fauxbourdon's definitions

squarp

noun. The simultaneous co-occurrence of a sneeze, queef, fart, and burp. An admittedly rare event, but a theoretical possibility.

verb. To sneeze, queef, fart, and burp simultaneously.

Etymology: S(neeze) + QU(eef) + (f)AR(t) + (bur)P.

Ramona squarped so violently that I thought she would explode.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005

heefing

Present participle of heef.

"heef," noun: penile flatulence, i.e., air emitted from the penis through the urethra.

"heef," verb: to emit penile flatulence.

Synomyms: quofe, cockqueef, dick fart.

Etymology: "he" (male pronoun) + queef.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but ended up heefing at the same time, thereby splattering urine all over the bathroom.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

cock-queef

(also spelled cockqueef): a quofe or dick fart.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but let a bubbly cock-queef at the same time, thereby splattering urine all over the bathroom.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

dick fart

noun: Penile flatulence (air or gas escaping from the penis through the urethra), a.k.a. a quofe (also spelled quof or quoaf).

NOTE: Dick farts or quofes are a rare phenomenon compared to queefs because it is much harder for air to become stuck in a man's urethra than in a woman's comparatively larger vagina. Quofes occur most frequently after a catheter has been inserted into the penis and removed, leaving air trapped in the bladder or urethra.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but ended up letting a dick fart at the same time and splattering urine everywhere.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

cooch turd

noun. Fecal matter excreted through the vagina. This is generally caused by the presence of a recto-vaginal fistula (a small tear in the tissue separating the rectum from the vaginal canal).

synonym: queefshit.

With no bathroom in sight, Brenda clenched her ass shut tightly, but much to her chagrin, her shit passed through her fistula and plopped out her pussy as a cooch turd.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005

vajaculate

(verb): To female ejaculate, i.e., to shoot liquid from one's vagina during orgasm. (This phenomenon occurs in a minority of women.)

See also: vajaculation, n.

Etymology: vaj (short for vagina) + ejaculate.

Watch out if you go down on Jessica -- she's liable to vajaculate in your face when she comes.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

bakery

A woman's vagina, especially during a vaginal yeast infection. (So called because of yeast's role in baking bread.)

Synonym: breadbox.
Related term: yeef.

Jeanette's cooch was so rank and yeasty, it smelled like a fucking bakery down there.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005