meatox

An affliction, chiefly of the skin, where one breaks out in body sores which seep with pus subsequent to eating exclusively at McDonald's for a month or more. A secondary symptom is uncontrollable diarrhea coupled with spontaneous projectile vomiting. When such people habitually take home leftovers and feed them to their dogs, it often results in *yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye." There is no known cure for this ailment.
He found a breaded and fried chicken head in his McNuggets and stopped eating there but it was too late -- he had already developed meatox.
by The Grottomaster October 26, 2011
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cold finger

Metaphor for the medical exam administered for prostate cancer.
I'm going in for the cold finger today -- I hope the doctor has small hands.
by The Grottomaster May 20, 2011
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Carbon cockprint

The artistic product of the male pervert who climbs atop the photocopy machine naked, presses his genitals to the glass, and pushes the print button.
As the glass was clean on the photocopy machine last evening, and as it is smudged with crotch-cheese this morning, I suspect that the janitor was making Carbon cockprints all night.
by The Grottomaster May 13, 2011
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stumpmaster

A farm kid or sheepherder who has been generally unlucky with human females.
That young stumpmaster got caught with his pecker in a Blackhead Persian in his back pasture last week.
by The Grottomaster June 07, 2011
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unmasturbate

The secret process sought by all boys of puberty age after they discover that their eyes are going to cross, that they have given themselves venereal disease, and all the other various horror myths which adult men tell them about masturbation.
Buddy has been asking all his uncles on the sly how to unmasturbate because his crotch has suddenly begun to itch and he thinks he's given himself the clap.
by The Grottomaster June 29, 2011
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laced mutton

A vain, ignorant, and superficial middle-aged woman who unsuccessfully attempts to make herself look youthful by caking on make-up and by wearing the trendy clothing of college-aged females. This phrase is actually an older popular characterization which one occasionally encounters in classic literature and especially in Golden Age British mysteries.
Check out that noxious old heifer -- laced mutton of The First Water.
by The Grottomaster November 27, 2011
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Left Behind Republican Party

The remnants of the Republican Party, left in tatters, subsequent to the so-called Tea Party Movement manifestation. The Left Behind Republican Party is constituted of the leftovers, the politicians who were simply too single-minded and too corrupt to change over. As a result, there are now TWO Republican Parties. The Left Behind facet is a double entendre allusion to the popular book and film series, Left Behind, which focuses on the Christian Fundamentalist doctrine of "The Rapture".
The Left Behind Republican Party will certainly not earn Mitt Romney's endorsement since he believes in Women's Rights, or at least says that he does.
by The Grottomaster September 13, 2012
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