Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

chip shop fart

A guff perpetrated in a chip shop that because of the envioroment nobody hears or smells!! The perfect crime!

Ian: (silently thinking to himself) "Take that you customers! A chip shop fart to your lardy selves"
Customers, oblivious.

by Jeffrey Douglas September 3, 2006

wonky bollocks

pro-noun used as insult to anybody showing poor co-ordination

Henry: "Oh adam you've dropped that frisbee again you f*****g wonky bollock bastard"
Adam: "i really am a wonky bollocks minge"

by Jeffrey Douglas September 13, 2006

hard work

1) description of a task that requeires (too) much effort to complete.

2) description of a customer who breaks your balls making you do whatever they want and still leaving unsatisfied.

1)

" I was shagging that bird over from Hull last night, and it was only when i looked at her face i realised it was too much hard work. "

2)

" Jesus, he was hard work. Comes in here, asks for a pizza, with a pasta bake for a topping and a tiramusu for a side. And this is a Fish & Chip shop! Twat.

by Jeffrey Douglas December 12, 2008

12

Without any doubt what so ever, 12 is the greatest number of all time. it's not likely that anyone does'nt know this but for those of you who want to be reminded of just how good 12 is here... Months in a Year? Hours in a.m? some of the finest rugby players have worn 12, the number of the inside centre jersey in union. The board of friends officialy recognized this, and one of it's main aims is to spread the knowledge of this fact. In the history of the universe,only 12 things have happened, numer 3 being dinosaurs and number 11 being star wars. this isn't a crackpot theory, throughout any given day you will see at least three 12 references. Snoop Dogg's favourite number is also 12.

"everyone knows 12 is great. even dead people still appreciate the 12th of the month"

by Jeffrey Douglas August 6, 2006

offside

a place in football where you are classed as a sinner, and any goal you score from an offside position will be ignored by everybody who is onside.

A place in Rugby where it is easier to hurt/maim/tackle/cheat your opposition, and easier to play the whole game. Usually being offside in rugby will end up in a penalty to your opposition. Bastards.

Mrs. McGrath: "Billy! You're offside! Get back!"
Billy: "FUCK YOU MUM!"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006

Fish and Chip Shop

A place where the creme de la creme go to boogy on down with the local riff raff, whilst enjoying the shop's specialities such as Cod&Chips. It indeed would be fair to say the Chip shop is a good insight into the class system in Britain today. Workers in the chip shop are always strapping and gorgeous as the grease in the air is good for their skin.

"What ho, old boy, let's go down to the Fish and Chip Shop for one of each"

"Quick lads, let's go down to the Fish and Chip Shop for one of each"

by Jeffrey Douglas July 14, 2006

nimble

adj. meaning agile. Nimble people are often thin and frail. Piano players are nimble, weak and frail. They would be no longer nimble if their fingers were cut off, so perhaps being nimble isnt all its cracked up to be

E.g. Jason Robinson

Frank: "Woe, woo, oh, the way he prances along is so nimble! so gracious! so elegant"
Baz: "But he is weak and frail. What good is there in being nimble, when you can't lift a car??"

by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006