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The Grottomaster's definitions

Fucking Retrospect

A reflection upon happier times, prior to the days of one's inability to have sex.
I was happily daydreaming about my youth, engaging in Fucking Retrospect.
by The Grottomaster August 22, 2011
mugGet the Fucking Retrospectmug.

Government

A huge aggregation of incredibly evil people who come together daily to effect harm upon the rest of us.
My taxes have increased for a third time over the past year --the Government has screwed me again!
by The Grottomaster August 14, 2011
mugGet the Governmentmug.

laced mutton

A vain, ignorant, and superficial middle-aged woman who unsuccessfully attempts to make herself look youthful by caking on make-up and by wearing the trendy clothing of college-aged females. This phrase is actually an older popular characterization which one occasionally encounters in classic literature and especially in Golden Age British mysteries.
Check out that noxious old heifer -- laced mutton of The First Water.
by The Grottomaster November 27, 2011
mugGet the laced muttonmug.

unmasturbate

The secret process sought by all boys of puberty age after they discover that their eyes are going to cross, that they have given themselves venereal disease, and all the other various horror myths which adult men tell them about masturbation.
Buddy has been asking all his uncles on the sly how to unmasturbate because his crotch has suddenly begun to itch and he thinks he's given himself the clap.
by The Grottomaster June 29, 2011
mugGet the unmasturbatemug.

Carbon cockprint

The artistic product of the male pervert who climbs atop the photocopy machine naked, presses his genitals to the glass, and pushes the print button.
As the glass was clean on the photocopy machine last evening, and as it is smudged with crotch-cheese this morning, I suspect that the janitor was making Carbon cockprints all night.
by The Grottomaster May 13, 2011
mugGet the Carbon cockprintmug.

stumpmaster

A farm kid or sheepherder who has been generally unlucky with human females.
That young stumpmaster got caught with his pecker in a Blackhead Persian in his back pasture last week.
by The Grottomaster June 7, 2011
mugGet the stumpmastermug.

slunger

An Appalachian noun describing either a fish of very large dimension or an unusually large pecker, (on either an animal or a human.) The 'g' has a soft pronunciation, like a 'j-sound'.
Man I dragged that catfish into the boat and it was a fuckin' slunger!
by The Grottomaster June 7, 2011
mugGet the slungermug.

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