Appearing on CBS News, Cruella de Puppykiller Kristi Noem once again tried to explain away how she murdered puppy Cricket in a gravel pit—then went on to suggest she'd probably shoot Commander, President Biden's dog. Referring to the dog as "it" just completed the picture of her violent pathology. Everyone should keep their furry children away from that psychopath.
by Uncle Joosie May 06, 2024
Science researcher Tyler woke up one morning, popped open his laptop and started reading more headlines about global climate emergency and how massive storms will become more deadly. "We keep burning fossil fuel like it's just everyday fucking life," Tyler thought. "Meanwhile these Petroligarchs keep buying politicians and lobby for more oil wells in sensitive ocean areas when we should be changing over to clean energy right fucking now." Tyler switched browser tab to Greenpeace.com and felt better.
by Uncle Joosie October 01, 2021
those annoying fucksticks who use gas-powered blowers that pollute the planet and annoy TF outta everyone with noise disruption
Clyde was reading in his sunroom on a quiet Saturday when all of a sudden he heard the thunderous din of leaf-blower mafia blowing debris from his neighbors yard. the blow-and-go crew started at 7 a.m. and really got under Clyde's skin. "fucking hell, when are we gonna invent a quiet, electric version of the leaf blowers? these goddamned machines are annoying and terrible for the planet." Clyde put his earbuds in and kept reading.
by Uncle Joosie August 10, 2023
During TFG aka The Former Guy's regime, demure and meek Jared Kushner received illegal security clearance and committed like hundreds of felonies. When Carla saw him saunter out the White House for the last time, she exclaimed "bye, Gender-lazy Polliwog, ya little cunt. now run along and wait until you're indicted"
by Uncle Joosie April 09, 2022
Lyle was scrolling Twitter yesterday and saw Kelly Loeffler's "direct hearts to god" bible nonsense and got sick to his stomach. "my god these depraved assholes" he said aloud. "she Pulled a Marco and tweeted bible bullcrap to distract from insider trading and posing with a KKK wizard, I can't."
by Uncle Joosie December 14, 2020
agreeing in drag
Sasha Colby was dishing on Anetra’s dress with Lux Noir London and said “that custom dress with crystals was fierce.” Lux replied “Boots!”
by Uncle Joosie December 24, 2024
When babies, dogs, kids or other people are so cute, and it becomes so aggravating, that you just want to squeeze them until their eyeballs pop out.
Karla bumped in to old-friend Susie on the street, with her three-month-old, Emmett, decked out in a sailor suit, giggling endlessly. "He is so adorable in that get-up that I just want to slap him," Karla remarked to Susie, who quickly explained that she was suffering from Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS). Susie took Emmett and kept walking down the street.
by Uncle Joosie April 17, 2014