfortable feeling of something wet in your ass. Gorpuscles can range from small and marginally moist to large, underwear-staining ass drip.

Paulie had to fart, but ended up blowing a rather large gorpuscle out of his butt. He made a beeline to the bathroom to wipe his ass.

by joseph blough October 26, 2022

EOTA

An acronym for "explosion of the ass". Simply put, it's when a volatile mix of food is consumed, resulting in a combination of explosive diarrhea and an extended loud and particularly smelly fart. Imagine eating a combination of hot wings, pizza and greasy cheeseburgers and the negative effects on the digestive tract. EOTAs can also result in the destruction of underwear, forcing one to go "commando" for the remainder of the day.

Jack went out with his buddies and treated himself to twenty sliders, onion rings and fries and frozen custard. Shortly thereafter he made a beeline to the toilet, where he had a nuclear EOTA that rendered the rest room uninhabitable for a week.

by joseph blough June 12, 2021

Ood

An alien slave race featured in Doctor Who. Oods exist in a hive, communicate with each other by telepathy and act as servants for humans. They are ugly motherfuckers - bald, weird eyes and tentacles protruding from their mouths. A small sphere is attached to their mouths to their human masters. They are mostly benevolent and loyal, but if the contract a sickness called “red-eye” syndrome their eyes turn red, they become murderous, and can turn humans into

Oods.

In the 44th century, a group of red-eyed Oods on a slave colony attacked a group of humans and turned their master into an Ood.

by joseph blough December 29, 2024