22 definitions by jonesy

something that tells you the time. When it a form capable of being worn on the wrist, it can help prevent you from being late.
Hurry up and keep your eye on the watch; the world end's at 6:00 PM sharp.
by jonesy December 11, 2004
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The act of anal penetration or a person who enjoys said act.

A foolish, oafish individual.
"My woman doesn't appreciate when I try to corn haul her."

"That corn hauler wore my shoes home."
by jonesy March 21, 2003
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Crazy Scottish guy in the Austin Powers movies that weighs over a thousand pounds. He has fiery red hair not only on his face and head, but a whole frickin coat of red down his back. He loves eating and being a slob.
Fat Bastard is prone to farting a lot, and then making jokes about them, and even comparing the farts to different situations and things. Has played several roles in the Austin Powers Series; including a Scottish bagpipe player, basic assassin, UPS deliveryman, and a sumo wrestler.
Some Fat Bastard quotes:
-"Ya know what mah favorite Helen Hunt movie is? TWISTER!" (Picks sumo wrestler up with a titty twister)
-"Sorry, I fahted..."
-"I want mah baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs...........CHILLLLIIIIIIIII'S baby-back ribs!"
-Mistere English Kerenel, tryin ta tell me ta lose weight. Well, let me tell ya somethin, Sonny Jim; I ate a baby! Oh yeah, BABY: the other OTHER white meat! Baby: it's what's for Deener!"
-"Where's mah mo-ney?"
-Aiiieeee.......frisky are we?"
by jonesy March 24, 2005
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when a person is carrying an alcoholic beverage in both hands at the same time.
Hemish O'Maley was in Irish handcuffs last night at the pub. He always had a Guinness in each hand.
by jonesy June 23, 2004
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An ugly little teenage thug with dodgey ginger hair
"how man make az a rooley ginga"
by jonesy January 31, 2003
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The most overused "new" curse word.
The teenage punk rocker was calling people "fucktard" all day.
by jonesy December 16, 2004
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A total douchebag wanker who would have led to the ruination of the United States and even worse relations with us in the United Kingdom.
This loser has now become synonymous with that word: loser. He has a serious lack of morals, and I can obviously tell that he is NOT a Christian; the incorrect reading from the Bible was a dead give away, wouldn't you say? So, the Democrats in America represent and support the poor, do they? Then how do you explain Kerry being even richer than George Bush and being involved with the Heinz Corporation? Not to mention that numerous, Hollywood celebrities with more money than The Who will ever have also vote Democrat and condemn the Republican Party and the tens of millions of members and voters within it.
John Kerry=Loser. A wanker? Yes. A total hypocrite? No doubt!
by jonesy May 11, 2005
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