Flange

A flange is a metalic flan or quiche which forms the staple food for robots. Although robots do also enjoy snacking on staples, staples are not the staple food.

The first flange was baked in 1736 (that's just after 25 minutes to six) by Mrs Helen Highwater of Wales. This original flange was cooked to a prehistoric Italian recipe, using a simple combination of copper and iron. Today, the copper and iron flange is called Flange Lorraine or Flance Margharitta, both of which mean "plain and boring, somewhat tasteless, but nevertheless cheap and therefore relatively good value for money flange".

Mrs Highwater fed the original flange to her favourite robotic sheep, LLangchgoch-
gowbylloflen-
ogocgochgoch-
llanllanlllan. The sheep, together with the remains of the flange, can be seen in the International Museum of Flanges in the United States city of Baghdad.

The development of the flange was slow at first, until the Great Staple Crisis of 1987, which led to the establishment of the LLangochgochllogowbyllof
llenogochgochgochllanl
lanllllllllan Flange Export Company. The flange was simultaneously patented by Microsoft, Apple computer, Wikimedia, Mozilla and Coca Cola in the USA, but in the rest of the world is manufacturered solely by anyone.
flange =D... =)... =|...
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
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Blue screen of death

The phrase Blue Screen of Death has its origins in the maritime trade, particularly buccaneer lore of the sixteenth century. When a ship is sunk, all that is left is the morbidly still ocean, glistening bright blue in the Caribbean sun. Thus, when one heads out to sea, with the intention of meeting another boat, and all one sees is the rolling blue ocean, one can sadly assume that that boat has sunk.

The phrase became absorbed into common language as a term referring to the feeling of empty hopelessness one experiences when faced with a vast expanse of watery oblivion. Staring out into Lake Windermere, the great poet William Bleak was sufficiently moved by the still blueness that he wrote his masterpiece "Songs of Death", eventually going on to kick-start the goth movement.

With the advent of air travel in the twentieth century, it became applicable to the sky, as well as the sea: many an early airman was deemed lost to the Blue Screen of Death (although quite a few of them simply turned out to have gotten slightly lost and landed in the wrong place). Over time the Blue Screen has become synonymous with loss, emptiness and to some, the Devil.

The association of the colour blue with death, watery or otherwise, is readily visible throughout modern civilisation. Household cleaners such as bleach are packaged in blue bottles, in memory of those who, when the product was new to the market, mistook it for cheap ouzo and passed away through dissolution of the digestive tract. When one sings "The Blues" one is reflecting on the brevity of life, and the oblivion that awaits in death. Cheese and onion crisps, known to be the foulest of all snack foods, often come packaged in blue to ward off the purchaser.

With this in mind, that the "Blue Screen of Death" is the most chilling and deadly entity in computer science is no surprise. They have been plaguing computer operators since someone had the bright idea of connecting a screen to a computer. This is one of the most puzzling phenomina in computing since during the 60's, 70's and 80's the Blue Screen of Death was able to manifest itself in full blueness on green and amber monochrome cathode, black and white, and two tone LCD screens

The Blue Screen of Death was slipped into the very core of the Windows operating system at its inception, by a malicious developer with a sick interest in pagan rites. It is rumoured that when one sees the Blue Screen of Death on a computer screen it wrenches a tiny part of your soul and binds it to the afflicted machine. Repeated exposure, legend has it, will eventually drain one's spirit, leaving a living corpse, pale and restless, existing without purpose and an unquenchable thirst for caffeine.

A recent evolution of the "Blue Screen of Death" feature in Windows Vista has serious side effects. Instead of simply displaying a "blue screen", the new variant displays random flashing colors in a superhypnobrainwave pattern, causing the user to have a seizure and die within 195 hours of continuous seizure. The seizures are extremely painful for the 195 hours, then the seizure-ee suddenly feels a jabbing pain in their lower upper thigh and dies. 96.3141592% of these seizures last for the full 195 hours. The colors of the screen randomly flash between red, green and blue and actually cause death, so this variant of the "Blue Screen" should instead be called an epileptic screen of red, green and blue death, but Microsoft have decided to make the feature part of their new family of software - creating "Windows Live Screen of Death Beta".

The blue screen of death has had many social consequences. The Catholic Church has condemmed the blue screen of death for promoting a "culture of death". Instead, the church favors the "Ooops" kernel messages generated by linux. The phrase "Ooops" is a sacred part of Roman Catholic tradition, as it is the sound an Irish women makes when she realizes that the rythem method of birth control doesn't work.

A recent study conducted by an up and coming university Massachusetts Institute of Technology, located in Chicago, has managed to determine the Blue Screen of Death as cause of other incidents. It was an extensive study, conducted for over 30 years by a group of under-fed under-grad students.

Incidents: broken computer equipment; violent crime and suicide increase; loss of data and home made movies; wet floor and terrified expression on the face of a person that used the computer last; mysterious deaths of occupants in high-tech residences; increase in drugs abuse; and many more.

It is also possible to see a yellow screen of death, if you are colour-blind. While the BSOD has been known to cause many many heartattacks, it has also been known to cause coniptions as well as the ability to gain super human strength and shoot eye beams into your computer monitor. Please, do not have a heart attack if it happens to you.
“Damn You Bill Gates.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Blue screen of death
by kodiac1 July 05, 2006
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Nuke

Nuke is the greatest tool of peace ever made. It prevent wars and, then it the war starts, nuke finish it quickly.

