Joshua B. Wright's definitions
Noun:
Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.
Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.
Also see mental constipation.
Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.
Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.
Also see mental constipation.
"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
Get the cognitive impaction mug."...and so, with a final blast of his arm cannon, Megaman laid the diabolical Dr. Wily's latest mad creation to waste!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters to convey their complete contempt for another chatter or poster in response to a particularly asinine question or comment.
An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters to convey their complete contempt for another chatter or poster in response to a particularly asinine question or comment.
H4x0r J03: "LOLROFLHAHA U F4GG07!1!! T3H H4X0RZ L33T 5KI11Z H4V3 0WND YUO!!!!1!!"
Pete: "Drink poison."
Pete: "Drink poison."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.
As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.
As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
Get the Drown Baby Moses mug.An inability to articulate one's thoughts or ideas, resulting in significant psychological distress and frustration.
Typically, this form of cognitive impaction is self-resolving. However, in cases where productive interchange with the afflicted is urgently needed, a deadline may be administered; indeed, this has proven to be one of the most effective treatments for stubborn cases of mental constipation.
Typically, this form of cognitive impaction is self-resolving. However, in cases where productive interchange with the afflicted is urgently needed, a deadline may be administered; indeed, this has proven to be one of the most effective treatments for stubborn cases of mental constipation.
Mark: "So, you know, it's like... uh, er... damn, you know, that, uh... thing!"
Dave: "Yeesh. It's too bad that they don't make a laxative for mental constipation!"
Dave: "Yeesh. It's too bad that they don't make a laxative for mental constipation!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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An abbreviation of "version 2.0," it is a naming convention most often employed ironically by programmers to denote shipping commercial software packages more accurately described by "v1" or even "beta."
An abbreviation of "version 2.0," it is a naming convention most often employed ironically by programmers to denote shipping commercial software packages more accurately described by "v1" or even "beta."
"As usual, v2 was what version 1 should've been."
"Personally, I'm going to wait for v2 - I don't enjoy beta testing."
"Personally, I'm going to wait for v2 - I don't enjoy beta testing."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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When a likeable supporting character is killed off early on in the development of a video game's story, he or she is said to have been "jessied"; especially apt when said character's death is part of a plot device or when his or her continued existence has become inconvenient for the script writer.
A reference to the ill-fated lass Jessie, a supporting character in the uber-popular rpg Final Fantasy 7.
When a likeable supporting character is killed off early on in the development of a video game's story, he or she is said to have been "jessied"; especially apt when said character's death is part of a plot device or when his or her continued existence has become inconvenient for the script writer.
A reference to the ill-fated lass Jessie, a supporting character in the uber-popular rpg Final Fantasy 7.
"Sure, the wisecracking imp was a riot, but deep down we all knew that he'd be jessied before the next act."
"She whom cruel fate hath jessied, Urban Dictionary shall make immortal."
"She whom cruel fate hath jessied, Urban Dictionary shall make immortal."
by Joshua B. Wright July 6, 2006
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