Definitions by Uncle Joosie

Alleagues 

accidental mashup of "allies" and "colleagues" from dopey Qpublicans trying to sound smart

Lauren "Qbert" Boebert had a visit with Fixed Noise and said "my Alleagues in congress will come around" to our radical policies nobody likes. after that verbal diarrhea, Qbert went and did a live hit on OANN.

Alleagues by Uncle Joosie January 9, 2023

Flaking the Chain 

masturbating on a boat

"Flaking the chain" is usually a term yachties use for making sure a boat's anchor chain doesn't get tangled when pulled up inside the vessel... but it's ALSO slang for when dudes working on yachts bust a nut in confined staff cabins, usually a quickie and in secret when the bunkmate is away.

Flaking the Chain by Uncle Joosie January 7, 2023

Asked to be remembered to her

formal Southern for "tell her I said hey"

New Yorker Lorna overheard her mother, a native southern belle, finishing up a phone call with a gal pal in Virginia. "oh well it's just lovely to have spoken today, Bobby-Jo. please tell your mother that I asked to be remembered to her!!" Lorna, having heard that salutation, fell on the floor laughing. "Ma! that's the funniest thing I've ever heard omfg! why didn't you just say 'tell her I said hey'?? I am now deceased and it will now be a running joke because imma tell all my pals and even abbreviate to ATBRTH"

Asked to be remembered to her by Uncle Joosie January 7, 2023

Filter Loon 

folk who rely on enhancement apps to make themselves look pretty

Charles was scrolling Facebook the other day and stumbled on Bob's new profile picture, which looked absolutely nothing like him. "What the F is that and who am I looking at?" Charles exclaimed. "Bobby is totally unrecognizable and a little bit nuts. IRL he looks like a high-school janitor but on Facebook he's a supermodel! Bob is definitely a Filter Loon." Charles logged off and went for a walk.

Filter Loon by Uncle Joosie January 2, 2023

Chuck Todd Derangement Syndrome (CTDS) 

Fully justified wave-of-fury affecting ALL "Meet the Press" viewers

Carl had seen "Meet the Press" one too many times. "why am I even allowing my DVR to tape this fucking garbage? Chuck Todd is a disgrace and obviously a mouthpiece for disgraced Qpublicans. what a fucking choad!" Carl exclaimed as he chucked his beer stein against the wall. poor Carl had Chuck Todd Derangement Syndrome (CTDS), so he decided to start a support group in his area.

Chuck Todd Derangement Syndrome (CTDS) by Uncle Joosie December 23, 2022

Denturementia 

experiencing denture slip and dementia simultaneously

when fucking-mobster fuckface donald trump held a recent fucking klan rally he had acute bout with Denturementia while attacking trans men and women. “they teach the transgender in thscools now. also, Antifa mostly such as” as his hillbilly Red Hats cheered.

Denturementia by Uncle Joosie October 11, 2022

Sportwashing 

Murderous regimes whose reputations get laundered by pro-sport leagues

In 1936, Berlin Olympic Games engaged in Sportwashing of Nazi atrocities during Holocaust. In 2022, the PGA Tour is actively Sportwashing Kingdom of Saudi Arabia by collaborating on lucrative-golf events at The Former Guy's shithole in Bedminster. famed golfer Greg Norman, in another bit of Sportwashing, called brutal-bonesaw murder of Jamal Khashoggi a "mistake."

Sportwashing by Uncle Joosie September 25, 2022