Definitions by Fearman
Quare on the Square
Dublin rhyming slang ("Quare" from the originally derogatory "queer" for gay, homosexual) for the reclining statue of Oscar Wilde, carved in County Cork from rocks of various colours. The statue is mounted on a boulder at one corner of Archbishop Ryan Park, Merrion Square, Dublin, opposite two metal columns inscribed with quotes from Wilde.
Quare on the Square by Fearman February 10, 2008
like a crystal cow in knackerland
Used of something or someone unsuited to a given environment, placed there hopefully for well-intended reasons but left defenceless. From a decision by the relevant authorities in Dublin, Ireland in recent years to mount life-size statues of cows in various media and colours in outdoor locations throughout the centre of the city. The cows were soon vandalised, including one dainty little critter with an elaborate design of cut glass that was left, as you do, in one of the less salubrious areas of the city centre and promptly smashed.
She left little Johnny off at school to face the roughest class in the place, like a crystal cow in knackerland.
like a crystal cow in knackerland by Fearman February 10, 2008
partial abortion
Someone who is almost idiotic enough to join the "pro-life" (anti-abortion fanatic) movement, but whose brain rescues them in the nick of time.
partial abortion by Fearman February 7, 2008
quoking
Vaginal smoking, as demonstrated on at least one Internet video sequence with that gorgeous woman who says "and you don't cough, and it doesn't get your teeth yellow!" If you possess a vagina you stick the cool end of the lit cigar or cigarette in and use rhythmic contractions of the vaginal or perineal muscles to suck in and expel air. Try not to burn your pubes. To anyone halfway intelligent, whatever sex appeal there may be in the practice is entirely a matter of the organ used. Not recommended if you have a non-smoking partner who fancies going down on you. Probably not much healthier than the more familiar method. A contraction of "quim" and "smoking". Verb, to quoke.
Oxfam shyster
An Oxfam shyster is someone who tries to get a further discount in a charity shop (which may or may not be a branch of Oxfam) or who attempts to use the shop as a rubbish bin. Typical tactics include yelling, "I want to donate these, thank you!", leaving a large bag of (say) books at the counter and scooting out the door. Closer examination reveals a single layer of halfway good books (or just covers) overlying a mass of unsaleable and often physically unreadable mulch. The shop is left to discard the mulch because the Oxfam shyster couldn't bother their pretty little fat white arse to take the stuff to the dump themselves. Unlike the private citizen, the shop, being a charity, is (at least under Irish/EU law, dunno about America) obliged to pay a heavy charge on recycling, but who cares? As long as the Oxfam shyster gets their narcissistic business over and done with, that's fine with them, they're all right, Jack, and that's all that matters.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
Another tactic is demanding a further discount off already rock-bottom prices because they need the money for something else. Food for the kids, petrol to get home, tins of dog or cat food, you name it. This is typically preceded by a pretense that they can't read price tags, and accompanied by an attempt to make it look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths by saying they don't want the goods for themselves, but for a kid/relative/whatever who might need the info at a difficult time. Listen, love, if you need more money for petrol but can't afford the extra price of a cheeseburger, have you considered cycling?
Oxfam shysters can be of any age or either gender, but they tend to be elderly women more often than not, probably because this is the slice of the demographic best able to pull off the loveably-gaga routine, while at the same time being least likely to get a richly deserved kick in the toothless jawbone from the sort of well-meaning sucker who is likely to be running the shop. Beware the Oxfam shyster.
Oxfam shyster by Fearman February 1, 2008