Nuking Stuff has proven popular over the last few years, especially with nazis, right-wing religious groups and crazed uncles. By far, the most popular nuking method is the old 'drop a nuke' but there are also such more intelligent methods, used by people like George Bush - these include 'get a clever person to plan it for you'.

Nuking stuff to music has also recently become very popular. 'Nuke Music' consists of terrorist bands such as System of a Down, Rage Against the Machine and N-Sync. Professional nukers will also listen to Britney Spears, but this is only for advanced nukers. Another skill often attempted by Nukers is NUKING IN TIME TO MUSIC. This type of nuking involves a rhythm and a beat, and plenty of time and effort. Nukes are launched by correctly stepping on one of four arrows at the right time, the more preciseley the arrow is stepped on the more people are killed. A good Nuker can kill a few billion people (hell, it's China) in one round (a full war takes three rounds).
Nuclear recipe

Here is a recipe to a nuke i found in the oval office

2 kilo's uranium 2 kilo's pie 1 very big empty bomb 60,000 cookies 1 G. bush 1 land to nuke 0 braincells Much insanity

To make:

1. Mix the uranium with the pppie and put it in george bush.

2. Then, after a day, take bush his shit and put it in the bomb.

3. Add cookies

4. Drop it at the land you selected

Done!

The small letter: Uranium can only be found in bush his secret bunker or the planet ur-anus.
by kodiac1 July 12, 2006
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Foundation Hospitals

Foundation Hospitals are hospitals that are run by charitable trusts. Doctors in these hospitals enjoy excellent pay and working conditions, usually not having to work lengthy hours as much of their work is carried out by volunteers.

The hospitals treat not only human patients, but animals also, and the King Cardiff IV foundation hospital in Wales is known for pioneering work in allowing former Welsh miners to carry out brain surgery on horses. The foundation hospital in Bath, England is well known for its exceptional treatment of patients, who have access to an extensive collection of magazines and television channels, with particular favourites of the patients being monkey porn.
Foundation Hospitals r0x0r your s0x0rz!!
by kodiac1 July 03, 2006
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Lacrosse

Lacrosse is a sport which one plays when the college is too small to have a football team. The main goal of the sport is unclear, but the primary aspects of it include shirtless, sweaty men-women chasing after each other with butterfly nets.

Lacrosse was clearMYAH!ly invented by a raving madman. History says that the raving madman in question may have been Aztec or Mayan, but no one is terribly sure. Lacrosse saw a surge in popularity when Pope Julius II declared ex-cathedra that "soccer is gay (sic)". Since then, there has been a significant amount of emnity between soccer players and lacrosse players.

More recently, lacrosse is the first sport that allowed woodland creatures to manage teams, illiciting huge support from pro-woodland creature interest groups everywhere (and dismay from pro-crustacean groups everywhere).

Before one can even sign up for a pMYAH!osition as a lacrosse team, one's gender must be ambiguous. It makes no difference whatsoever to how the sport is played, but it seems to be the case nonetheless.

Players attempt to catch as many butterflies as possible with their modified butterfly nets. It is a foul is a player hits another player in the crotch with his or her butterfly net. It is also a foul isMYAH! the butterfly eats any player on the team.

There is no rule number three!

If a girl dates a lacrosse player for the sole purpose of receiving sex, the girl may be referred to as a "lacrossetitute". This definitioMYAH!n can be supplied in a surprisingly large number of circumstances.

Ryan Tracy...Yes. Colter Thoma...No. You too, Cranston, and Will, and Brenton.

"what's a potato?"

calen wilson

RNG's ASSEMBLE!!!!!!!!!!! NAKED CRANSTON NAKED PLUMMER
“Lacrosse is a faggot college activity!”

~ George Carlin on Lacrosse
by Kodiac1 December 10, 2006
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new

New is a synthetic material and it was originally developed as a rubber replacement. But it is nowadays used everywhere from igloos to spandex pants and it has mostly replaced old. The first new factories were located in Jersey. Later there were so much new production there that people called it humorously New Jersey. Nowadays there is a movement lead by Ashton Kutcher against using new because large corporations are accused of using child labour in the production of new. If you have a lot of otherwise useless old you can polish it with new.

New is manufactured and sold all over the world, but it can sometimes be rather expensive. In that case old can be a good substitute of new. If you are really handy you can make new yourself.
“Why can't it be old?”

~ Oscar Wilde on new
by kodiac1 July 04, 2006
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Wtf

WTF (Windows Text File) is a plain-text file format developed by Microsoft. It is intended for storing text information in readable form. Many users report problems opening it, because most systems don't know what to do with the .wtf file extension. The resulting error messsage "WTF? Unknown file extension!" is widely known. The chat acronym WTF is commonly used to signify uncertainty or unpleasant surprise.

As part of Microsoft's effort to develop free, open, user-friendly software environments, it is constantly improving file formats. After WMV (Windows Media Video) and (WMA - Windows Media Audio), it published proposals for WMP (Windows Media Picture) and WTF (Windows Text File) in May, 2006.

"WTF?" is the usual response by many users, who are not sure how Microsoft intends to compete with TXT format. Microsoft's release timeline calls for the TXT format to be made obsolete within months, by disallowing Windows Vista to open .txt files.
System Requirements

* '$30.00' license fee for usage
* Cheese grater
* 76 IQ maximum (any more and KERNEL32 takes a dive)
wtf
by Kodiac1 December 12, 2006
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