Definitions by QuacksO
Walter Crankyite
Lots of the folks who tune in to daily radio/TV news-broadcasts do so largely because they enjoy the pleasant/efficient manner of the announcer (think Lowell Thomas and Dallas Townsend), so I would wonder if Walter Crankyite would really get all that many people who would wanna listen to HIM read the latest headlines.
Walter Crankyite by QuacksO May 11, 2019
last-minute paging-cancel
Refers to the insanely-frustrating act of asking an employee over the PA system to come and assist with something, only to then say, "never mind" a long while afterwards, when said frazzled employee has hastily "dropped everything" and speed-walked almost all the way up to the area where he was asked to present himself.
The last-minute paging-cancel is especially infuriating/draining if the responding employee has had to go through a lot of difficult preparation before heading to his requested locale, such as cleansing his extremely-soiled hands, changing into cleaner/neater attire, setting down a huge armload of items, powering off a complicated piece of equipment, etc.
last-minute paging-cancel by QuacksO May 10, 2019
hops-scotch
I tried playing hops-scotch with my drinking-buddies, but I was already so tipsy that I kept falling over and thus getting eliminated from the game.
hops-scotch by QuacksO May 9, 2019
cobweboration
Refers to the "evidentiary" accumulation of old dusty "spider-lace" over the access-opening to some area or device, thus proving to observers that you have indeed not been messing around in said locale, just as you'd stated you hadn't.
When the well-servicing guys came to replace my submersible water-pump and removed the well-pipe's outer cap, there was a thick layer of obviously-many-years-old cobweboration layered over the end of the pipe, showing the guys beyond any doubt that this was the first time it had been uncovered since they themselves had installed it well over a decade earlier. I gigglingly said, "You see? Long live spider's webs! This proves conclusively that I haven't had my cotton-pickin' hands down there, and so the pump's malfunctioning couldn't possibly have had anything to do with meddling on my part!"
cobweboration by QuacksO May 8, 2019
cereal killer
A hired fellow-human exterminator --- often a harassassin --- who causes his marks' premature demise by forcing them to eat oatmeal or other grain-based comestible that they absolutely detest, and so said abused victim commits eventually suicide to escape said culinary coercion.
They called Ted Bundy a cereal killer, but I happen to really enjoy hot oatmeal, plain shredded wheat, and other "simple fare" breakfast foods, so Teddy's tactics would have been much less effective at getting me to bite da dust than they would have been with many other folks with more of a "sweet tooth" or "meat 'n' potatoes" meal-selection preference.
cereal killer by QuacksO May 8, 2019
buypolar disorder
A serious mental malady whereby you are convinced that you have sufficient persuasion/hyping-capabilities to sell ice to Eskimos.
Billy Mays is said to have been so skilled at salesmanship that he could sell ice to an Eskimo, but I never found him all that appealing or convincing, so maybe he just had buypolar disorder if he actually thought that about himself.
buypolar disorder by QuacksO May 8, 2019
cross-reference
A shameless high-pressure verbal strategy used by a fake/insincere Bible-blabber merely in an attempt to manipulate others into doing what he wants, convert to his faith and/or join his church, etc.; said strategy involves speaking vehemently about "The Great J.C." and how He met His untimely demise.
A local druggie tried to cross-reference me into trying some of his crap --- claiming it was "divine matter from The Holy Spirit Himself" --- but I just shruggingly waved him off.
cross-reference by QuacksO May 8, 2019