8 definitions by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger
Adjective
A self-coined malapropism and Freudian slip by the Short-fingered Vulgarian/President-elect as he attempted to conduct sensitive US-Chinese diplomacy with a very-classy, bigly-nuanced tweet.
A self-coined malapropism and Freudian slip by the Short-fingered Vulgarian/President-elect as he attempted to conduct sensitive US-Chinese diplomacy with a very-classy, bigly-nuanced tweet.
"China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters – rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented act."
-Donald (Drumpf) Trump
President-elect of the US and Effing Moron
-Donald (Drumpf) Trump
President-elect of the US and Effing Moron
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger December 17, 2016
- noun
an “artistic” movement reflective of post-WWII America’s industrial dominance. Just as GM was able to slap together shitty cars & dump them on the “free” world, American "artists" figured they could slap any shit they wanted onto a canvas & declare it artistically "relevant". As the philosopher P.T. Barnum observed, a sucker’s born every minute, & so the shit sold.
A major reason these artists sucked was they couldn’t stay inside the lines. They side-stepped this seeming career-killer by ignoring the lines & marketing themselves as rebellious, anarchic, idiosyncratic & nihilistic which explains A LOT about why the “art” looks the way it does… when you set out to paint shit, you end up with art that looks like shit.
Eventually the art world caught on to the scam, forcing the “artistes” to rebrand themselves as trailblazers in other bogus schools like “Post-painterly Abstraction”, “Color Field Painting”, “Lyrical Abstraction”, “Action Painting”, “Minimal Art”, “Post-minimalism”, & eventually some crap labeled "Neo-expressionism", a style so insignificant it barely escaped the late-70s. Given the paucity of talent in the artists who inspired them (e.g., Amedeo Modigliani, Max Jacob) it’s no wonder their works have the aesthetic appeal of a dog’s breakfast. Truth be told, most were frustrated poseurs who couldn't handle composition & perspective, & burned out on cocaine in the 70s to escape their anger at just missing the free-love movement of the 60s.
an “artistic” movement reflective of post-WWII America’s industrial dominance. Just as GM was able to slap together shitty cars & dump them on the “free” world, American "artists" figured they could slap any shit they wanted onto a canvas & declare it artistically "relevant". As the philosopher P.T. Barnum observed, a sucker’s born every minute, & so the shit sold.
A major reason these artists sucked was they couldn’t stay inside the lines. They side-stepped this seeming career-killer by ignoring the lines & marketing themselves as rebellious, anarchic, idiosyncratic & nihilistic which explains A LOT about why the “art” looks the way it does… when you set out to paint shit, you end up with art that looks like shit.
Eventually the art world caught on to the scam, forcing the “artistes” to rebrand themselves as trailblazers in other bogus schools like “Post-painterly Abstraction”, “Color Field Painting”, “Lyrical Abstraction”, “Action Painting”, “Minimal Art”, “Post-minimalism”, & eventually some crap labeled "Neo-expressionism", a style so insignificant it barely escaped the late-70s. Given the paucity of talent in the artists who inspired them (e.g., Amedeo Modigliani, Max Jacob) it’s no wonder their works have the aesthetic appeal of a dog’s breakfast. Truth be told, most were frustrated poseurs who couldn't handle composition & perspective, & burned out on cocaine in the 70s to escape their anger at just missing the free-love movement of the 60s.
Chip: Hey, Dale. I didn’t know Hunter S. Thompson did Abstract Expressionism painting… hope you didn’t spend much on that piece of crap you hung in the foyer.
Dale: I’ll have you know that’s a Michael Petroni… one of Neo-expressionism’s finest artistes!
Chip: If that’s the good stuff, save me from the rest of it. And hang that monstrosity somewhere else, like the attic.
Dale: I’ll have you know that’s a Michael Petroni… one of Neo-expressionism’s finest artistes!
Chip: If that’s the good stuff, save me from the rest of it. And hang that monstrosity somewhere else, like the attic.
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger July 19, 2010
n., A Redondo Beach wanna be metal band, so unoriginal they show their maverickiness by running around in black t-shirts & jeans like all the other wanna bes. So untalented they took the name of a modestly successful East Coast band. Wanna be Multiverse talks big but doesn’t deliver as seen by their 2008 Facebook page bragging about their again soon-to-be-released album, Perceptive Complexity (“Prepare to be destroyed!” – uh, yeah.) Like so many metal bands they confuse skill for talent & whatever skill this band has is undone by its lack of talent.
While the lead guitar has more talent & ability than his kid brother drummer, that's not saying much. Like lots of drummers he bought a huge drum kit to makes up for his talent. One member is so talented, his only contribution is “Screams”, period. Wow. While they blame their failure to release an album on having an incomplete band, adding a bass player in 2009 didn’t seem to fix the problem.
