faauck

Like its four letter cousin but much more jocular, for use in non-serious but very annoying circumstances.
I just spilt coffee all over my keyboard, fell off my chair into a puddle of catsick and accidentally sent the text to my boss I was just writing to get out some feelings; fauuck. :(
by mattJ November 10, 2004
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J.O. and O.J.

Jerking off and orange juice; Masturbating in the morning (i.e. before breakfast).
Sorry I'm late, I was just finishing some J.O. and O.J.
by Mattj April 17, 2016
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Buttfaced

I just checked my phone and saw that I buttfaced my ex.
by Mattj October 10, 2016
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Amish tug

to masturbate without the aid of any pornography; no electronic devices/magazines which are not part of Amish culture
The power went out and my phone was dead so I had to Amish tug.

I pulled an Amish tug last night because I was too tired to look up porn.
by Mattj March 02, 2015
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Y'allre

you+all+are; a word used to describe a group of people efficiently.
(to a group of ignorant people): Y'allre stupid
by Mattj April 26, 2016
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Granny's Candy

When an older woman (65 or older) squirts into an ice cube tray, freezes it, and gives it to a younger male, claiming it is hard candy.
Chris: Beatrice granny's candy-ed James the other day and he got so pissed.

Mike: (Twitter post) Just caught my grandma trying to give my friend some granny's candy. #squirtinyourmouth
by Mattj June 30, 2014
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wibbly wobbly

The floor is all wibbly wobbly
by mattj July 26, 2004
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