Jake's definitions

wardrobe malfunction

a situation where a part of your clothing comes off, exposing one of your naughty bits

During SuperBowl halftime, Justin attempted to rip Janet's top off but only tore off the right side thus exposing one boob instead of both.

by Jake February 3, 2004

Priametry

The business of measuring one's penis with a ruler or tape-measure.

German and other central european penis's can be measured with a 6" ruler as they average 5.3" long (measured on the top surface while erect) but Irish penis's require a 12" ruler as they are typically 6-1/2" or longer.

by Jake February 3, 2004

prom

To the students: an excuse for horny young teenagers to get together for a night of drinking, fornication and promiscuity, how romantic!

To business: a corporate-controlled/ promoted high school "institution" that makes the dress shops, hairdressers, flowershops, limo companies, suit rental places, etc more wealthy.

To the students who don't get to go: a lifelong regret, an occasion that fat chicks can not get a date for.Makes more people unhappy than any one other thing in highschool...

I borrowed Dad's car, then spent $400 on renting a suit, buying flowers, tickets to the prom, some liquor and a locket on a chain for her. Oh, and condoms. She bought a dress, got her hair and 20 nails done, bought shoes,tear-off underwear,a purse, and got a horrendous period an hour before midnight.
So she gave me a blowjob just like any other date, and she's still a virgin.

by Jake February 3, 2004

box social

A social get-together that involved the auctioning off of boxed lunches prepared by the women. A potential sweetheart might let her man of choice know how she had decorated the box she prepared so that he would try harder to be the one to successfully buy it at auction. This was a way for young women to show off their meal-making skills. He who bought the lunch would share the meal with the one who prepared it.

My grandparents met this way; my grandmother was Amish and my Scottish grandfather paid a HUGE price to purchase her box lunch.

Violet decorated her box lunch with daisies so that Milton would know which one to bid on at the box social.

by Jake February 3, 2004

hot box

noun, railroading term for an end bearing on a axle which has become extremely hot due to lack of lubrication.

A hot box is often the cause of a derailment (the train coming off the tracks)

by Jake February 3, 2004

fuck toy

A female used only for sexual ends. Demeaning.

She's a fuck toy, she'll let me do anything I want to her, at anytime.

by Jake February 3, 2004

shaved beaver

refers to a woman who has shaved her pubic area (her beaver)

I told her I was tired of cunnilingus because she had so much twat hair that got in the way, so next time she showed up with a shaved beaver.

by Jake February 3, 2004