Washington Times

A daily newspaper, founded in 1982, and funded by the Unification Church and Reverend Sun Myun Moon. Although begun as a conservative counterweight to Communism, the newspaper has gradually won respect for its journalism. Today, it is held in high esteem for its Metropolitan pages and its non-ideological foreign news pages, although the editorial coverage still retains a firmly conservative viewpoint.
Ever since HMB went to work at the Washington Times, his contributions at urbandictionary have tapered off into nothingness. One can only hope that his literary output is being put to equally creative uses.
by HMB March 06, 2004
mugGet the Washington Times mug.

blue ball

1. A ball that is blue.
2. A testicle or testicles that are blue.
3. A testicle or testicles that have not been used for a long time and therefore, in male mythological perception, are blue in color. This is merely metaphorical as the only way that testicles can turn blue are A) through the application of ink or paint, as in the scrotal tattooes of the old wrinkled retainers of the WangaWonkee tribes of the lower Balkans, or B) through constriction, as in preparation for castration (to prevent urination, which may infect the wound before it heals adequately).
My girlfriend wouldn:t screw me/do me/tattoo me so I went to bed with blue balls.
by HMB April 27, 2003
mugGet the blue ball mug.

prouds

In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".

It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):

HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*

Conversation 2 (ironic usage):

HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by HMB December 21, 2009
mugGet the prouds mug.

handpalm

A handpalm is a scenario where a normally-competitive situation has become so unbalanced that one side dominates all of the others and exercises an overwhelming degree of control. It metaphorically refers to the dominant player holding all the rest of the players "in the palm of the hand", meaning it can crush them and end the contest at any point. At this point, any actual competition purely symbolic - the contest continues solely at the desire of the dominant player.

A situation like this can arise in a simple game such as checkers or chess, or it can apply to more complex scenarios like economic competition, academic mastery of a given field, or military might.

Note that merely being the strongest player is not enough for a handpalm scenario. The scenario must become so lopsided that no action by any of the opposing elements can possibly break the victor's dominant position, short of intentional self-handicap or monumentally inept play.
Ex 1:

HMB: "I played chess against my girlfriend last night. It was brutal. She started with a handicap of one Bishop, one Knight, and one Rook and she STILL managed to corner me with two Queens and a Rook. She then spent ten moves of her stalemate count just taunting me with them to make her point."

HDT: "Wow. I've never seen a handpalm of that magnitude. Rusty?"

HMB: "You're telling me. I played a game of chess against myself the other day and somehow managed to lose."

Ex 2:

HMB: "My girlfriend inflicted the most intense handpalm last night. I'm still staggering from the blow."

DTM (who doesn't understand the term): "NIIICE! High five?"

HMB: "...no. No, I think not..."
by HMB February 06, 2010
mugGet the handpalm mug.

badasserarium

Any given place where more than one badass can reliably be found. In modern times, this may mean a certain night club, a certain seedy bar, or even any given trailer park - depending on the inhabitants.

Historically, this was named after the Badasserarium in Brundisium, a temple erected by Emperor Nero in the year 55. The original Badasserarium honored the final, most badass professional fighters left standing after the Great Gladiatorial Gangbang in July of that year. The survivors of a massive day-long free-for-all initiated with 900 heavily armed and alcoholically lubricated gladiators, these handful were granted the honorific Badassissimus, indicating status of an ass far worse than any other precursors in the field of badassery. Enshrined during their lifetimes as living saints of the Badasserarium, such was their fame that even respectable matrons and virgin girls of Brundisium would pay good money to spend fifteen seconds with any one of them, who would bestow his virility and virtue upon them with a Falcon Punch to the abdomen, leaving them unable to walk - sometimes permanently.

Upon being asked by Nero whether this was absolutely necessary, the Badassissimus responded by roaring incoherently and kicking a watermelon hard enough to orbit the known world twice and decapitate a nearby catamite the following Thursday. Suetonius translates this to mean: "Yes, I am afraid it is."
"This San Francisco restaurant once served lunch to Bruce Lee, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Chuck Norris at the same sitting. For the brief duration of that lunch, decades ago, this restaurant was a badasserarium."

"The Badassissimus of the Badasserarium was a badass well known for his consummate badassery."
by HMB May 02, 2010
mugGet the badasserarium mug.

SMVC

Shoulder Mounted Video Camera: (noun) The weapon of choice for today's journalist in use in self defence, when they find themselves embedded with American soldiers abroad in some festering petrochemical shithole of a desert nation fighting a war that they don't want and can't win, wearing a distinctinve "Shoot me please!" Army uniform.
Soldier: Dude, you are so dead when we move out to Ramallah. I hear them Eye-rackies out there got RPGs up the wazoo.

NBC reporter: Aha! Well that's where you're wrong my friend. I have an SMVC! FEAR MY VIDEO CAMERA.

Soldier: Christ.
by HMB November 18, 2003
mugGet the SMVC mug.

hideity

1. The act, state, or condition of being hideous.
2. A word you say when you have died and gone to heaven or hell and, upon being faced with a nonplussed deity, with which you greet them.
1. "Jane Austen's latest undiscovered offering, 'Pointlessness and Pretentiosity', reveals a new female protagonist, whose tenacity is matched only by her hideity and the length of her pubic mustache."

2. GOD: HMB, you stand accused of a lifetime granted by My grace, wasted in pursuit of atheism, masturbation, and belief in Darwinian evolutionary theory. What have you to say for yourself?

HMB: Hideity.
by HMB March 27, 2003
mugGet the hideity mug.