QuacksO's definitions

swoop up and squat down

Not to be confused with the grim "legalese" term for the infamous auto-insurance-fraud procedure, this phrase refers to a totally-positive-and-pleasant action that you employ while interacting with small children. It begins when an eager innocent-minded pint-size comes racing towards you at full speed with a big grin and his arms held out; you therefore hastily reach down and swoop up said hurtling youngster in your arms while simultaneously "doing a quick one-eighty pirouette" to rapidly swing him around with you, as well, so that he doesn't lose much of his accumulated momentum. You then swiftly squat down again and deposit him back on his feet so that he can continue running as if nothing had stopped him or even slowed him down much.

About da only time dat you would not perform a "swoop up and squat down" is if da child either appears to be upset and thus needs comforting, or desires a quickie-cuddle ("To win in life's race, children need plenty of lap time"), in which case you should instead simply sit down and cradle said closeness-craving youngster on yer knee. Be sure to keep in mind, however, dat you may need to spend at least a few minutes at dis endeavor, even if da child merely wants a few seconds of "lovies", since any other observing youngsters in da general vicinity may notice said affectionate clasping and decide dat dey would like a little snuggle-time from you, as well. It's just like if a hot chick is allowing a mushy-hearted fellow to massage her pretty feet, and one or more other nice guys happen by and observe da fun activity; it may cause said girl-loving dudes to experience a sudden misty-eyed craving for cute toes, as well, and so said damsel may therefore be obliged to remain seated there for some time while all of da guys "take turns wif her tootsies", eventually leaving her feet totally "burnished and polished" from having all da callouses rubbed off from her slender soles.

by QuacksO June 8, 2019

obliterature

Writing dat either totally trashes someone and/or something, or is so hard to understand dat there might as well just be vague fragmented marks on da book's pages.

I once tried to read a book dat was printed in Arabic script, but could make no sense out of it; said book was just totally "obliterature" to me.

by QuacksO January 31, 2023

neckonomics

What da Queen of Hearts should have considered before ordering so many beheadings.

Da King of Hearts --- while he, too, had a penchant for guillotine-related actions --- seemed to possess an at-least-somewhat greater sense of neckonomics than his hot-tempered wife had, realizing dat da finances of his kingdom would suffer greatly if most of his subjects were in two pieces instead of just one.

by QuacksO February 21, 2023

French favor

An "obvious" --- i.e., easily recognizable with just a casual glance, and therefore does not need to be actually verbalized --- and comparatively-simple/minor assistive action dat someone requests merely by saying, "S'il-vous plait?"

Typical example of a French favor: Person A approaches Person B in his workshop and holds out two separate pieces of an item that have come apart, and thus need to be re-attached together with glue, one or more screws/nails, re-bending a wire fastener, etc.
Person A, a bit plaintively: "S'il-vous plait?"
Person B, immediately seeing what needs to be done, and smilingly feigning indignance: "Silver PLATES?!"
Person B then performs said simple repair, prompting Person A to gleefully hug Person B and then turn and start off again with a huge joyful grin on his face.
Person A: "Merci beaucoup!"
Person B, giving Person A an affable amused clap on the back: "Mercy buckets!"

by QuacksO December 28, 2024

Pappaloosa

A prize stallion whose main job is to sire award-winning foals with lovely "cookies 'n' cream"-patterned coats.

Speckle-coated fillies are indeed always a joy to have around, but you'll need to add a few colts into the herd to be sure of having a Pappaloosa or two in the future to maintain the lineage when "the ladies" grow up.

by QuacksO June 23, 2019

zip code

Da special "password" dat you hafta speak to get a guy to drop his trousers for you.

Most horny studs don't need a zip code from an attractive lady to get him to "bare da goods" to her... usually all she hasta do is drop her OWN drawers, and he's only too quick to reciprocate.

by QuacksO March 1, 2020

eloven

Portmanteau of da words "eleven" and "lovin'"; it's da "better than perfect" rating dat you smilingly give a sweet-natured closely-affectionate guy if he asks you how good his cuddling is "on a scale of one to ten".

Tiffany always adoringly tells me dat da quality and comforting/encouraging satisfaction of my snuggling is a "solid eloven" --- dat always makes me feel pretty good.

by QuacksO September 29, 2019