Definitions by YAWA

tennis fluffer 

A tennis hitting partner; someone who helps in preparation for the 'big match'.

I'm heading to the US Open. I think my odds are great and my tennis fluffer is just fantastic...

tennis fluffer by YAWA January 31, 2020

parking lot tour 

The unplanned, isle-by-isle search required to locate a misplaced vehicle; usually a consequence of concurrent texting, cell phone conversation or other multi-tasking distraction.

WTF! I've lost my shit fer real this time...took me a 20 minute parking lot tour to find the damn car!

parking lot tour by YAWA January 26, 2020

brain breaker 

Something so inconceivably fucked-up that it causes actual mental damage.

OK, who can't understand that a NY TV reality show personality WOULDN'T solicit a foreign country for election assistance?
That would be a brain breaker...

brain breaker by YAWA January 25, 2020

fear the car 

The tendency for newer model 'intelligent' vehicles to, with increasing regularity and without warning, suddenly commandeer control away from the input of otherwise experienced, competent motorists.

So I'm backing out of the driveway. Ain't nuthin' behind us besides a fire hydrant and a garbage can. What does the 'smart car' do? Lock 'em fuckin' up! Spilled my drink all across my lap... bitch!

Fear the car...

fear the car by YAWA January 25, 2020

headless math 

The inability to quickly or accurately solve algebraic expressions using exclusively mental fortitude.

... and then the teacher says, 'take the square of 15, multiply that by 12.5, add 35 and then perform express the result as a factorial'.
I just told 'dat bitch ' you gotta give me some 'headless math' some paper and at least 1 pencil...

headless math by YAWA January 25, 2020

syncopate 

The rather difficult process of creating and maintaining distinctly different rhythmic assignments for each hand; relevant to most musical instruments, but in particular to the piano.

can't syncopate that shit...ties my fingers up in fuckin' knots bro!

syncopate by YAWA January 22, 2020

weaponized IP 

The strategic sniping of intellectual property, patents, trademarks and the like--for the sole purpose of extorting desirable future business interests.

Ok, so MicroSoft, Apple and SpaceX trademarks have expired...guess who just weaponized IP! CHA-CHING!

weaponized IP by YAWA January 22, 2020