MadamexXx's definitions

A Hostage Situation

When a couple is on a date and you can tell it's a blind date or guilt induced by how mismatched the pair are. It makes for a really uncomfortable situation.

I went out with Ron because I didn't know he was considering it a date. All night, people kept looking at me funny like it was a hostage situation.
Honesty: "I can't go out with you because it'll look like a hostage situation."

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Private Dick

A man with E.D. who doesn't warn you or a man with a small penis who doesn't warn you. Warning you right before the act doesn't count. A premature ejaculator. A man who is a disappointment in bed. You want to warn everybody, but then he'll spread rumors about you being an easy lay. It's easy to spot these guys beforehand. They like to make fun of other guys and try to make you jealous. Learn from my mistakes and watch for signs beforehand.

I thought Gary was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a Private Dick.
After I slept with Henry, he bragged to everyone, so I was sure to let them all know he was a Private Dick.
Tim was small and a premature ejaculator. What a Private Dick!

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

Gremlins

Children, who for some reason, have parents that can't give them enough attention. If you are kind to them, they'll come to your home, eat all your food, fuck up your property, test your sanity then go home pouting when you finally insist. Their parents are none the wiser. These kids usually tell really bad lies.

"There are some people I'd like to have over, but their kids are gremlins. It's not worth the headache."

by MadamexXx March 14, 2009

Vortex of Shit

First you lose your job, then become homeless, come to find out your wife had someone else's baby. Kind of like a country song, but you can't help but wonder why you have such bad karma: Vortex of Shit.

I knew I was in a vortex of shit when my mother in law came to live with us.

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Dildork

A guy who strikes up conversations with you at the XXX store, unabashedly and follows you around. This makes you cling to your gay friend and it grosses him out.

I was looking at a Kama Sutra when a dildork asked me if I was finding everything OK and he didn't even work there.
The downfall of being beautiful? Some dildork is wanking right now because of you.

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

The Dicks of Hazard

A multi-cultural open-age online gang of computer savvy people who don't take any shit off anyone just like ghetto toilet paper. If you know in your heart you can be a dick for a good cause, join The Dicks of Hazard!

1.Some crackhead kept trying to feed my dog, so I called The Dicks of Hazard.
2.This guy kept throwing cock blocks so I called The Dicks of Hazard. After they schooled me, no one threw cock blocks again.
3.Thanks to The Dicks of Hazard, that nazi never heckles me in class anymore.

by MadamexXx February 17, 2009

Tetrisosterone

Testrisosterone is the hormone needed to play a mean game of Tetris along with an untreated case of OCD.

Everytime I hear that Russian music, I feel a wave of Tetrisosterone coming on!
My boyfriend is never horny, but has a case of Tetrisosterone. No wonder his hand is always sore!
I get aggressive while doing a jigsaw puzzle because I have Tetrisosterone.

by MadamexXx May 19, 2009