fauxbourdon's definitions

squarp

noun. The simultaneous co-occurrence of a sneeze, queef, fart, and burp. An admittedly rare event, but a theoretical possibility.

verb. To sneeze, queef, fart, and burp simultaneously.

Etymology: S(neeze) + QU(eef) + (f)AR(t) + (bur)P.

Ramona squarped so violently that I thought she would explode.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005

heefing

Present participle of heef.

"heef," noun: penile flatulence, i.e., air emitted from the penis through the urethra.

"heef," verb: to emit penile flatulence.

Synomyms: quofe, cockqueef, dick fart.

Etymology: "he" (male pronoun) + queef.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but ended up heefing at the same time, thereby splattering urine all over the bathroom.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

vackwash

noun: urine emitted from a woman's urethra, which rather than successfully reaching the toilet, instead trickles downward and enters that woman's own vagina (usually by accident).

verb: to get urine in one's own vagina while urinating (usually by accident).

Etymology: contraction of "vaginal backwash".

Connie tried to piss lying down, but the last few drops didn't go far enough and vackwashed into her pussy.

Make sure to douche after vackwashing or you'll get a yeast infection.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

fidouchiary duty

(noun): the moral or ethical duty a woman owes to her significant other to keep her vagina clean and in an appetizing and wholesome condition.

etymology: hybridization of "fiduciary duty", i.e. "the legal duty of one to act in the best interests of another in certain settings", and "douche".

Guy 1: "Brenda's vadge was nasty last night!"

Guy 2: "You should ditch the bitch, man. She violated her fidouchiary duty."

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

vajaculation

(noun): The act or phenomenon of female ejaculation, i.e., the forceful expulsion of liquid from one's vagina during orgasm. (This phenomenon occurs in a minority of women.)

See also: vajaculate, v.

Etymology: vaj (short for vagina) + ejaculation.

I never used to believe in vajaculation, but next time I go down on Amy, I'll be sure to wear goggles.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

cock-queef

(also spelled cockqueef): a quofe or dick fart.

After Reginald's catheter was removed, he tried to take a piss, but let a bubbly cock-queef at the same time, thereby splattering urine all over the bathroom.

by fauxbourdon December 28, 2005

cooch turd

noun. Fecal matter excreted through the vagina. This is generally caused by the presence of a recto-vaginal fistula (a small tear in the tissue separating the rectum from the vaginal canal).

synonym: queefshit.

With no bathroom in sight, Brenda clenched her ass shut tightly, but much to her chagrin, her shit passed through her fistula and plopped out her pussy as a cooch turd.

by fauxbourdon December 4, 2005