Definitions by Yopmail User

Santa

A morbidly obese child molester who lives in the North Pole and, depending on how attractive he finds you, will either put you on his naughty or nice list. The naughty list is for sexually promiscuous kids and adults who will be fucked by Santa Claus on Christmas, and since he deems them more attractive, he will barge in unannounced and violently rape everyone around him. The nice list, on the other hand, is reserved for sexual illiterates, abstainers, and other children. Since Santa deems these people less attractive, he will simply date rape them by spiking their Christmas treats with sedatives. He also watches everything you do at all times. That includes your showering and masturbation sessions. Whichever list you're put on depends on whether or not Santa thinks your body is attractive. Thus, he will make comments on your body parts (especially your ass and genitals) and record it so he can decide on whether or not you're worth fucking (naughty for attractive, nice for less attractive). He also visits malls regularly during the holiday season so that he can trick children into sitting on his lap, which allows him to grope their asses when they least expect it (or boobs, if they're available). Somehow, the FBI is okay with this.

Jill thought he'd bring her a copy of Disaster Movie, but Santa instead raped her and her son! I gotta call the cops!

Santa by Yopmail User August 22, 2022

pleasing the plumbers

Pleasing the plumbers occurs when one's sexual attraction to someone else drives them to fuck their crushes by any means necessary. Pleasing the plumbers can include but is not limited to stalking/cyberstalking, sexting, making comments on body parts, voyeurism, and asking for sexual favors. Pleasers of plumbers will ignore their crushes' discomfort and relentlessly seek the opportunity to fuck them. Thus, consent is not an issue.

Hitler's been sexually harassing that little girl, even after she told him to stop! He must be pleasing the plumbers!

pleasing the plumbers by Yopmail User August 22, 2022

Urban Dictionary 

The most arousing sex act known to man. It must be performed on a girl and is a combination of any number of sex acts featured on this very website. Thus, there are no limits to performing the Urban Dictionary on a girl. That means you and the girl can perform any sex act as long as it's featured on Urban Dictionary. While you perform this sex act, however, we recommend you coin your own sexual definitions for the best experience.

Mr. and Mrs. Rape had to be hospitalized after performing the Urban Dictionary in a school building.

Urban Dictionary by Yopmail User August 21, 2022

Nonexistent 

Your brain, talent, and love life. Need I say more?

Did you seriously just look up "nonexistent" on Urban Dictionary? You fucking retard.

Nonexistent by Yopmail User August 16, 2022

Nobody 

You. End of story.

The fact that you just looked up what "nobody" means tells me you are the dumbest nobody who has ever lived.

Nobody by Yopmail User August 16, 2022

Sesame Street 

While dressed up as Elmo, you slice someone's dick off while the both of you are masturbating and carry the severed dick to a preschool. Make sure you have a woman with you. In the preschool, you enter a classroom, interview the youngest child, and ask them vaguely sexual questions while keeping the severed dick a secret. When the child least expects it, you strip the woman naked, shove the severed dick in the woman's mouth in front of the child (and everyone else, for that matter), and use the blood from the severed penis to draw a dick on her boobs. You must then throw the severed dick in the teacher's mouth, assume control of her laptop, and play snuff films on the smartboard.

This definition of Sesame Street was sponsored by the letter D!

Sesame Street by Yopmail User August 14, 2022

Tomino's Hell 

A Japanese poem centered around the titular character, his anguish, and his "journey" in Hell. Retards say that if you read the poem out loud, "tRaGiC tHiNgS wIlL hApPeN!!1!1!1!!" Bullshit! I never knew saying a bunch of words out loud could give you cancer. Why the fuck is Tomino in hell in the first place? Did he read this very poem out loud? I don't know and I don't care.

Tomino's Hell
By Saijo Yaso

His older sister vomited cum, his younger sister vomited condoms,
And the cute Tomino ejaculated used dildos.
Tomino jacked off in Hell alone,
Hell is wrapped in penises and even the boners don't grow.

Is the person being raped Tomino's older sister,
I wonder whose cum is on it?
Fap, fap, without fapping,
Infinite Hell's big dick.

Would you rape him in the dark Hell,
With the sheep of cum, and the kid diddler.
Stuff as much as you can into his ballsack,
For the preparation of your sex life in the familiar Hell.

Kids are cumming even in the forest and stream,
Even in the seven cum-filled streams of the dark Hell.
The kid diddler raping children, the sheep banging prostitutes,

Cum from the dick of the cute Tomino.

Moan, kid diddler, towards the cum-filled forest
He shouts that he wants to rape his little sister.
The inglorious orgasm reverberates throughout Hell,
The fox penoy cums.

Jizzing all over Hell's seven mountains and seven streams,
The glorious sex life of cute Tomino.
If they're in Hell, fuck them for me,

The fleshlight of the graves.

I will fap with the red fleshlight,

In the mouth of little Tomino.

Tomino's Hell by Yopmail User July 26, 2022