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Joshua James's definitions

hypocrite

A woman who berates her man for peeing without washing his hands even though he has only touched his dick - an object she doesn't think twice about popping in her mouth.
Look Emily, if you want to prove you are not a hypocrite, I'll go back in there and wash my hands.. then you go in there and suck on the faucet I just touched and see which one of us gets botcholism first.
by Joshua James October 17, 2006
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arm pussy

When the skin at a womans arm pit folds to resemble a pussy. Arm pussy, often abreviated to "AP" is the ultimate form of voyuerism. Firstly, women don't hide this part of their body in public, but more importantly AP is a very close representation to a womans actual vagina in terms of lip tightness, and hairyness. AP is a public preview of private nudity.
Christ, check out the the arm pussy on that chick at the next table.
by Joshua James October 9, 2006
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toilet brush

An impliment for removing skid marks from the toilet bowl. Manufacturers tend to stick to the retarded notion that it should be white.
Bill: I used the toilet brush the other day because I know you hate a messy bowl.
Anne: I know. I had to use your toothbrush to get the dried shit off the white bristles.
by Joshua James October 18, 2006
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spiritual ego

A person, usually vegetarian, who has read ALL self help books, done all the courses ( especially The Forum and Psi Seminars ). They have gone on spiritual retreats, and personally met the Dali Lama. Now they dedicate their lives to helping others.

Regardless of this you can tell instantly that they are completely fucked up.
That chick from Boulder offered to give me a free colonic if I share my inner child with her, but she scares the shit out of me.. she's a complete spiritual ego.
by Joshua James October 9, 2006
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O'neils

Breasts

Tatum O'Neil > Tatums > Tits
Holy fuck, her O'neils are stunning!
by Joshua James October 9, 2006
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telnet

A communication protocol sometimes used to connect to internet servers from remote hosts.

Seldom used due to it's inability to display pornography.
telnet playboy.com
Connecting to playboy.com
login: hughhefner
password: ********

hughhefner % titties
titties: Command not found
by Joshua James October 13, 2006
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magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.
Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.
by Joshua James December 10, 2006
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