Skip to main content

Joshua James's definitions

magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.
Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.
by Joshua James December 10, 2006
mugGet the magic turtle mug.

toilet brush

An impliment for removing skid marks from the toilet bowl. Manufacturers tend to stick to the retarded notion that it should be white.
Bill: I used the toilet brush the other day because I know you hate a messy bowl.
Anne: I know. I had to use your toothbrush to get the dried shit off the white bristles.
by Joshua James October 18, 2006
mugGet the toilet brush mug.

FMS

Fuck me socks, often worn with fuck-me-pumps ( FMP )
God that girls such a slut, she's wearing FMS under her FMPs
by Joshua James October 18, 2006
mugGet the FMS mug.

hypocrite

A woman who berates her man for peeing without washing his hands even though he has only touched his dick - an object she doesn't think twice about popping in her mouth.
Look Emily, if you want to prove you are not a hypocrite, I'll go back in there and wash my hands.. then you go in there and suck on the faucet I just touched and see which one of us gets botcholism first.
by Joshua James October 17, 2006
mugGet the hypocrite mug.

telnet

A communication protocol sometimes used to connect to internet servers from remote hosts.

Seldom used due to it's inability to display pornography.
telnet playboy.com
Connecting to playboy.com
login: hughhefner
password: ********

hughhefner % titties
titties: Command not found
by Joshua James October 13, 2006
mugGet the telnet mug.

typewriter

A device with a keyboard that makes slapping sounds when you try to use it to connect to the internet.
Typical usage by a teenager:

www.myspace.com
www.myspace.com
www.myspace.com
www.myspace.com

Jesus - this fucking piece of shit typewriter doesn't have wireless.
by Joshua James October 12, 2006
mugGet the typewriter mug.

Tokyo Surprise

The somewhat disappointing realization one has shortly after fucking a hot Asian hooker in the ass for $3 that something is horribly wrong.

It becomes obvious somewhat belatedly, that although this is the hottest chick you've ever banged, a quick post-coital inspection reveals that she appears to have a penis.
Honey, there must be some mistake - I must have gotten it from a toilet seat - or maybe that fuckin Tokyo Surprise.
by Joshua James October 12, 2006
mugGet the Tokyo Surprise mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email