Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

mad for it

mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.

John: "Fuckin' MAD FOR IT!!!"
Liam: "wha' 'bout?"
John: "Don' Kno'!! but fucking TUUUUUUUUUUUNE!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006

fishwich

the correct way to order a fish sandwich in any fish and chip shop. A fish sandwich is a buttered breadcake with a heavily battered fish (normally cod or haddock (or even the sick combination: CODDOCK)) inside, oozing grease.

Harry: "One fishwich please Squire!"
George: "Yes, very good sir."
Harry: "Cod if you would please, i can't stand that bastardin' bastard Haddock."

by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006

chip shop fart

A guff perpetrated in a chip shop that because of the envioroment nobody hears or smells!! The perfect crime!

Ian: (silently thinking to himself) "Take that you customers! A chip shop fart to your lardy selves"
Customers, oblivious.

by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006

slave ship

Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.

Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006

Javert

Inspector Javert is the nemesis of the criminal sissy Jean Valjean in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. He is suave, sophisticated, handsome and aboove all ruthless. He was born inside a jail (or a Gaol) and accidentally (and unfortunately) fell off a bridge to his death. To show what a real man Javert was it is important to look at his work. He was a undercover agent, infiltrating the sweaty student rebellion in gay paris. He was an awesome police officer, never giving up the chase. Indeed, Javert was, to anyone, a role model.

Javert is also a verb, derived from the same meaning. To javert someone is to never stop chasing them up for something.

"I'm Javert, do not forget me, do not forget my name, 24601"

"Oh geezer, my german teacher is really javerting me for my homework, maybe i should Jean Valjean it"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 13, 2006

yellow pages

1) Big book which has many uses

2) your history coursework after you've "accidently" pissed on it.

1) Uses of the yellow pages;
Finding dominatrixes
Making short/dumpy girls easier to kiss
Destroying your enemies
Fuel for your fire, when you run out of babies
and many, many more

2)
Jack: "OH! SHIT! I just pissed on my History coursework! just look at these yellow pages!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006

Vinegar

Condiment, essential to any honky white man's supper. Tasting of Quail eggs, HE-MAN once remarked "My goodness, i wouldn't be where i am today if it were not for Vinegar's acidity"

Yes Vinegar is tax-free, and for good reason, for indeed a dak chapter of Atlantis' history, is where they tried to tax vinegar, and the city sank like an unsinkable liner without sufficient lifeboats.

"oh man i love vinegar"

"how dare you tax my vin,,,,mnmmmgh,,hmd blop blop blop"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 31, 2006