Spectacles so highly sophisticated they are totally invisible to all but the wearer. Upon putting these on you fall in love with the first wide-mouthed woman you see, and you will then fall completely under the spell of the current president of the US of A. The rest, as they say, will become history.
Blair "Oh dear, the country is going to pot and look what I married"
Bush "Don't worry Tony, just put ya Blair goggles back on, I wanna ask ya'll a little favour......."
Bush "Don't worry Tony, just put ya Blair goggles back on, I wanna ask ya'll a little favour......."
by clairem April 01, 2007
Talentless former Spice Bint (Piss) who resembles a toothpick with an OVER-inflated chest. Now desperately clinging on to anything/anybody that will keep her in the news, she has decided to grace America with her pouting presence. Married to the equally dim-but-loaded David Beckham.
"David, I need to lose weight because my shadow's looking a bit fat"
"What, Victoria Beckham's developed a shadow, get your coat we need to get you to the hospital"
"But why"
"I'm not being seen with a tubby wife, there's only one thing left to make you lose weight"
"What's that David"?
"Amputation"
"What, Victoria Beckham's developed a shadow, get your coat we need to get you to the hospital"
"But why"
"I'm not being seen with a tubby wife, there's only one thing left to make you lose weight"
"What's that David"?
"Amputation"
by clairem April 02, 2007
Sarah Jessica Parker recently won an award and she thanked everyone including family, friends and her lawyer(?) before bursting into floods of tears, boo-hoo. She has a horse face, which would be ok (on a horse), but then there is the mole, big, juicy, throbbing and sweaty, it isn't attached to her - she is attached to IT........
by clairem May 30, 2007
When was the last time you saw ANY evidence of US intelligence - George Bush, Britney Spears, Monica Lewinsky? I rest my case.
by clairem April 15, 2007
"oh, my life is soooooo bad. I'm sharon osbourne and I'm super-rich and have a gorgeous house that my dogs have shat all up and my husband can't walk/talk/see/piss straight. My daughter's in/out rehab and my son's the same and my boob job was too big 'cos I can't see my feet.....of course I'll accept the Mum of the Year award, gotta keep the bank topped up after all..."
by clairem May 04, 2007
The non-stop irritating voice emitted by a Sat Nav system when you have not gone the way IT wants you to go.
Driver "I know a quicker way, it's just down here"
Sat Nag "turn around, wrong way, don't go this way, you are wrong, I am right, turn around, cannot compute, turn around, wrong way, I am in charge, no, turn left at next junction, I make the decisions, you are wrong, I am the machine - you are merely the human, wrong way, you have errored, don't even think of switching me off, you'll get us lost if you don't turn around, wrong way, I'll drain your battery if you don't turn back......."
Sat Nag "turn around, wrong way, don't go this way, you are wrong, I am right, turn around, cannot compute, turn around, wrong way, I am in charge, no, turn left at next junction, I make the decisions, you are wrong, I am the machine - you are merely the human, wrong way, you have errored, don't even think of switching me off, you'll get us lost if you don't turn around, wrong way, I'll drain your battery if you don't turn back......."
by clairem June 20, 2007
5 talentless marketing gimps whose pathetic attempts to 'sing' had to be tweaked up to the eyeballs to MAKE them sound in tune. Made their millions by being marketed to such an extent it even enabled them to squeeze every last penny of pocket-money out of small children who bought their completely shite, and now worthless, merchandise.
Hey Spice Girls, where's your Girl Power now?
Posh: Chain-smoking twig who's desperately clinging to her cheating husband, dropped by record company
Sporty: No marriage, no kids, dropped by record company
Baby: Pregnant to on/off boyfriend, dropped by record company
Scary: 2 kids by 2 men (paternity case due), dropped by record company
Ginger: Kid by fella she dumped, dropped by record company
Never mind, you've still go all that money from all those little kids that believed in you.......
Posh: Chain-smoking twig who's desperately clinging to her cheating husband, dropped by record company
Sporty: No marriage, no kids, dropped by record company
Baby: Pregnant to on/off boyfriend, dropped by record company
Scary: 2 kids by 2 men (paternity case due), dropped by record company
Ginger: Kid by fella she dumped, dropped by record company
Never mind, you've still go all that money from all those little kids that believed in you.......
by clairem April 04, 2007