QuacksO's definitions

Return To Spender

Da way you should mark an envelope containing an astronomical department-store/online-merchant invoice dat someone who had "gone wild with his credit card" has sent to you and blubberingly asked if you would pay off his bill for him. Hey --- we are all responsible for our actions, so unless there was actually a prior agreement, it's not up to someone else to "bail you out" if you are not wise/thrifty with your purchasing!

I always try to be very frugal and carefully calculate how much I am paying for an actual/virtual cart of merchandise, so that hopefully I can avoid having any "Return To Spender" letters' winding up in my mailbox!

by QuacksO September 22, 2020

in Her Majesty's secret cervix

Humorous reference to how easy a time James Bond seems to have with getting hot chicks into his bed during a UK-government-ordered mission.

Double-Oh-Seven is so handsome and charming dat he could probably “score big wif da babes” whether he was in Her Majesty's secret cervix or not!

by QuacksO October 8, 2023

negligeence

Irresponsible behavior dat involves wearing a skimpy nightgown.

If you don't want guys to hit on you, da last thing ya'll wanna do is commit voluntary negligeence!

by QuacksO October 18, 2021

L.bj

What you'd call sucking off da mid-to-late-'60's-era Commander-in-Chief.

Supposedly da 36th Prez had a real "jumbo" between his legs, but it's apparently not well known whether he actually received any "L.bj" da way dat da infamous "Willie and his willy" did.

by QuacksO April 27, 2025

alphabetical umpire

bumpire: Someone who monitors da activities of moochers and vagrants, uneven surfaces, or people's posteriors
cumpire: Someone who monitors a virile stud's sperm-production
dumpire: Someone who monitors da bulk-offloading of material
dumbpire: Someone who monitors stupid people and/or actions
fumpire: Someone who monitors what da castle-atop-da-beanstalk-dwelling giant said regarding British hemoglobin

gumpire: Someone who monitors Violet Beauregarde's favorite dental-exercising substance
humpire: Someone who monitors others' tune-carrying abilities, or da droning din of power-transformers and/or minuscule rapidly-flapping birds
jumpire: Someone who monitors others' pogo-stick-type leg-actions
lumpire: Someone who monitors Abner Peabody's best buddy, or abnormal bulges
mumpire: Someone who monitors child-bearing females, others' abilities to invoke da Fifth Amendment, or painful jaw-swelling

Other examples of alphabetical umpires include:
numbpire: Someone who monitors da effectiveness of an anesthetic
pumpire: Someone who monitors fluid-locomotion devices
rumpire: Someone who monitors strong drink or da jiggling of other people's behinds
sumpire: Someone who monitors addition-example solutions or overflow-containment devices
tumpire: Someone who monitors da health of others' stomachs

by QuacksO April 15, 2021

manureity group

Da comparatively small sector of strictly-organic farmers who refuse to use chemical fertilizers of any kind.

Being in a manureity group can indeed have its advantages, but be aware dat nobody will wanna live next to you whenever you fertilize yer fields, especially if it's on a hot day.

by QuacksO May 1, 2025

vexcessive

Describes something --- or someBODY --- possessing an unreasonably high degree of aggravation.

Trying to talk sense into Madea was a task dat Dr. Phil --- regardless of whether "he da best" --- found vexcessive.

by QuacksO November 13, 2024