15 definitions by Joshua B. Wright

Adjective, Abbreviation:

An abbreviation of "version 2.0," it is a naming convention most often employed ironically by programmers to denote shipping commercial software packages more accurately described by "v1" or even "beta."
"As usual, v2 was what version 1 should've been."

"Personally, I'm going to wait for v2 - I don't enjoy beta testing."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.

As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
"You think THAT'S bad? Well, I have three words for you my friend: Drown Baby Moses."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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Best known for its exploits as a rogue NES developer, Color Dreams was the only third party software company to produce unlicensed NES carts without being successfully sued. By employing an embarrassingly simple hack, Color Dreams engineers were able to create game carts that bypassed the NES's authentication circuitry without violating Nintendo's intellectual property.

This isn't to say that Color Dreams was a success, mind you; aside from its creative hacking practices, Color Dreams is probably most famous as the development house that gave birth to the notorious Bible Adventures - a gaudy slog through Old Testament cliches notable only for what may well be the biggest gaffe in the history of gaming.

Amazingly enough, Color Dreams dwindles on under its subsidiary, "Wisdom Tree Software." Indeed, game collectors and those of morbid curiosity should take note that as of this writing, it was even possible to order Color Dreams titles through a 1-800 number. A bit of googling should reveal the specifics - contact information has been withheld here in the interests of the innocent.
"Sure, we've had a few duds - but we're no Color Dreams."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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1. When something is so l33t as to be positively wicked.

2. Something l33t, but in an evil way.
H4x0r J03: "OMFGW7F DUD3!??1!! U M4D3 T3H C4S3 M0D FR0M T3H W0ND3R BR4!?!?? TH4T IS 3VI1 L33T!!!1!!"

"Even Pete, a sworn Darth Vader fanboy, was forced to admit that Sephiroth was the personification of evil l33t."
by Joshua B. Wright April 9, 2004
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An inability to articulate one's thoughts or ideas, resulting in significant psychological distress and frustration.

Typically, this form of cognitive impaction is self-resolving. However, in cases where productive interchange with the afflicted is urgently needed, a deadline may be administered; indeed, this has proven to be one of the most effective treatments for stubborn cases of mental constipation.
Mark: "So, you know, it's like... uh, er... damn, you know, that, uh... thing!"
Dave: "Yeesh. It's too bad that they don't make a laxative for mental constipation!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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Verb, past tense:

When a likeable supporting character is killed off early on in the development of a video game's story, he or she is said to have been "jessied"; especially apt when said character's death is part of a plot device or when his or her continued existence has become inconvenient for the script writer.

A reference to the ill-fated lass Jessie, a supporting character in the uber-popular rpg Final Fantasy 7.
"Sure, the wisecracking imp was a riot, but deep down we all knew that he'd be jessied before the next act."

"She whom cruel fate hath jessied, Urban Dictionary shall make immortal."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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Often cited as one of the worst video games ever made, Bible Adventures was a 2D platforming title produced for the NES by the now infamous video game company Color Dreams while doing business under the name of "Wisdom Tree Software."

In truth, Bible Adventures was merely a sub-par NES game that probably would have faded away into pop culture oblivion were it not for the notoriety of its development house and one acutely humorous game play quirk that made it possible to drown baby Moses.

Otherwise destined to be forgotten, Bible Adventures thus endures - an immortal testament to the endless comic potential when religion, entertainment and capitalism collide.
"In my estimation, Episode II is the Bible Adventures of the silver screen."

"The plan was flawless, and the Pope himself made a huge blue hat out of the strangely colored Bible Adventures cartridges. He was happy his sheep were finally able to praise Jesus through three gloriously unplayable games on a single baby blue colored NES cartridge!" - Sean Baby
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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