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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

wonky bollocks

pro-noun used as insult to anybody showing poor co-ordination
Henry: "Oh adam you've dropped that frisbee again you f*****g wonky bollock bastard"
Adam: "i really am a wonky bollocks minge"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 13, 2006
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hard work

1) description of a task that requeires (too) much effort to complete.

2) description of a customer who breaks your balls making you do whatever they want and still leaving unsatisfied.
1)

" I was shagging that bird over from Hull last night, and it was only when i looked at her face i realised it was too much hard work. "

2)

" Jesus, he was hard work. Comes in here, asks for a pizza, with a pasta bake for a topping and a tiramusu for a side. And this is a Fish & Chip shop! Twat.
by Jeffrey Douglas December 12, 2008
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blustery

Windy. So windy in fact, that many hazards arise in 'blustery' conditions. Such hazards include windswept appearances, missing pieces of clothes from the washing lines and cold ears.
Used solely in the north so hardened grizzly northerners can talk about their constant struggle against the evils of blustery days.
A day in the north was very windy,.....
John: "By heck, it in't half blustery out there'
Harry: "Aye, blowin' a bastardin' gale"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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Dinoman

Dinoman was actually a real dinosaur, apparantly not dissimilar to a Velociraptor. Dinoman comes about, as the Stenonychosaurus waws believed to be evolving into a humanoid figure. As one can imagine, it causes great hilarity to hear dinoman's catchphrases, such as "Chamoon, bruvas, i be a jurassic jimmy" or "i be one prehistoric mofo, hee hee"
"Dinoman has an intelligance rating of 10"
"Dino man, he be a superhero mutha fucker"
by Jeffrey Douglas July 27, 2006
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mad for it

mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.
John: "Fuckin' MAD FOR IT!!!"
Liam: "wha' 'bout?"
John: "Don' Kno'!! but fucking TUUUUUUUUUUUNE!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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grab-a-granny

The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.

Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.
Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"

OR

Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."
by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006
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chip shop fart

A guff perpetrated in a chip shop that because of the envioroment nobody hears or smells!! The perfect crime!
Ian: (silently thinking to himself) "Take that you customers! A chip shop fart to your lardy selves"
Customers, oblivious.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006
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