MadamexXx's definitions

Private Dick

A man with E.D. who doesn't warn you or a man with a small penis who doesn't warn you. Warning you right before the act doesn't count. A premature ejaculator. A man who is a disappointment in bed. You want to warn everybody, but then he'll spread rumors about you being an easy lay. It's easy to spot these guys beforehand. They like to make fun of other guys and try to make you jealous. Learn from my mistakes and watch for signs beforehand.

I thought Gary was the man of my dreams, but he turned out to be a Private Dick.
After I slept with Henry, he bragged to everyone, so I was sure to let them all know he was a Private Dick.
Tim was small and a premature ejaculator. What a Private Dick!

by MadamexXx February 24, 2009

A Hostage Situation

When a couple is on a date and you can tell it's a blind date or guilt induced by how mismatched the pair are. It makes for a really uncomfortable situation.

I went out with Ron because I didn't know he was considering it a date. All night, people kept looking at me funny like it was a hostage situation.
Honesty: "I can't go out with you because it'll look like a hostage situation."

by MadamexXx March 3, 2009

Tetrisosterone

Testrisosterone is the hormone needed to play a mean game of Tetris along with an untreated case of OCD.

Everytime I hear that Russian music, I feel a wave of Tetrisosterone coming on!
My boyfriend is never horny, but has a case of Tetrisosterone. No wonder his hand is always sore!
I get aggressive while doing a jigsaw puzzle because I have Tetrisosterone.

by MadamexXx May 19, 2009

Conversate

The real word is "converse," as "orientate" is really meant to be the word "orient." There is a difference between being creative and verbal rather than sounding stupid because you think you have game.

Guy: "I came over here to conversate and become orientated with you."
Girl: "WTF? I thought you just wanted to talk and get to know me better."
See you stupid that sounds? Please, for the love of God, stop saying that stupid shit. Don't you want to be somebody?

by MadamexXx March 13, 2009

ReFlab

After a meth, crack or heroin addict gets off habitual drug use, they gain a lot of weight in a hurry because the drug and not eating has slowed their metabolism down. Since their muscles have also deteriorated from this habit, they get a lot of untoned fat: ReFlab.

"First I went to Rehab, now I've gone to ReFlab!"
"ReFlab is one of the leading causes that Americans are so fat."
"I used to be an athlete, but my body went to ReFlab after I was bedridden for six months."
"If I moved back in with my parents, I would begin to ReFlab because of my mom's cooking."

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009

Shut Your Pie Hole

A way to tell someone to Shut the Fuck Up or Shut Up, Bitch that turns a tense moment into something funny.
It's better to say because it shows creativity and has a richer history, plus that you have more class.

That kid had diarreah of the mouth so I told him : "Shut Your Pie Hole."
I want to say: "Shut Your Pie Hole" to Eminem. He sucks.

by MadamexXx February 25, 2009

Birth Control Shirt

This is a shirt my first husband got second hand and I could tell why. As soon as he put that shirt on, it looked so bad that I was forced to shut my eyes because it was emotionally traumatizing to look at it. The combination of print, pattern and color produced such a cataclysm of visual assault that I needed six months of therapy to deal with it. It is the equivalent of seeing your loved one wearing a Jason from Halloween mask, which is almost as scary.

When my husband wore the birth control shirt, I knew that there would be no chance of him cheating on me. I was surprised it didn't render him sterile. It was one ugly-ass unflattering shirt. I threw it away and he divorced me anyway.

by MadamexXx March 13, 2009