jonzo the weasel's definitions
A tv chanel that everybody loves to hate for "being corporate." It should be noted that those people are in shitty ass bands that would sell their souls to get on MTV and get a recording contract from a label that people actually care about. Features some of the worlds hottest chicks if you exclude that skanky washup britney spears and christina aguilewhateverthefuck. Imortalized by the line "I Want My MTV."
Nerd- I hate mtv, die die die.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.
Me- Dumbass, you just are bitter because a)your shitty band sucks so hard recording execs are afraid to touch it and b)the gorgeous girls on it remind you how sad your fat pimply pale "girl"friend is and coz 50 cent reminds u that u are asexually shaped? And if you don't like pop or blink182-i don't either-change the chanel or turn off the tv. geez, what a fuckwad.
by Jonzo the Weasel April 4, 2006
Get the MTVmug. The ultimate weapon when it comes to hand-to-hand combat. It can even be thrown like a tomohawk should your intended victim appear to be outrunning you. However, if there is a red taffic light nearby, simply smash the window of the first car, kill the guy inside it, drive up after the primary target, and while passing, swing the bat full-force at his head. A decapitation guaranteed
So you wanna be a hitman for fat Alfredo, skinny Lou? Awrighty, take out Stupid Gianni and Smelly Joe wit dis baseball bat
by Jonzo the Weasel January 22, 2006
Get the baseball batmug. A great frontman for legendary rock band Guns n' Roses. Thanks to his perfectionism and insufferable ego, he is the only member of the original band left in it. He also fucked the extremely hot Stephanie Seymour a bunch of times, though unfortunately for him his obnoxious personality messed that up too.
by Jonzo the Weasel June 11, 2006
Get the axl rosemug. A deadly threat to the nation. It was sent by unknown parties to assasinate George W. Bush. The attempt was nearly successful, but a bystander was cunning enough to employ the heimlich maneuvre, foiling the conspiracy. The said pretzel is now being held in maximum security in guantanamo bay as an enemy combatant.
by jonzo the weasel July 17, 2006
Get the Pretzelmug. Someone who, despite possessing physical characteristics and intellect of a nerd, has nicer personality, better hygeine, fewer enemies, and better grades because of their focus on school instead of the internet, sci-fi fan clubs, the lord of the rings, or matheletes. They rarely have close friends, but are respected by most and tend to be gennerally pleasant.
Bill Gates, Alan Greenspan, Warren Buffet, Albert Einstein, and this one kid in my biology class are all half nerds.
by Jonzo the Weasel January 10, 2006
Get the half nerdmug. A group of fucking liars who dragged John Kerry's name through the dirt on two false accusations:
1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?
2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
1: "John Kerry never did anything heroic in Vietnam"
Acatually, John Kerry jumped off his swiftboat during a firefight to rescue a crew member who had falled overboard. And why don't you tell me about W's heroism while AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard?
2: "John Kerry betrayed his country"
Oh yeah? Let me tell you this. Out of concern for the troops being killed in Vietnam, John Kerry joined Vietnam Vets Against the War. John Kerry saw his country making a mistake and said so. That is patriotism. The "my country right or wrong" attitude is ignorance on par with medeival peasants.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth sent out it's slanderous ads without the authorization of Bush? Bullshit.
by Jonzo the Weasel August 15, 2006
Get the swift boat veterans for truthmug. New Jersey-based glam metal band. They aren't the most adventurous musicians, but hey, neither were AC/DC, and they still sound good. One of the few bands made up of nice guys to be still called metal. Their lineup is basically the same after 20 years, there have been no arrests, no pyrotechnics disasters (see Metallica and Great White), no stadium riots (see Guns n' Roses), no trips to rehab (see Ozzy Osbourne), no car crashes that killed other rock stars (see Motley Crue). Also, for some reason I can't understand, I can't imagine them being from anywhere but New Jersey. All in all, a solid band with a good career. Unquestioned masters of the power ballad.
Axl Rose was definitely the better frontman than Jon Bon Jovi, but there's no question about which one I'd rather get hang out with.
by jonzo the weasel September 12, 2006
Get the Bon Jovimug.