Similar to Bed Count. One's Head count is the number of times you've gone down on someone, performed oral sex. Many people believe that oral sex doesn't count as a full notch on your belt, so Head Count is adjusted as Fractional Sex.
Kim: "Well, add one to my head count. I just went down on David in the back seat of his car. I guess I'm up to 15 now."
Krista: "Well, that's fractional sex, so it only counts as 10, especially if you didn't swallow."
Kim: "I swallow every time."
Krista: "Okay, 12.5 then."
Krista: "Well, that's fractional sex, so it only counts as 10, especially if you didn't swallow."
Kim: "I swallow every time."
Krista: "Okay, 12.5 then."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 19, 2007
Get the Head Count mug.verb: to reduce someone to the status of a bitch, a weak and obedient underling that does your will out of sheer intimidation. Similar to embarassed, except with more direct connotations to one's bitchhood. Usually being embitched is a bad thing, but not always.
Maxine: Get the fuckin' yard cleaned up, Daryl you useless shit!
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
Mike: Dude! Don't let her embitch you like that. If you let it go now, it'll be like that you're entire relationship. Be a man!
Daryl: Sorry, bro. I was embitched long ago.
Jack: Woman, you better be naked when I get home, holding an ice-cold beer and a bottle of lube!
Dana: -sigh- I've been embitched.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author May 09, 2007
Get the embitch mug.1. (noun) A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho), or many different ones(slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
2. a condition derived by a girl who engages in said activities.
1. "That girl is a mattress back if I ever saw one."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
2. "You're gonna get mattress back if you keep sleeping around like that."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author December 11, 2004
Get the mattress back mug.From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author July 07, 2008
Get the God God Dammit Dammit mug.Like fractional sex, fictional sex is sex you make up to boost your stats (the notches on your belt in other words). Or, it can also be sex you deny ever having, out of fear of having too high of a bed count, or out of embarrassment that the person you had it with was sketchy. Basically, if you lie about whether or not you got laid, it's fictional sex.
Bob: Dude, I nailed Cassandra last night! I'm up to 22 notches on my belt already. How many you got?
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.
Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
Dan: Twenty-two? Yeah right! How many of those 22 are fictional sex? Probably more than half. I'd be surprised if you even nailed ten chicks.
Andrea: I heard you left the party with Bob last night. Does that mean you're up to nine different guys now?
Casandra: Shut up! Nothing happened. We just kissed a bit and I made him take me home. And I'm not up to eight yet either! I've only done like three guys. Honest.
Andrea: Yeah... sure... three guys this month. Sounds like fictional sex to me.
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author April 06, 2008
Get the Fictional Sex mug.(noun) A person, usually a girlfriend, who is dirty, slutty, and sexually uninhibited, who will do anything and everything you ask her, except she'll do this only for her boyfriend/husband. She doesn't sleep around. She's a dirty little whore, but she's your dirty little whore. She's a slut that you keep in your pocket. A pocket slut is different from a regular slut who will be a dirty little whore for anyone who asks her, with no commitment required.
"Ah, man! Cheryl let me tie her up and do anal on her last night. Damn it was hot!"
"Sweet, dude! She seems so pure and innocent around everyone else, but when you get her alone she's a total nympho whore! How do you do it?"
"She's a pocket slut. I so own her."
"Sweet, dude! She seems so pure and innocent around everyone else, but when you get her alone she's a total nympho whore! How do you do it?"
"She's a pocket slut. I so own her."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author February 12, 2007
Get the pocket slut mug.adverb: a feeling of overwhelming sexual arousal that comes over you when you've got no other sexual outlet than masturbation (wanking off, having a wank, etc.). Like horny except that horniness may include the arousal that comes when you actually have a partner to relieve the sexual tension with, or can get one.
Carrie: "God, I watched Troy again and I've been feeling wanky over Brad Pitt all day."
Janet: "Why do you do this to yourself? Just call up Greg and get him down there for a booty call!"
Carrie: "I can't. He'll think I still have feelings for him. I'm just gonna get in a hot bath and wank it out of my system."
Janet: "Why do you do this to yourself? Just call up Greg and get him down there for a booty call!"
Carrie: "I can't. He'll think I still have feelings for him. I'm just gonna get in a hot bath and wank it out of my system."
by Pleasure Boy 1, erotic fiction author June 12, 2007
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