Definitions by QuacksO
credophile
A well-to-do sex-starved opportunist who seeks out financially-insolvent individuals with low credit-scores, for the purpose of sexually propositioning them in exchange for his paying off their debts.
It is possible to turn the tables on a credophile by employing the spiritual debt-relief ploy, whereby you initially agree to his terms, but then after you have received his monetary assistance, you suddenly claim to have recently "gotten religion", and thus you feel compelled to remain celibate.
credophile by QuacksO March 12, 2017
s. m. c. back-clap
Stands for Simultaneous Mutual Companionable back-clap, and is used to describe the warmly-affable gesture that two super-sociable best friends (usually two cool dudes, but hot chicks occasionally share one, too, or a guy and a sturdy-figured cutie) perform to signify an agreement, encourage each other to begin a boring/difficult/disgusting task, start off on a stroll together, etc. It simply involves exchanging a huge beaming ear-to-ear grin, then putting an arm around each other's shoulders and landing a good-natured thump on the back to indicate their hearty positive feelings and congratulatory appreciation for each other.
Freckle-faced southern tomboy: Ah always loves to help da local farmer-boys wif their chores and play volleyball wif dem, and my fahvorite part is the s. m. c. back-claps dat dey always smilingly gives me throughout the day... makes a gal feel purrty and appreciated!
s. m. c. back-clap by QuacksO March 8, 2017
hic-cups
Refers to either:
(A) the bra-size (“cups”) of the impressively large and perkily-rounded chest-pillows that backwoods (“hic” town) chicks often develop at an unusually early age, due to their healthful environment and rugged lifestyle. The overall volume and attractiveness of “The Twins” is often in direct proportion to how early in life that their fortuitously-endowed owner will begin usin’ ‘em for their intended purpose, since the female-torso-ogling raging-hormone-steeped neighborhood guys will likely “want some” from her all the sooner, as well, and naturally, their insanely-eager excitement usually precludes their taking any precautions (i.e., **latex**), and thus the chesty gal may hear the pitter-patter of little feet at a somewhat younger age than she’d expected.
(B) the involuntary “stomach-jump” reaction (together with a second strong bodily reaction somewhere lower down, of course!) that a horny city-slicker experiences when he first catches sight of one of said buxom rosy-cheeked freckle-faced farmer’s-daughter-type damsels ambling casually along beside the road where he’s driving. And here again, the more attractively voluptuous that the “treasures” on her “treasure chest” happen to be, the earlier in her life that said naïve country-chick may carry a bit of one of said city-slickers back with her when she head-swimmingly makes her way back home again after a “physically delightful” encounter with him.
(A) the bra-size (“cups”) of the impressively large and perkily-rounded chest-pillows that backwoods (“hic” town) chicks often develop at an unusually early age, due to their healthful environment and rugged lifestyle. The overall volume and attractiveness of “The Twins” is often in direct proportion to how early in life that their fortuitously-endowed owner will begin usin’ ‘em for their intended purpose, since the female-torso-ogling raging-hormone-steeped neighborhood guys will likely “want some” from her all the sooner, as well, and naturally, their insanely-eager excitement usually precludes their taking any precautions (i.e., **latex**), and thus the chesty gal may hear the pitter-patter of little feet at a somewhat younger age than she’d expected.
(B) the involuntary “stomach-jump” reaction (together with a second strong bodily reaction somewhere lower down, of course!) that a horny city-slicker experiences when he first catches sight of one of said buxom rosy-cheeked freckle-faced farmer’s-daughter-type damsels ambling casually along beside the road where he’s driving. And here again, the more attractively voluptuous that the “treasures” on her “treasure chest” happen to be, the earlier in her life that said naïve country-chick may carry a bit of one of said city-slickers back with her when she head-swimmingly makes her way back home again after a “physically delightful” encounter with him.
platonic bridge-salesman
A crafty smooth-talker dude who initially claims to just want a "first base" friendship with a lady, but in reality is merely using this assertion as an "opener" to eventually getting into her pants.
Hot chick: Brandon claimed he just wants to take me for strolls hand-in-hand... yeah, right... sounds like da classic "platonic bridge-salesman" pitch to me --- I've seen how he looks at me whenever I wear a swimsuit or a sun-dress!
platonic bridge-salesman by QuacksO March 6, 2017
butt buffer-zone
Refers to the distance between Uranus and the outer perimeter of your butt-cheeks, in terms of how far an accidentally-released blob of poop has to "travel" before it reaches --- and subsequently soils --- your clothing and/or whatever surface that you happen to be presently sitting/lying upon.
Many people think that having a huge flabby behind in undesirable, but it can actually be an advantage if you occasionally suffer from liquid farts, since it provides you with a greater butt buffer-zone; this is especially fortuitous if you happen to be sitting or reclining at the time of said unexpected discharge, since it is exhaustingly more laborious to properly sanitize a seat-cushion or mattress, whereas soiled clothing can usually just be soaked in detergent-solution and then tossed in the washer.
butt buffer-zone by QuacksO March 5, 2017
Sneezy
Sneezy used to be jockeying for first place with the also-nose-blast-prone "Miss A" of the kindergarten-educational "Letter People" for the number of times per day that someone is verbally blessed by present company, but then when Snow White joined the Dwarfs in their hut, Sneezy began to have "Bless you" said **seven** times each time he sneezed, rather than just by each of his brothers, and so he was able to beat Miss A for first place in the Guinness Book Of World's Records, since (1) Miss A usually "lets loose" only about as often as Sneezy, and (2) most days she is in the company of only a random few of the 25 other Letter-People at one time, whereas the Seven Dwarfs always do everything together and Snow White always hung out with them in their hut, and so she would always be within earshot, also, to pleasantly bless Sneezy whenever he discharged his nasal-cannon.
marriageyouwanna
The plant-based drug of choice to administer to one or both of a pair of lovers to put them more in the mood for "tying the knot". Conspiracy theorists have long been suspected that the real reason Cupid's arrows are so effective is that they have actually had their tips anointed with a concentrated extract of this potent hallucinogen.
Hot chick: My main squeeze gave me a marriageyouwanna joint shortly before I let him put this diamond ring on my finger, but now that my high has worn off, I'm not really sure I wanna go through with it... oh, it's not like I don't love the dude to pieces --- I most certainly DO --- it's just that I'm not sure if I'm quite ready to "settle down" yet.
marriageyouwanna by QuacksO March 5, 2017