Uncle Joosie's definitions

Relaxxinated

vaxxed & relaxed

Carla was excited to have a super-chill maskless drinks party with her gal pals after getting vaccinated. When Suzette arrived at her apartment she was positively joyous. "GIRL. we been cooped up for a damn year and, after getting vaccinated, I'm ready to relax and catch up." Carla replied, equally happy, "honey you're Relaxxinated and ready to go! I got you!"

by Uncle Joosie May 23, 2021

Pulled a Marco

when criminal-GOP politicians tweet performative-bible verses to distract from scandal

Lyle was scrolling Twitter yesterday and saw Kelly Loeffler's "direct hearts to god" bible nonsense and got sick to his stomach. "my god these depraved assholes" he said aloud. "she Pulled a Marco and tweeted bible bullcrap to distract from insider trading and posing with a KKK wizard, I can't."

by Uncle Joosie December 14, 2020

Normalizing Thesaurus

Corporate Media resource to describe donald trump's treasonous actions with bland terms

The New York Times reported on donald trump's speech at Mt. Rushmore as "ominous," which is a word journalists found in their Normalizing Thesaurus. "ugh, those fucking guys" Carl exclaimed after reading his morning paper

by Uncle Joosie July 6, 2020

Excuse Spaghetti

feeble attempts to explain away SignalGate scandal

Mike Waltz appeared on Laura Ingraham's White Power Hour on Fixed Noise to toss Excuse Spaghetti on the wall to see what stuck. Waltz, dancing as fast as he could, suggested that Atlantic publisher Jeff Goldberg "infiltrated" the Signal chat rather than being added to it—even though receipts show the latter to be the stone-cold truth.

by Uncle Joosie March 27, 2025

Curvy Couch Tumors

Fox & Friends morning anchors

just prior to airtime Barbie-sue, Skeeter-Larry and Carl walked on-set, assumed their position as Fox so-called News' Curvy Couch Tumors and took a call from ranting lunatic Donald Trump.

by Uncle Joosie January 2, 2019

Qpublicans

former "Grand Old Party" people who transformed into violent seditious conspiracy nutbags

In a closed-door caucus meeting Qpublicans gave Marjorie Taylor Greene a standing ovation because lunatic-fictional QAnon conspiracies about eating babies and Jewish space lasers are absolutely fine with assholes formerly known as republicans.

by Uncle Joosie February 4, 2021

Stretch & Shake

A body reset for a dog.

When Brady the lab got up from sleeping he did a stretch & shake to wake himself up.

by Uncle Joosie May 20, 2018