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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

grab-a-granny

The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.

Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.
Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"

OR

Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."
by Jeffrey Douglas November 24, 2006
mugGet the grab-a-grannymug.

mad for it

mad for it is a condition suffered exclusively in the greater manchester region. Becoming mad for it often stems from over-excitement from listening to the happy mondays or stone roses. Being mad for it means something similar to a state of excited anticipation. The after effects of being mad for it are hangovers, a sausage sellotaped to one's neck and a really ugly bird who is the cousin of John Squire. apparantly.
John: "Fuckin' MAD FOR IT!!!"
Liam: "wha' 'bout?"
John: "Don' Kno'!! but fucking TUUUUUUUUUUUNE!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
mugGet the mad for itmug.

wikipedia battle

When history coursework simply isn't fun enough! Or perhaps when one is trying to research a very minor topic that wikipedia cannot offer, one might slip into a wikipedia battle with an unsuspecting Mick Hucknall look-a-like next to you!

A wikipedia battle, also known as a random article battle, makes full use of that magic button, RANDOM ARTICLE. The object is to get better pages than your filthy mancunian red-headed friend or colleague. Normally it is easy to spot who wins, for example X-men would beat Conneticut (naturally). However, if it is to close to call, for example Godzilla and Spiderman, one would call for an independant adjudicator to decide. If that person is also gay and sitting on that prosthetic penis of a fence, then the scores remain as they were entering the round. Most matches are first to 12.

In the history of the wikipedia battle, there have been many engagements many ending in bloodshed. One match even went to 50 much to the annoyance of both participants.
Dave: Hey, fancy a wikipedia battle?
Mick Hucknall: Yea, i am ginger!
Dave:Go!
Mick Hucknall: Aha! Simply Red! What have you got, cocknose?
Dave: Super ameobas.
Mick Hucknall: Pfft. You win.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 2, 2006
mugGet the wikipedia battlemug.

Clumsy

Adj. Poorly co-ordinated. Bumbling ninny.
Blind People

Jack: "Pass the that plate please."
CRASH
Jack: "Oh you clumsy blind twat!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
mugGet the Clumsymug.

he-bitch-man-slap

One of the choice weapons in any reputable pimp's arsenal. Not quite as good as a pimp slap, as the he-bitch-man-slap can only be used to pimps to male gigolos. However any such threat of the he-bitch-man-slap should be backed up by a wavering of the pimp hand and should make the bitch cower like jelly being eaten by a wobbly man from jim davidson's generation game.

In short: Weapon for controlling He-bitches
"Don't make me he-bitch-man-slap you man!"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 30, 2006
mugGet the he-bitch-man-slapmug.

teasing

Teacher: "Oh, dear, John! John, JOHN! Stop teasing harry because he is fat!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006
mugGet the teasingmug.

tablature

Musical letters for weird musical types (esp. guitar). Used by people who depress others with their guitar playing in a large communal area by playing Jack Johnson ballads or Damien Rice derges.
Fred: "Life is bleak man, so i'm gonna play this depressing song i learned from tablature"
Ewan, looking depressed.
by Jeffrey Douglas September 18, 2008
mugGet the tablaturemug.

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