Smart American Male's definitions

Hayden Panettiere

A goddess of the creatures of the sea with an outgoing and friendly personality. She takes the form of an extremely attractive human who happens to be one of America's most successful movie actresses. She was a cheerleader during her years in school and has acted in many roles of cheerleaders in movies, but her most notable role is Claire Bennet from Heroes, where one of her unnecessary powers, regeneration, is put to use. The reason she has chosen the form of an attractive human is to draw the attention to build support to help keep alive her two groups of cohorts called the "Whales" and the "Dolphins", whether it's acting out as the spokesman for the Whaleman Foundation, making bold attempts to save fellow comrades from getting slaughtered personally, known as "Saving The World", or reaching out to her fans via the internet. Hayden is also a singer/songwriter, and her human boyfriend is Milo Ventimiglia, who also plays a character on Heroes.

Girl: My report is on Hayden Panettiere.
Boy: Who the hell's that?
Girl: Oh, she's an actress known as the "Cheerleader who wants to Save the World."
Boy: Pfft. Cheerleaders? Boring. Why not do one on Britney Spears?
Girl: ...Are you kidding me?! God I bet is laughing at you right now.

by Smart American Male June 3, 2008

Sportscenter

A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programs listed in order and the length of the episodes vary:

Yankee Country
Manny Knows Best
The Favre Saga
The Misadventures of T.O.
Lebrontourage
The Red Sox Chronicles (or sometimes a rerun of Yankee Country)

repeat the cycle until 2PM EST.

And check this, they leave women doing the morning shift.

ESPN anchor: And still to come, we take a trip to Ben Roethlisberger's natural habitat at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Later, a rapper comes on stage! What the fuck does this have to do with sports? Who knows?! Don't tell us how to do our business, bitch! It's nawmally good!
Viewer: Man, even Sportscenter could use an offseason.

by Smart American Male April 29, 2009

graham cracker

An old person who tries to act cool.

Kid: Hey! Get a load of the graham cracker! Ahaha!
Man: Is that a geezer on a skateboard?!
Old Man: LOOGAME! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Kid & Man together: A 360 Varial McTwist?!

by Smart American Male October 18, 2006

thud

a unit a weight for fat, heavy, obese women

Look at that women! She must weigh like 300 thuds or something like that!

by Smart American Male May 3, 2006

Hollywood Undead

The codename for a weapon of mass destruction. Used by the military to play to terrorists until they kill themselves. Made up of 6 band members to make one of the biggest mind-numbing, time-wasting, money-draining, soul-sucking stupidities in the music industry. Up there with the likes of other posers such as the Jonas Brothers, teaching little kids how to grow up to be obnoxious white stoner trash with no futures trying to make a living in southern California with the attitudes they have. If they wouldn't be worried about "fags" who hate their music, then why the hell would they actually sing/rap/whine about it in their songs? They threaten to "kill" (AKA "tickle" in their lingo) any "motherfuckers" and "punks" for anyone who hates their music as they mention four times in EACH of their songs. You think that actually makes great music, you've been smoking reefer.

Normal behavior when listening to Hollywood Undead:

Clown wearing mask: "White babies with tattoos, we are drooling right on you
we are breaking everything, r-rowdy like a classroom"
Smart teenagers: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My poor little brain! NOOOOOOO! *grunts and struggles to click "pause"* Phew...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! I'm calling my lawyer!

by Smart American Male November 22, 2009

meatwallet

A burly man who doesn't really know that he's cool.

Man 1: I suck.
Man 2: Meatwallet, you have seen anything have you?

by Smart American Male September 10, 2006

Rock Lee

A character from Naruto, the popular Anime & Manga series. Known for having only the discipline of Taijutsu & the drunken fighting style. The first person to actually successfully attack Garra of the Desert. Lee is also able to shoot lasers from his eyebrows & the his abilities comes from his bowl cut. Lee is the most popular Naruto character for African Americans to cosplay as.

Guy: Rock Lee, haven't you had enough training already?
Lee: If I can't brush my hair 300 times, I am set to go for 500 nostril flares. 214, 215, 216, 217--

by Smart American Male October 28, 2006