Definitions by QuacksO
ol' factory canal
A man-made watercourse that flows past a charmin' "antique" mill where skilled craftspeople produce clay noses for store-mannequins and wig-display craniums.
Disgruntled high-school student: BLAST IT ALL --- here I signed up for this class 'cuz I'd assumed we were gonna take a fun-filled field-trip to see an "ol' factory canal", but instead we just got stuck in a regular boring classroom and studied an insipid textbook about the human smelling-system!
ol' factory canal by QuacksO April 15, 2019
Yeah, yeah, yeah --- arms around...
What you sarcastically grumble when everyone in a group seems to wanna get all cozy for no apparent reason.
(Spoken while dutifully cooperating in a huge "crowd embrace" of party-goers just to be polite and agreeable, but not really understanding why everyone wants to get all cozy) "Yeah, yeah, yeah --- arms around... aren't we all huggy-cuddly-snuggly LOVEY-DOVEY today!!"
Yeah, yeah, yeah --- arms around... by QuacksO April 15, 2019
quaint quibbles
The "vintage" whiny-toned "petty-squabbles" bu**s**t that Abigail VanBuren "recycles" from question-letters that she received way back in the '60's and '70's... sawdusty-dry boring "outdated" crap that we modern and more-socially-enlightened folks "know better now" than to create or encounter, but that we're all forced to suffer through on Abby's daily column, as if it's actually still valid "current-times" stuff.
An example of the "quaint quibbles" that are seldom an issue nowadays, but which still seem to irritatingly form the bulk of Ms. VanBuren's column:
Dear Abby,
I am getting married to "Sam" in June. My future mother-in-law, "Claire", wants to be our wedding-planner; she reasons that since she is hosting (and largely funding, as neither I nor my fiancé have spare cash) the wedding, she should be allowed to dictate the wedding-arrangements, and to choose which guests to invite. "Claire" comes from a strictly-orthodox and conservative background, and so she wants our wedding to be formal and dignifierd, whereas my husband-to-be and I prefer a simpler and more-casual setting. In addition, "Claire" has really atrocious tastes when it comes to decor; frankly, her house resembles the inside of a ghost-mansion, with dark curtains, drab wallpaper, etc. So "Sam" and I fear that "Claire" will ruin our wedding with her cheerless presentation-ideas, plus she has occasionally hinted not-so-subtly that she disapproves of many of our friends, claiming they are too "trendy" and undignified. We want our "special day" to be just that --- special, which means being surrounded by the people we enjoy, not just the insipid and overly-judgemental folks whom "Claire" approves of.
Abby, how can we preserve our amicable footing with "Claire" (she will soon be part of our extended family, after all), while maintaining the enjoyment of ourselves and our wedding-guests?
Distressed in Detroit
Dear Abby,
I am getting married to "Sam" in June. My future mother-in-law, "Claire", wants to be our wedding-planner; she reasons that since she is hosting (and largely funding, as neither I nor my fiancé have spare cash) the wedding, she should be allowed to dictate the wedding-arrangements, and to choose which guests to invite. "Claire" comes from a strictly-orthodox and conservative background, and so she wants our wedding to be formal and dignifierd, whereas my husband-to-be and I prefer a simpler and more-casual setting. In addition, "Claire" has really atrocious tastes when it comes to decor; frankly, her house resembles the inside of a ghost-mansion, with dark curtains, drab wallpaper, etc. So "Sam" and I fear that "Claire" will ruin our wedding with her cheerless presentation-ideas, plus she has occasionally hinted not-so-subtly that she disapproves of many of our friends, claiming they are too "trendy" and undignified. We want our "special day" to be just that --- special, which means being surrounded by the people we enjoy, not just the insipid and overly-judgemental folks whom "Claire" approves of.
Abby, how can we preserve our amicable footing with "Claire" (she will soon be part of our extended family, after all), while maintaining the enjoyment of ourselves and our wedding-guests?
Distressed in Detroit
quaint quibbles by QuacksO April 15, 2019
Baa, humbug!
What da infamous "wolf in sheep's clothing" miser from mid-19th-century London had to say about Christmas.
Ebeneezer Scrooge sure was awfully "ram-headed" to say "Baa, humbug!" to any member of the London "flock" who wished him a Merry Christmas... I wonder if he'd have said the same thing nowadays, when many of us speak of the end-of-year period by using the "politically correct" title of "winter holidays"? He considered himself pretty shrewd, though, so maybe he would have thought that everyone was just trying to "pull the wool over his eyes" by still referring to basically the same holiday, even though they were indeed using a different title?
Baa, humbug! by QuacksO April 14, 2019
get away scotch-free
Refers to your not being charged and/or incarcerated for an indiscretion, due to whether or not you'd consumed alcohol during the period when you'd committed said crime.
Believe it or not, being intoxicated can sometimes actually be a defense in a criminal case, especially if the culprit merely committed a misdemeanor instead of something more serious... if he was drunk at the time, he can often get away scotch-free! Disgusting, but true.
get away scotch-free by QuacksO April 14, 2019