They live in your padded furniture and feed off your blood and are almost impossible to exterminate.
"I would rather gargle buckshot than have bedbugs."
"Bedbugs are to furniture what crackheads are to ghettos."
"Bedbugs are the reason we had to move and get rid of our couches."
"Bedbugs are a biological weapon."
"Goodnight, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."
"Bedbugs are to furniture what crackheads are to ghettos."
"Bedbugs are the reason we had to move and get rid of our couches."
"Bedbugs are a biological weapon."
"Goodnight, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."
by MadamexXx March 14, 2009
How people on the Jerry Springer show say "wash" and don't know any better.
"Wash" rhymes with "Posh" and "Mosh," not "Harsh" or "Marsh" or how Goofy says "Gosh" which is "Garsh!"
"Wash" rhymes with "Posh" and "Mosh," not "Harsh" or "Marsh" or how Goofy says "Gosh" which is "Garsh!"
by MadamexXx February 25, 2009
1. When you are so addicted, you're jonesing for a sweet, carbonated, caffeinated beverage that bubbles sweetly down your throat and finally getting one is ecstacy.
2. You're in the middle of hot sex and all you can think about is drinking a soda.
2. You're in the middle of hot sex and all you can think about is drinking a soda.
That first diet Pepsi in the morning gives me a sodagasm.
I poured soda on his dick and then sucked it off because I was so thirsty and had a sodagasm.
I poured soda on his dick and then sucked it off because I was so thirsty and had a sodagasm.
by MadamexXx March 03, 2009
Procrastination is just like masturbation because you only fuck yourself.
Procrastination is a bad habit to get into because it leads people to think you don't care, that you don't have it together and you are often left in the dust compared to your contemperaries. You shouldn't procrastinate, especially when it comes to thanking somebody for something or telling someone you love them or visiting an elderly relative. "He who hesitates is lost."unknown "God helps those who help themselves." unknown, but an old one.
Procrastination is a bad habit to get into because it leads people to think you don't care, that you don't have it together and you are often left in the dust compared to your contemperaries. You shouldn't procrastinate, especially when it comes to thanking somebody for something or telling someone you love them or visiting an elderly relative. "He who hesitates is lost."unknown "God helps those who help themselves." unknown, but an old one.
Procrastination has made me lazy. Now I'm fat.
I can procrastinate up to three times a day.
If I did not procrastinate so much, I'd have a job by now.
Procrastinating makes you look really lame.
I always get mad at myself for procrastinating.
Procrastinators are doomed. When you lag, you lose.
I can procrastinate up to three times a day.
If I did not procrastinate so much, I'd have a job by now.
Procrastinating makes you look really lame.
I always get mad at myself for procrastinating.
Procrastinators are doomed. When you lag, you lose.
by MadamexXx February 20, 2009
Anyone you're living with who won't let you sleep, give you privacy, makes too much noise, tries to throw cock blocks when you have someone you're interested in over, borrows your clothes without asking, takes up too much time in the bathroom, has their obnoxious friends over too much and is basically a pain in the ass to live with. These people are usually not right in the head or have a substance abuse issue or is just plain old inconsiderate. Any intolerable child.
My roomate makes too much noise when I'm trying to sleep. She's a domestic terrorist.
Dennise is a domestic terrorist. She tries to wear my sexy underwear and tries to steal my boyfriends.
I won't babysit that loud-ass kid. He's a domestic terrorist.
My husband always has the TV up too loud. He's a domestic terrorist.
I had to break up with Danny because he'd get drunk at night and do a bunch of noisy and obnoxious shit so I couldn't sleep. He is a domestic terrorist.
Dennise is a domestic terrorist. She tries to wear my sexy underwear and tries to steal my boyfriends.
I won't babysit that loud-ass kid. He's a domestic terrorist.
My husband always has the TV up too loud. He's a domestic terrorist.
I had to break up with Danny because he'd get drunk at night and do a bunch of noisy and obnoxious shit so I couldn't sleep. He is a domestic terrorist.
by MadamexXx February 09, 2009
A young, good-looking, and rather hot example of the male species who appears before the eyes of a lustful older woman.
Boss: "Why are you late?"
Cougar: "I got derailed by a strapping young buck."
Boss: "With antlers and everything?"
Cougar: "I got derailed by a strapping young buck."
Boss: "With antlers and everything?"
by MadamexXx March 10, 2009
When you are overweight and eat something fattening in public and someone says: "Are you sure you should be eating that?"
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.
When you are quite thin, but some nosy scrotesque underweight old man sees that you have a big bag of M&M's and says: "It'll make ya fat."
When you are thin and someone who likes fat people tells you you're too thin. This is usually sexual harassment.
"I was trying to eat a doughnut one morning, but someone called the Calorie Cops. They were eating them too."
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"
"I was proud of my thin new shape and this pervert who keeps trying to flirt with me said I should eat more. What is he, the Calorie Cops?"
Some people were making fun of fat people in line, and I said: "Shut up, you fvck!ng Calorie Cops!"
by MadamexXx February 26, 2009