Definitions by Mattj

Buttfaced 

Similar to butt dialing, but with FaceTime

I just checked my phone and saw that I buttfaced my ex.

Buttfaced by Mattj October 10, 2016

J.O. and O.J. 

Jerking off and orange juice; Masturbating in the morning (i.e. before breakfast).

Sorry I'm late, I was just finishing some J.O. and O.J.

J.O. and O.J. by Mattj June 7, 2016

Y'allre 

you+all+are; a word used to describe a group of people efficiently.

(to a group of ignorant people): Y'allre stupid

Y'allre by Mattj May 28, 2016

Amish tug 

to masturbate without the aid of any pornography; no electronic devices/magazines which are not part of Amish culture

The power went out and my phone was dead so I had to Amish tug.

I pulled an Amish tug last night because I was too tired to look up porn.

Amish tug by Mattj March 2, 2015

Granny's Candy 

When an older woman (65 or older) squirts into an ice cube tray, freezes it, and gives it to a younger male, claiming it is hard candy.

Chris: Beatrice granny's candy-ed James the other day and he got so pissed.

Mike: (Twitter post) Just caught my grandma trying to give my friend some granny's candy. #squirtinyourmouth

Granny's Candy by Mattj June 29, 2014

faauck 

Like its four letter cousin but much more jocular, for use in non-serious but very annoying circumstances.

I just spilt coffee all over my keyboard, fell off my chair into a puddle of catsick and accidentally sent the text to my boss I was just writing to get out some feelings; fauuck. :(

faauck by mattJ November 10, 2004

wibbly wobbly 

see Squibly Skwobly

The floor is all wibbly wobbly

wibbly wobbly by mattj July 26, 2004