Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

yellow pages

1) Big book which has many uses

2) your history coursework after you've "accidently" pissed on it.

1) Uses of the yellow pages;
Finding dominatrixes
Making short/dumpy girls easier to kiss
Destroying your enemies
Fuel for your fire, when you run out of babies
and many, many more

2)
Jack: "OH! SHIT! I just pissed on my History coursework! just look at these yellow pages!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006

Second tier player

Term used to describe any sportstar who is not in form or of top standard. These players have a weak following of numptys who no nothing of the certain sport and everything about erectile disfunctions. For example the man who says "No! Keiran Richardson is not a second tier player" is a) a knob jockey and b) has erectile disfunction.

Here is a list of second tier players; Jermaine Jenas (football/soccer), Stuart Abbott (Rugby Union), Darren Clarke (golf), Pedro de la Rosa (F1) and many more

Dwayne: "You know Dave, that charlton F.C. squad is just a load of Second tier players!"
Dave: "Yea, rarely have i seen a more Second tier team! It now only needs an average second tier player; Phil Neville"

by Jeffrey Douglas September 4, 2006

period pals

Lesbians.

Coming from the theory that women who live together will eventually come into a menstrual harmony and go through their cycle at the same time.

Sam: "Them two behind the bar! They've been together years now. Bloody period pals, i'm tellin' ya!"

by Jeffrey Douglas February 7, 2007

mad for it

mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.

John: "Fuckin' MAD FOR IT!!!"
Liam: "wha' 'bout?"
John: "Don' Kno'!! but fucking TUUUUUUUUUUUNE!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006

grab-a-granny

The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.

Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.

Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"

OR

Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."

by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006

slave ship

Comparison to be used when describing a tightly packed area, or mode of transport. Comes from when the slave trade was in full swing, and P&O ferries dropped their standards to optimise profit margins.

Harry: "Joshua! This train is bloody packed! It's worse than a bleeding slave ship!"
Josh: "Yea, i know. Smell's 'n' all!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 20, 2006

Vinegar

Condiment, essential to any honky white man's supper. Tasting of Quail eggs, HE-MAN once remarked "My goodness, i wouldn't be where i am today if it were not for Vinegar's acidity"

Yes Vinegar is tax-free, and for good reason, for indeed a dak chapter of Atlantis' history, is where they tried to tax vinegar, and the city sank like an unsinkable liner without sufficient lifeboats.

"oh man i love vinegar"

"how dare you tax my vin,,,,mnmmmgh,,hmd blop blop blop"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 31, 2006