Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie's definitions

secret santa'd

When you sit on your dick until it goes numb, and then you jerk off and it feels like you are jerking someone else off.

Also known as "The Reverse Stranger"

I secret santa'd myself and it felt like I was jerking off someone else until I regained feeling in my North Pole.

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie December 27, 2019

blam chowder

semen; what you shoot out of your dick when you blam

Note that New England blam chowder is very thick scroatmeal, whereas MANhattan blam chowder has a much runnier consistency similar to precum.

Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop... Here comes the blam chowder.

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie October 7, 2019

blammin jeans

1) Worn out pants that you wear when you wouldn't mind if you had a wet scream while at the strip club.

2) Jeans you wear during the lap dance in case you scoop a ladle full of blam chowder in them.

Peter: "Is there touching at the club?"

Joe: "I-I-I don't know, Peter. Maybe."

Peter: "Okay, this is good, this is good. I'll be sure to pack my blammin jeans."

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie October 7, 2019

wet scream

The whaling sound you make after you prematurely bust during a lap dance and the stripper keeps grinding away on your sensitive and soggy crotch.

Dude, was everything OK in the champagne room? I think I heard you let out a wet scream that sounded like Robert Plant during a Led Zeppelin interlude.

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie October 1, 2019

squi

Pronounced "squee"

1. A male queef
2. Farting out of one's penis

I took my dick out to pee, and accidentally squi.

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie October 3, 2018

hot chocolate nutcracker

1. When you jerk off and shoehorn your nuts into your partner's anus and then they shit at the same time you blow your load.

2. A popular off-Broadway Christmas ballet production written, directed & choreographed by Debbie Allen.

Last night, my partner and I performed the hot chocolate nutcracker after we got home from seeing the Hot Chocolate Nutcracker. It was a great show. And my nuts hurt a great deal.

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie October 3, 2018

loose meat sandwich

With a group of 4 of more, select the person with the largest ass to serve as the sandwich bun. Then, layer as many flaccid penises between the cheeks as will fit to create the loose meat sandwich. For flavor, drizzle the sandwich with secret sauce. Hint: The secret sauce is jizz.

Whenever I'm in Iowa, I like to indulge in a giant loose meat sandwich, preferably with secret sauce.

by Mike Rotondo Tropical Smoothie October 3, 2018