david smith, jr.'s definitions

Armond White

Annoying hack of a film critic that gives bad reviews to good films and good reviews to bad films, with the reviews being pretentious and nonsensical. On Rotten Tomatoes, he has only agreed with the Tomatometer 51% of the time! Everyone knows, however, that he only does this for attention since his reviews are always the most discussed.

Here's a list of films he hates:

Up (97%)
The Dark Knight (94%)
The Hangover (78%)
Star Trek (95%)
Watchmen (64%, I don't care if it's low, it's still one of my favorite movies)
WALL-E (96%)
The Wrestler (98%)
Benjamin Button (73%)
Gran Torino (80%)
Slumdog Millionaire (94%)
Burn After Reading (78%)
Hellboy 2 (88%)
Iron Man (93%)

Compared to movies he "likes":

Transformers 2 (20%)
Land of the Lost (28%)
Dance Flick (27%)
Confessions of a Shopaholic (23%)
Bedtime Stories (23%)
Transporter 3 (38%)
What Happens in Vegas (27%)
Chuck & Larry (13%, he called it a "modern classic")

So yeah, White is an attention-seeking idiot.

Isn't it weird that he's a black man who's last name is White and he likes bad movies and hates good movies?

Armond White is just an idiot.

by david smith, jr. July 2, 2009

chuck norris

The subject of some of the most unfunny and annoying jokes known to man.

Chuck Norris facts are as unfunny and annoying than Carlos Mencia jokes.

by david smith, jr. February 24, 2008

Tax

Theft.

If I put a gun to someone's head for not giving me money I go to jail. So why is it okay for the government is throw me in jail for refusing to pay taxes?

by david smith, jr. July 3, 2009

The Dark Knight

A masterpiece. All that is needed to be said.

It doesn't matter if you're not a Batman fan, or a comic book fan for that matter. This is one of those movies that everyone must view at least once in their lifetime. The Dark Knight is the Citizen Kane and Godfather of this generation.

by david smith, jr. July 30, 2008

new york giants

winners of super bowl xlii*

*manning conspiracy

i find it very convinient that for the second year in a row, a manning has beaten the patriots and we all know the mannings hate the patriots and how big of endorsement whores they are. hmmm...

and i'm a cowboys fan. well, there's bias against the new york giants because of that. but that's not the point.

oh, and eli still sucks you fucking morons.

by david smith, jr. February 19, 2008

harry truman

One of the worst presidents in the history of the United States of America.

Harry Truman helped create the Central Intelligence Agency, got us in the Korean War, helped create and get us in the United Nations, helped create the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and gave us our shitty modern foreign policy. His administration was notoriously corrupt and he was widely hated throughout America. From most historians logic, George W. Bush will most likely be labeled as a "great" president in fifty or whatever years.

by david smith, jr. February 1, 2008

dennis kucinich

An overrated and hypocritical socialist.

Dennis Kucinich claims that we shouldn't "play God and kill others" as his reason for his opposition to capital punishment, yet he is for abortion. So let me get this straight, it's perfectly fine to kill the innocent, but don't you dare try to punish the guilty. Now, I'm not for the death penalty (it's expensive, the innocent are sometimes killed and I'd rather die than go to prison), but Kucinich's reason is borderline absurd. He also supports gun control (which is an idiotic concept to begin with and is a direct violation of the second amendment). How exactly is he good again?

by david smith, jr. February 5, 2008