Phuqit's definitions

Shtuppalotopuss

(adj.) 1--A guy so notoriously horny that the crack of dawn isn't safe around him.

(noun) 2--A guy who manages to get far too much female attention, resulting in a largely disproportionate number of women having intercourse with him.

Don't ever invite Mike to your Perv Parties--he'll be trying all night to poke every woman there, that Shtuppalotopuss!

by Phuqit October 20, 2011

Nanodick

Someone who's such an inconsequential and annoying prick that their capability to be truly obnoxious is reduced to a microscopic level, because no one bothers to pay any attention to their comments.

Bobby's always babbling about things that he can't even understand, that nanodick.

by Phuqit October 17, 2010

Zombie Crush

Having a genuine crush on someone who's dead.

I don't care that Rita Hayworth is dead! I love her anyway--it's a hardcore Zombie Crush.

by Phuqit July 3, 2010

Snot

(Adj.) The Luddite equivalent of spam. Designation for hard-copy junk mail: from "SN"ail n"OT" wanted.

When I get home from vacation my mailbox is stuffed with bills and snot.

by Phuqit March 6, 2010

Qi Vampire

1) An individual whose presence in your life results in most of your interactions with them leaving you drained, spent, and feeling like your own Qi ("life force" energy in Traditional Chinese Medicine) has been sucked right out of you; 2) A two-legged spiritual and/or emotional parasite of epic proportions; 3) That friend who always has some sort of disaster going on in their life that they can't help but impose into YOUR life each time.

My friend's divorce was over five years ago, but every ongoing battle with his ex, over cash and kids, gets described to me in minute detail on a daily basis. The man is a Qi vampire!

by Phuqit January 25, 2010

Fuckdiculous

(Adj.) 1) Portmanteau word formed from "fucking" & "ridiculous," describing something SO unreasonably absurd, that calling it "ridiculous" is far beyond inadequate for adjectival usage; or, 2) Through-the-looking-glass idiotic.

1) My landlord hasn't fixed the hot water for 5 days! That's just fuckdiculous!

2) That guy I REALLY hate at work used me for a reference when applying for his new job: that's fuckdiculous!

by Phuqit December 2, 2009

Fartnuts

The "Oh,no!" lumps in a fart that you knew in advance that you shouldn't have risked, due to recent diarrhea.

I felt the fartnuts, and knew that I had to go home to change my shorts.

by Phuqit October 14, 2009