Definitions by QuacksO

isshoes

Cranky complications regarding your footwear.

I love giving foot-rubs to pretty girls whom I befriend; I just always hope that there will be no isshoes (i.e., tangled laces, stuck buckles, etc.) when trying to remove her boots or sneakers to access said precious shapely pair of tootsies that dwell within.

isshoes by QuacksO November 21, 2020

VINdicate 

To prove your innocence of an auto-related crime through the vehicle identification number of said auto-bubble.

An officer pulled me over to ask if my car had been involved in a raucous tire-squealing incident the day before, but once he checked my registration-form, I was totally VINdicated.

VINdicate by QuacksO November 17, 2020

too lawng ago 

Refers to a period of time following an event that is too lengthy for any legal action to be taken.

I never intentionally misbehave, but I know that I still made lots of naive-minded screw-ups as an adolescent. However, now that I'm in my fifties and seeing as how I still have a 100%-clean criminal record, I assume that those accidental-slip-up events during my teenage years were way too lawng ago for me to be concerned about any legal action's ever being taken against me regarding them --- not only would the statute of limitations likely have expired decades ago, but most of the folks who'd been involved in those errors would either have forgotten about them or passed on by this time.

too lawng ago by QuacksO November 17, 2020

chairity 

A non-profit organization dat collects and distributes used/unwanted furniture to sit on.

Since our kids grew up and moved out, we seldom have very many people sitting around the dinner-table, so I think I'll donate the extra seats to chairity.

chairity by QuacksO November 16, 2020

Sphagnumson Moss Warranty Act 

A legislation dat prevents seed or live-plant vendors from denying your customer-dissatisfaction claim merely because you used your own mulch instead of theirs.

Before da Sphagnumson Moss Warranty Act has been passed, it was prohibitively expensive for many folks to do small-scale gardening, since they'd been obliged to purchase both their seedlings and mulch from da same vendor.

Sphagnumson Moss Warranty Act by QuacksO November 16, 2020

jeannieus 

A really smart/clever/learned lady named Jeannie.

The word "jeannieus" is totally fine all on its own, but a similarly-spelled word can refer to a different type of superior intellect or capability --- if a guy is a "jeanius", it means that he is an expert at sweet-talking a hot chick into letting him get in her pants.

jeannieus by QuacksO November 15, 2020

genieus 

A magical guy in a corked bottle who is exceptionally clever, learned, and/or smart.

In the classic "building a bridge across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii is actually easier than helping a guy understand women" joke, the genieus quickly realizes that the guy's first request was actually a better one for him to grant.

genieus by QuacksO November 15, 2020