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Joshua B. Wright's definitions

cognitive impaction

Noun:

Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.

Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.

Also see mental constipation.
"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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flawless victory

Expression:

An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters as an appraisal of a particularly apt or acute rejoinder - the winning move in a war of words.
H4x0r J03: "LOLR0FL DUD3Z U WRI73 F4NFICZ??!!11!! 0MFGROFL!!!!1!! TH47 I5 3NUF T0 M4K3Z YU0 4LL T3H 0T4KU F4NB0I L4M3RZ!!!"
Mark: "Not like your fifty gigabyte collection of pirated DBZ mpegs huh?"
Dave: "Flawless victory!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 10, 2004
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Drown Baby Moses

Expression:

In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.

As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
"You think THAT'S bad? Well, I have three words for you my friend: Drown Baby Moses."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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evil l33t

Adjective:

1. When something is so l33t as to be positively wicked.

2. Something l33t, but in an evil way.
H4x0r J03: "OMFGW7F DUD3!??1!! U M4D3 T3H C4S3 M0D FR0M T3H W0ND3R BR4!?!?? TH4T IS 3VI1 L33T!!!1!!"

"Even Pete, a sworn Darth Vader fanboy, was forced to admit that Sephiroth was the personification of evil l33t."
by Joshua B. Wright April 9, 2004
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jessied

Verb, past tense:

When a likeable supporting character is killed off early on in the development of a video game's story, he or she is said to have been "jessied"; especially apt when said character's death is part of a plot device or when his or her continued existence has become inconvenient for the script writer.

A reference to the ill-fated lass Jessie, a supporting character in the uber-popular rpg Final Fantasy 7.
"Sure, the wisecracking imp was a riot, but deep down we all knew that he'd be jessied before the next act."

"She whom cruel fate hath jessied, Urban Dictionary shall make immortal."
by Joshua B. Wright July 6, 2006
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Arm Cannon

Noun:

Megaman's preferred weapon; a retractable prosthesis that fires plasma charges.
"...and so, with a final blast of his arm cannon, Megaman laid the diabolical Dr. Wily's latest mad creation to waste!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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v2

Adjective, Abbreviation:

An abbreviation of "version 2.0," it is a naming convention most often employed ironically by programmers to denote shipping commercial software packages more accurately described by "v1" or even "beta."
"As usual, v2 was what version 1 should've been."

"Personally, I'm going to wait for v2 - I don't enjoy beta testing."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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