HMB 's definitions
1. The act, state, or condition of being hideous.
2. A word you say when you have died and gone to heaven or hell and, upon being faced with a nonplussed deity, with which you greet them.
2. A word you say when you have died and gone to heaven or hell and, upon being faced with a nonplussed deity, with which you greet them.
1. "Jane Austen's latest undiscovered offering, 'Pointlessness and Pretentiosity', reveals a new female protagonist, whose tenacity is matched only by her hideity and the length of her pubic mustache."
2. GOD: HMB, you stand accused of a lifetime granted by My grace, wasted in pursuit of atheism, masturbation, and belief in Darwinian evolutionary theory. What have you to say for yourself?
HMB: Hideity.
2. GOD: HMB, you stand accused of a lifetime granted by My grace, wasted in pursuit of atheism, masturbation, and belief in Darwinian evolutionary theory. What have you to say for yourself?
HMB: Hideity.
by HMB March 27, 2003

A German word meaning "both yes and no". Derives from the German "ja" for yes, and "nein" for no. Rhymes with "shine". This usually is said in response to a question that appears to be a yes/no question but on later consideration is actually more complicated than that.
HMB: I hear in Germany they sell alcoholic beverages by the liter instead of by the pint. I'll bet that's a much better way to enjoy yourself.
Dagmar (perplexed and pondering): Jein. Actually it is not being that simple, for the price of a glass of beer is higher than elsewhere, also it is harder to pace yourself... but I understand that time is rare so I must shrug it off.
HMB: LOL and ROLFMAO at your awesome German transliterations! "Time is rare"! You German girls are so cool! (Nuffles Dagmar.)
Dagmar (bewildered): ...does not compute...
Dagmar (perplexed and pondering): Jein. Actually it is not being that simple, for the price of a glass of beer is higher than elsewhere, also it is harder to pace yourself... but I understand that time is rare so I must shrug it off.
HMB: LOL and ROLFMAO at your awesome German transliterations! "Time is rare"! You German girls are so cool! (Nuffles Dagmar.)
Dagmar (bewildered): ...does not compute...
by HMB November 25, 2006

1. A biological process by which information is passively absorbed, in a matter similar to osmosis, from episodes on TV or radio. Usually happens when you are focussing on doing something else while somebody in the same room is viewing or listening to the media. This can lead to false associations.
2. A sociological process whereby knowledge or behavior is transferred through occurrences that are regular and can be tracked over time. This can include: routine noisy arguments from the family living across the street, shouted tactical instructions from the beergut living next door each time there's an American football game on TV, and finding out that the various counts of first-degree homicide and cannibalism that your janitor stands accused of in routine police raids on his utility room.
2. A sociological process whereby knowledge or behavior is transferred through occurrences that are regular and can be tracked over time. This can include: routine noisy arguments from the family living across the street, shouted tactical instructions from the beergut living next door each time there's an American football game on TV, and finding out that the various counts of first-degree homicide and cannibalism that your janitor stands accused of in routine police raids on his utility room.
1.
Fnor: Do you watch Scrubs, HMB?
HMB: Not really. I've followed some of the plot through epismosis, but usually while downloading Sylvia Saint multimedia. Wasn't there one time that Zach Braff rides the Sybian?
Fnor: No.
2. Hague inspector: We deduce the victim to have expired after involuntary respiratory constriction at about 4 a.m. last night. We suspect epismosis of the General Secretary's late-night physical trysts with his administrative assistant in a nearby office may have caused a displacement of the victim's sexual energy as he slept, resulting in a lung erection that would prove fatal. However, investigators have not ruled out the possibility of poisoning. (Lead Inspector Franconi's confidential report following the death of former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevich.)
Fnor: Do you watch Scrubs, HMB?
HMB: Not really. I've followed some of the plot through epismosis, but usually while downloading Sylvia Saint multimedia. Wasn't there one time that Zach Braff rides the Sybian?
Fnor: No.
2. Hague inspector: We deduce the victim to have expired after involuntary respiratory constriction at about 4 a.m. last night. We suspect epismosis of the General Secretary's late-night physical trysts with his administrative assistant in a nearby office may have caused a displacement of the victim's sexual energy as he slept, resulting in a lung erection that would prove fatal. However, investigators have not ruled out the possibility of poisoning. (Lead Inspector Franconi's confidential report following the death of former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevich.)
by HMB May 18, 2006

1. National Missile Defence. A controversial plan to set up a series of interceptor systems to destroy incoming nuclear warheads and render an entire nation safe from missile attack.
2. A virulent curse in Mandarin Chinese, as coined by late Qing Dynasty and early Republic of China writer Lü Xun, who defined the "national curseword" of the Chinese people as "ni ma de", or literally "your mother's ...". Lü Xun never specified what possession or part of the mother is meant, but one can presume it is obscene.
Compare this with TMD and WMD.
2. A virulent curse in Mandarin Chinese, as coined by late Qing Dynasty and early Republic of China writer Lü Xun, who defined the "national curseword" of the Chinese people as "ni ma de", or literally "your mother's ...". Lü Xun never specified what possession or part of the mother is meant, but one can presume it is obscene.
Compare this with TMD and WMD.
1. President Bush: "We intend to ignore Chinese governmental protests, and to go ahead with plans to install a working NMD."
2. President Jiang Zemin: "Well, in that case all I have to say is 'NMD'. And now I'm going to play the piano."
2. President Jiang Zemin: "Well, in that case all I have to say is 'NMD'. And now I'm going to play the piano."
by HMB March 12, 2004

(Noun) The state or condition of being awesome. Defined in a bogus mathematical theorem as:
Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity
Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
Quality + Perception
-------------------- = Osimosity
Vulgar popularity
Not to be confused with animosity, or pretentiosity.
1. Lord Ossum of the Ossumites was an Ozymandian well known for his osimosity.
2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
2.
Freddie:
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...
Chorus:
HE'S-JUST-A-POOR-BOY/
NAMED-FREDDIE-MERCURY/
BOW-GASP-AND-QUAIL/
AT-HIS-OSIMOSITY!
by HMB August 2, 2004

In text-only conversations, such as email, IM, or status updates, this word means "looks proud" or "looks smug".
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
It can often be intended ironically, especially when somebody has done something dubious or unhygienic but still feels the need to tell others about it.
Conversation 1 (straight usage):
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
HMB: Hey, I got sworn in at the high court this week as a lawyer! Woo hoo!
DTM: Oh wow! Respect! I'd imagine you're over the moon about this!
HMB: Yes. Yes, I am. *prouds*
Conversation 2 (ironic usage):
HMB: I breathed on a kitten once, and it got real sick. *prouds*
DTM: Dude, WTF.
by HMB December 21, 2009

Similar to satiscraptory, this term denotes anything of below average quality for masturbation, put to use because there's nothing better around.
1. I was searching for some pictures the other day in order to host a wrestling match between the Pink Darth Vader and Hand Solo. I coulnd't find any Carrie Fisher pictures, only Jamie Lee Curtis. But I photochopped them into a white dress and headphone hair, and it was satisfaptory.
by HMB August 13, 2004