Their only “accomplishment” so far is putting up lots of YouTube clips of them wasting time laying down tracks. In short, the band has all the earmarks of a twenty-something wannabe & his kid brother who continue to leaching off of mommy & daddy, living in mommy’s basement, driving her car, & claiming the reason they don’t have jobs, much less a contract, is that they’re undiscovered, super-awesome talented musicians who need just a little more time before they’ll get that that next, uhh… first big break.
While the lead guitar has more talent & ability than his kid brother drummer, that's not saying much. Like lots of drummers he bought a huge drum kit to makes up for his talent. One member is so talented, his only contribution is “Screams”, period. Wow. While they blame their failure to release an album on having an incomplete band, adding a bass player in 2009 didn’t seem to fix the problem.
Their only “accomplishment” so far is putting up lots of YouTube clips of them wasting time laying down tracks. In short, the band has all the earmarks of a twenty-something wannabe & his kid brother who continue to leaching off of mommy & daddy, living in mommy’s basement, driving her car, & claiming the reason they don’t have jobs, much less a contract, is that they’re undiscovered, super-awesome talented musicians who need just a little more time before they’ll get that that next, uhh… first big break.
Chip: God damn, Dale! What the hell you listening to?
Dale: Oh, sorry Chip… I was just listening to some of the soundtracks the Homeland Security goons use to torture their detainees… it’s a bunch of wanna bes called “Multiverse”…
Chip: Well, turn that crap off! You're scaring the dogs!
Dale: Oh, sorry Chip… I was just listening to some of the soundtracks the Homeland Security goons use to torture their detainees… it’s a bunch of wanna bes called “Multiverse”…
Chip: Well, turn that crap off! You're scaring the dogs!
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger June 9, 2010
(noun) - portmanteau of echo + universe
A hermetically sealed world the alt-right, MAGATs, ammosexuals, RWNJs, neo-Nazis, etc go to to safely share their bile and hatred without having to deal with reason and pesky facts that undercut their hatred and prejudices.
A hermetically sealed world the alt-right, MAGATs, ammosexuals, RWNJs, neo-Nazis, etc go to to safely share their bile and hatred without having to deal with reason and pesky facts that undercut their hatred and prejudices.
Man, I’m getting my ass handed to me in this chatroom… I’m going back to the Breitbart / InfoWars / _________ echoverse so people won’t bother me with all their fuckin’ facts and stuff
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger July 16, 2018
(kə-rekt’ - æn’sɜ:ʳ - æl’gə-rɪð’əm)
n.
A step-by-step problem-solving procedure, especially an established, computational procedure to transmogrify incorrect answers into answers found in the back of textbooks.
X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ
where
Fғ = Fudge Factor,
Xᴜ = the undesired answer,
Cғ = Finagle’s Constant
The Fudge Factor is simply the number, 0, and Finagle’s Constant is the answer in the back of the book (or any other answer that might be preferred instead of the current answer.)
n.
A step-by-step problem-solving procedure, especially an established, computational procedure to transmogrify incorrect answers into answers found in the back of textbooks.
X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ
where
Fғ = Fudge Factor,
Xᴜ = the undesired answer,
Cғ = Finagle’s Constant
The Fudge Factor is simply the number, 0, and Finagle’s Constant is the answer in the back of the book (or any other answer that might be preferred instead of the current answer.)
Let’s take this baby out for a spin & see how it works...
Suppose you’ve been asked to solve
eˣ ⁺ ³ = 5
which requires the use of a natural logarithm which you don’t know how to do because you spent your time in your high school math class doing EHAP homework & texting your friends who are now sitting in the same junior college remedial math class you are.
Since you have no chance of using the $200 TI-89 that mommy & daddy bought you to actually solve this equation, you instead use it like a $10 TI-15 & find a brute force, guess-and-check, decimal solution of x = -1.39 . Whew!
You look in the back of the book & see the answer is “-3 + ln 5”. Dang! You’re screwed because this teacher means business & only accepts answers showing all work & matching the answer in the back of the book.
Not so fast… now’s the time to pull out the *Correct Answer Algorithm*…
X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ
Fғ = Fudge Factor = 0
Xᴜ = the undesired answer = -1.39
Cғ = Finagle’s Constant = -3 + ln 5
X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ
= (0) ∙ (-1.39) + (-3 + ln 5)
= 0 + (-3 + ln 5)
= -3 + ln 5
Voilà! A "solution" showing "work" that produces the correct answer!
While this transmogrification works 100% of the time, you do run the risk of pushing your teacher to the point of mumbling stuff like "Well, even if you did show all your work, it isn't the 'Correct' work", "Only three years till retirement", or correctly identifying you as an incorrigible smart ass.
Suppose you’ve been asked to solve
eˣ ⁺ ³ = 5
which requires the use of a natural logarithm which you don’t know how to do because you spent your time in your high school math class doing EHAP homework & texting your friends who are now sitting in the same junior college remedial math class you are.
Since you have no chance of using the $200 TI-89 that mommy & daddy bought you to actually solve this equation, you instead use it like a $10 TI-15 & find a brute force, guess-and-check, decimal solution of x = -1.39 . Whew!
