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Shandooga McGluckfeez's definitions

Headhandle

A nose so large that it would appear to serve a dual function as both respiration orifice and a handle for carrying the head to which it is attached.
Guy 1: "Did ya get a look at her?"
Guy 2: "Her body is working but her face is unemployed."
Guy 1: "What do you mean?"
Guy 2: "How did you miss the schnoz on that dame? It's less a nose and more a headhandle. I almost ducked when she turned around."
by Shandooga McGluckfeez May 13, 2009
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Racktacular

An outstandingly attractive pair of breasts.
Guy 1: So what do you think of the new girl?

Guy 2: She's got quite a set on her.

Guy 1: Agreed, to say they're racktacular would be putting it mildly.
by Shandooga McGluckfeez September 7, 2009
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Grapefruit Tree

A tall and/or exceedingly slender woman with no hips, a flat buttocks and large, protruding breasts. Grapefruit may be substituted for any fruit that grows on a tree but which more closely approximates the size of the breasts at hand (pun intended).
Man 1: What do you think of Angelina Jolie?

Man 2: Well, her lips make her look like she's trying to swallow a pair of boxing gloves and the rest just looks like someone trained a grapefruit tree to walk.

Man 1: Harsh.

Man 2: That's how I roll.
by Shandooga McGluckfeez November 4, 2010
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Integricide

(v) A mashup of "integrity" and "suicide" meaning 'to assassinate one's own character and credibility through an exposed pattern of deceit, deception, prevarication, equivocation and any and every other terminology that can be linked to dishonesty.'
Man 1: "The governmedia committed integricide years ago but, for some reason, most people still listen to them. Go figure."

Woman 1: "It amazes me that people still vote because there hasn't been a single politician who hasn't publicly committed integricide in decades."

Woman 2: "I know! All the politicians, the knews media, the military; it's like they're all in a mass integricide pact!"
by Shandooga McGluckfeez June 7, 2008
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Knews

That certain class of broadcast (irrespective of medium) which purports to be true and complete information but has been manipulated, filtered and censored by corporations, government agencies and any other parties wealthy or influential enough to access corporate media decision makers. Knews usually advertises itself using slogans that suggest very strongly that its presenters and content can be "trusted" or that the viewer can make his own decision about what he will see.

Knews is one of the main products of a governmedia and differentiated from infotainment in that it is focused on national, international or political events rather than celebrities, sports or other trivial pursuits. Knews (pronounced: `k-news) represents itself as "news" but has a diluted basis in reality (if any). If the producers of knews haven't totally fabricated its content, they have distorted the meaning of real events until the final product is more closely representative of propaganda.
There was a delay at the airport, the knews said it was due to something linked to Al Qaeda but I know better.
by Shandooga McGluckfeez January 11, 2009
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Neverlution

A disparaging reference to the same THEORY also known as Evolution among those who subscribe to it. The term "Neverlution" is intended for use by proponents of opposing views of evolution and endeavors to include a commentary on the likelihood of life spontaneously arising and successfully changing to progressively better equipped forms.

Use of "Neverlution" seeks to exacerbate the situation of the hopelessly besieged theorists whose life's work amounts to mere wishful thinking while it hobbles along without intelligence, guidance or interference from any source outside of the lifeforms' already ill-explained environment.

Use of the term "neverlution" is always facetious and especially applies in discussions surrounding the fact that proponents of the terminally flawed theory of evolution have provided no explanation for how life arose in the first place.
Have you ever noticed that Neverlution works fine if you *only* discuss lions hunting deer but it says nothing about defenseless fruit trees and vegetables? How'd those get here?
by Shandooga McGluckfeez May 6, 2008
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Malcookage

Preparing a meal poorly or generally lacking skill in the culinary arts.
Our courtship was ended by an egregious act of malcookage. Never before has chicken more closely resembled furniture.
by Shandooga McGluckfeez September 5, 2011
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