Top definition
A sports channel known as "The Worldwide Leader in Sports," however, this is inaccurate, since they only focus on two sports leagues: the NFL and the NBA. MLB? They hardly talk about it. NHL? What's that? Popular sports leagues from around the world? Forget it. The World Cup, which only happens once every four years? Here is some irrelevant NBA Free Agency news, and I use the term news lightly.

ESPN is also known for obsessing over LeBron James to a sickening degree. If you are just dying to know what superteam LeBron will form next, what LeBron had for breakfast, the contents of his garbage, or his reading material of choice while on the toilet, just watch ESPN. You'll be able to find out within 5 minutes.
ESPN Anchor: Now, let's go live to LeBron's house where Brian Windhorst is on the scene. Brian, what can you tell us?

Brian: Well, after stalking LeBron for three days straight, I learned that he brought home McDonald's last night, but he did not finish his french fries. I think this could be a sign that LeBron is leaning toward leaving Miami, possibly to go back to Cleveland. I'll have more information once I finish sifting through his garbage.

ESPN Anchor: That's Brian Windhorst with the latest on everything LeBron. Coming up next on SportsCenter, we debate LeBron's recent purchase of deodorant, and what it means for his future in the NBA.
by zuawg July 10, 2014
Get the mug
Get a ESPN mug for your dog Larisa.
2
Adj. Something which is incredibly overplayed and overdramatized.
Up next on ESPN, completely unfounded speculation regarding the motives of Brett Favre returning to the NFL, followed by a six hour discussion comparing Favre with current Packers QB Aaron Rodgers. Then we'll take you live to Brett Favre's home where we will watch him eat cheetos while watching television.
by vigilantmongoose December 12, 2009
Get the mug
Get a ESPN mug for your friend Abdul.
3
Entertainment, Sports, and Poker Network

Used to indicate the amount of poker on ESPN nowadays.
I am watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN.
by Mon Capitan August 15, 2009
Get the mug
Get a ESPN mug for your cat Zora.
4
Everytime I turn on ESPN they are talking about the Yankees or Patriots or Red Sox or some other gay east coast team, as if the west coast does not exist.
by disneysucks July 30, 2006
Get the mug
Get a ESPN mug for your coworker Bob.
5
A Sports network where any random idiot can make it as an "expert analysist" for a sport.
Person1: Lol at Merrill Hodge calling Vince Young a bust.
Person2: What did you expect, he works for freakin espn!!!
by k-dubz June 18, 2007
Get the mug
Get a espn mug for your mama Sarah.
6
ESPN is a bunch of ass kissing Yankees, Red Sox, and Patriots fans. Last year (2008) they had a part of Sportscenter DEDICATED, yes dedicated to the old Yankee Stadium, when about 3 other teams were also in the process of building a new stadium. Every February they also dedicate a huge part of Sportscenter about the Yankees and Redsox training camps, seriously WHO CARES. ESPN is a bunch of East coast assholes who don't care at all about any other teams in the other part of the country, except for Manny and the Dodgers. Their so called "expert analyists" don't know a thing about sports, and are a bunch of ex-bench players at Division 3 schools. If you like ESPN you indeed have a vagina.
Nobody gives a shit about the Yankees and Red Sox training camps. Doesn't ESPN remember that there are 28 other teams in the MLB?
by pwnth3n00b February 23, 2009
Get the mug
Get a espn mug for your brother-in-law Callisto.
7
Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network
Formally know as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, they offically changed their names to Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network when they decided to focus on two MLB teams, the Red Sox and Yankees. Their main headlines usually include:
*Manny being Manny
*Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez
*MANNY TRADED TO THE LA DODGERS
*David Ortiz hits Homerun Number (insert #)
*David Ortiz eats burger number (insert #)
*A-Rod and Madonna???
*A-Rod and Jeter breaks up with Madonna rumors.
*Joba Chamberlain as a possible Cy Young Candidate (No Joke, actually real)

With the occasional headlines of:
Evan Longoria
Tiger Woods
Brett Farve
Evan Longoria
The New York Mets
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
LA Dodgers (only because Manny is there)
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
MLB News
Subscribe

* MLB eyeing instant replay as early as late August
* Oblique puts Lowell on DL | Red Sox top Rangers
* After fouling ball off foot, Jeter sits | Yanks lose
* Cubs sweep Braves by combined score of 18-2
* Crawford opts for hand surgery | TB-OAK Live
* A's third baseman Chavez has shoulder surgery
* Quentin sits out, but balanced ChiSox top Royals
* Sheffield says he's not expecting trade | Tigers fall
* Rumor Central: Rays making push for Aurilia? Insider

Four Yankees/Red Sox headlines in the top 5 from ESPN website 8/13/08
by Person who hates ESPN August 13, 2008
Get the mug
Get a ESPN mug for your mother-in-law Helena.