You look in the back of the book & see the answer is “-3 + ln 5”. Dang! You’re screwed because this teacher means business & only accepts answers showing all work & matching the answer in the back of the book.
Not so fast… now’s the time to pull out the *Correct Answer Algorithm*…
X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ
Fғ = Fudge Factor = 0
Xᴜ = the undesired answer = -1.39
Cғ = Finagle’s Constant = -3 + ln 5
X = Fғ ∙ Xᴜ + Cғ
= (0) ∙ (-1.39) + (-3 + ln 5)
= 0 + (-3 + ln 5)
= -3 + ln 5
Voilà! A "solution" showing "work" that produces the correct answer!
While this transmogrification works 100% of the time, you do run the risk of pushing your teacher to the point of mumbling stuff like "Well, even if you did show all your work, it isn't the 'Correct' work", "Only three years till retirement", or correctly identifying you as an incorrigible smart ass.
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger June 26, 2011
SNATU is an abbreviation for the phrase 'Systems Normal All Trumped Up' which supplanted SNAFU 'Systems Normal All Fucked Up' when SNAFU was found insufficient to cope with yuge-scale fuckery unleashed by Pres* Drumpf upon the US & the world.
With the electoral college selection & installation of 'Donny Tiny-hands', he showed it was possible to dick things up into a state even more screwed-up than being merely monumentally fucked-up. Thus, SNAFU proved insufficient to describe the situation where a narcissistic sociopath gathered racist nihilists, Russian agents & toadies as his closest advisors, unleashed rampant neopotism in the White House, installed incompetents like Betsy deVos, Dr Ben Carson & Gov Ricky Perry to head agencies they're intent on destroying & unleashed blatant self-dealers like Sec* Tom Price to gut the Dept of HHS & 'ObamaCare'.
Oxford English Dictionary lexicographers said Drumpf simply overwhelmed & broke the abbreviation SNAFU. "The magnitude of the unrelenting shitstorm generated by the Bull Shitter-in-Chief & abetted by his Cavalcade of Toadies created the need for an new abbreviation to capture a state that transcends SNAFU & thus SNATU spontaneously emerged into the lexicon."
Unlike with so many of the fake-facts that he & his minions have spewed upon the civic & political landscape, his supplanting SNAFU with SNATU represents a genuine accomplishment he can to point to as he closes his bigly sad initial 100 days as Preznit of the United States.
With the electoral college selection & installation of 'Donny Tiny-hands', he showed it was possible to dick things up into a state even more screwed-up than being merely monumentally fucked-up. Thus, SNAFU proved insufficient to describe the situation where a narcissistic sociopath gathered racist nihilists, Russian agents & toadies as his closest advisors, unleashed rampant neopotism in the White House, installed incompetents like Betsy deVos, Dr Ben Carson & Gov Ricky Perry to head agencies they're intent on destroying & unleashed blatant self-dealers like Sec* Tom Price to gut the Dept of HHS & 'ObamaCare'.
Oxford English Dictionary lexicographers said Drumpf simply overwhelmed & broke the abbreviation SNAFU. "The magnitude of the unrelenting shitstorm generated by the Bull Shitter-in-Chief & abetted by his Cavalcade of Toadies created the need for an new abbreviation to capture a state that transcends SNAFU & thus SNATU spontaneously emerged into the lexicon."
Unlike with so many of the fake-facts that he & his minions have spewed upon the civic & political landscape, his supplanting SNAFU with SNATU represents a genuine accomplishment he can to point to as he closes his bigly sad initial 100 days as Preznit of the United States.
Trumpp went SNATU when he super failed by being unable to deliver on yet an another campaign promise like making Mexico pay for his wall, passing ObamaCare repeal, passing his Muslim bans, etc... Sad, so bigly sad. Pathetic. #MAGA
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger April 26, 2017
(PERV – uh – tron), noun; portmanteau of pervert + electron
Ostensibly an airport security device that electromagnetically scans the entire body of the suspect, er traveler, and then delivers porn-grade, virtual images of said man, woman or child to underpaid TSA apparatchiks and the geeky technicians who maintain the device.
Ostensibly an airport security device that electromagnetically scans the entire body of the suspect, er traveler, and then delivers porn-grade, virtual images of said man, woman or child to underpaid TSA apparatchiks and the geeky technicians who maintain the device.
Sergio: Hey, Vito! Come feast yo' eyes on the piece of cheesecake that just walked into our new Pervetron-6900!
Vito: Man, those gotta be at least 36-Ds! Hey, Sergie! Zoom in there… is that a clit ring I see?
Sergio: Oh, yea! Cha-ching! We's got ourse'f a money shot!
Vito: Quick, Serge! Snap a picture with your iPhone for the collection!
Vito: Man, those gotta be at least 36-Ds! Hey, Sergie! Zoom in there… is that a clit ring I see?
Sergio: Oh, yea! Cha-ching! We's got ourse'f a money shot!
Vito: Quick, Serge! Snap a picture with your iPhone for the collection!
by Helmut Meinschaftgefülenberger August 4, 2010