Guitard

A retard who plays the guitar.

Pronounced "g-ee-tard" - with a hard "g", and emphasis on the "ee" sound.

Applies particularly if excessive guitar-playing has caused or contributed to the retardation.

Chuck has been playing Smoke On The Water for the last seven hours.

What a guitard!

by Pipe Downn January 22, 2009

Plankspanker

One who "spanks the plank", "mangles the monkey", or otherwise "chokes the chipolata."

Why no, Robert - there's nothing wrong with being a devoted plankspanker, as long as you are in a faithful, committed relationship with yourself.

by Pipe Downn July 09, 2009

douchery

Douchery is douchebaggery which is merely tedious.

Unlike full-blown douchebaggery, mere douchery does not provoke sufficient passion in the observer to make the two hard consonants in the middle of the word worth the effort.

Jack: Check it - what kind of guy comes to a football game wearing a Vacheron watch? Douchebaggery!
Joe: Nah man, that's just a fake.
Jack and Joe: <sigh> Douchery...

by Pipe Downn January 10, 2010

go fuck yourself

This is a common phrase, which people often over-complicate.

In fact, it means exactly what it says:

GO: Go, get hence, vacate yrself from here. And instead:
FUCK: Fuck, shag, accost, effect carnal intercourse with:
YOURSELF: You, yourself, you.

Whaddya mean what do I mean go fuck yourself?
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You. Wanker.
Simple.

by Pipe Downn September 13, 2009

oxymoron

Someone too dumb too inhale.

"Paramedic! Ex-president Bush seems to be staggering as he walks, and turning intermittently blue-white."

"That's quite normal, sir. He's an oxymoron."

by Pipe Downn December 09, 2013

bad ass

A bottom which is naughty.

Used particularly in the context of flatulence.

(Gentleman breaks wind)

Gent: Oh BAD ASS!!! BAD ASS!!!

(Gent spanks self on posterior: not hard enough to cause permanent dysfunction, but firmly enough to punish.)

by Pipe Downn January 20, 2009

neocon

A new con introduced when people stop falling for the old con.

Republican 1: George Bush? But that old liar is completely unelectable!

Republican 2: No, this is his son, George "W" Bush.

Republican 1: A neocon! You think they'll fall for it?

Republican 2: Like Dick Cheney's hunting partner.

by Pipe Downn December 11, 2011