1) Sometimes classified as a Hair Metal group they were really just an overrated pop rock band. They rose to success in the 1980s by taking the sound of already successful, more talented acts such as Def Leppard, Motley Crue and Van Halen and pussifying it into the bland, repetitive, pop music they are known for. Were popular with young women mostly because they all just wanted to bang Jon Bon Jovi, the lead singer. Their popularity has dwindled in recent years due to the fact that their fan base is now in their 40s and no longer part of the most import demographic in terms of record sales, teenage girls. For similar bands, see Poison.
2) A bloody stool
2) A bloody stool
1) Guy 1: What's the difference between Bon Jovi and the Jonas Brothers?
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: About 20 years
2) Oh man I just came back from the doctor. He gave me some pills that should prevent me from having so many Bon Jovis.
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: About 20 years
2) Oh man I just came back from the doctor. He gave me some pills that should prevent me from having so many Bon Jovis.
by FannyFondler July 19, 2010
Bob: Dude, my nads itch so bad right now.
Johnny: That's what happens when you go to a Spanken Haus and get 20 Cleveland Steamers.
Bob: I guess it could be worse. I could have sucked my own dick on a bus full of people.
Johnny: That's what happens when you go to a Spanken Haus and get 20 Cleveland Steamers.
Bob: I guess it could be worse. I could have sucked my own dick on a bus full of people.
by FannyFondler December 09, 2008
A Persian Emo. Pemos are easily distinguished from normal persians because they wear thier turbans way tighter than normal. They are also often seen wearing women's robes, which are much tighter than men's robes. Unlike traditional emos who listen to music about cutting themselves, pemos listen to music about blowing themselves up in a mall.
Bob: What's that persian guy doing over there?
Jim: He looks like a pemo. I hope he doesn't blow us up.
Pemo: Aiyiiiyayayaiiiii!!!!
Bob: Shit he's got a bomb under his abnormally tight robes!
BOOM!
Jim: He looks like a pemo. I hope he doesn't blow us up.
Pemo: Aiyiiiyayayaiiiii!!!!
Bob: Shit he's got a bomb under his abnormally tight robes!
BOOM!
by FannyFondler December 26, 2008
Thief: Gimmee your money foo', I got a knife!
Pedestrian: That's not a knife ( pulls out a bigger knife). THIS is a knife!
Thief: And this is a Creamy Caesar! (Stabs pedestrian with spooge covered knife).
Pedestrian: That's not a knife ( pulls out a bigger knife). THIS is a knife!
Thief: And this is a Creamy Caesar! (Stabs pedestrian with spooge covered knife).
by FannyFondler December 14, 2008
The greatest Metal vocalists/lyricist of all time. Born July 10, 1942 and originally named Ronald James Padavona, he released his first single with the band Ronnie and the Red Caps in 1958. He continued to grace the world with his amazing voice for the next 52 years as the lead singer of several legendary bands such as Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Dio, and Heaven and Hell. Also very famous for his invention of the devil horns hand gesture, a fact that comes as a shock to most people considering Dio is widely believed to be the second coming of Jesus. He passed away May 16, 2010, the same day all the happiness in the world vanished.
by FannyFondler July 19, 2010
Shia LaBeouf, known best for his roles in the Disney Channel show Even Stevens and in the motion picture Transformers, is a shapeshifting demi-god who is currently the greatest actor on the face of the earth. He was not born, but created in a rousing session of butt-sex involving Chuck Norris and Zeus, the god of thunder. In Greek his names means "The One Who Fucks Grizzly Bears", while in Latin it simply translates to " Big Dicked Moistener of Vaginas."
The first known historical evidence of Shia LaBeouf dates back to ancient Egypt. It is said that when Shia arrived in the country he immediately fucked all the hot Egyptian pussy. In fact, he fucked them so hard that they all died from internal bleeding. Furious, Shia created 10 plauges to spread across the country. He also freed the Jewish slaves and let them cross the red sea on his gigantic dick. Afterward he left the country and swore that from then on he would only pound chicks hard enough to make their vaginas bleed a little bit. This is the reason women now menstrate.
In the past he has taken on many names and identities. Some of these include Hercules, King Arthur, William Shakespeare, General William Tecumseh Sherman, Walter Cronkite, Smokey the Bear, James Earl Jones, Ted Nugent and Samuel L. Jackson. This does not include the people that Shia himself created. Some examples would be Ron Jeremy, who was forged from a wart on Shia's dick and Michael Moore, who was spawned from a giant shit Shia once took.
Shia's best scientific achievement is easily curing polio. He did this by putting his jizz in a syringe and injecting it into an infected woman. He didn't know she had polio, he just wanted to inject his seamen into her. He is also credited with punching a hole through the ozone layer with his left testicle. His right testicle is responsible for creating the Grand Canyon.
Shia first appeared in his current form in 2000 as Louis Stevens on Even Stevens. Since then he has starred in several amazing films such as Transformers, Disturbia, Eagle Eye, and Holes (which ironically enough was the name of a porn he did under another one of his pseudonyms, Peter North).
Today Shia still roams the earth pounding hot chicks and eating live hand grenades. In fact, I believe that he is currently banging you mom/sister/wife/girlfriend.
The first known historical evidence of Shia LaBeouf dates back to ancient Egypt. It is said that when Shia arrived in the country he immediately fucked all the hot Egyptian pussy. In fact, he fucked them so hard that they all died from internal bleeding. Furious, Shia created 10 plauges to spread across the country. He also freed the Jewish slaves and let them cross the red sea on his gigantic dick. Afterward he left the country and swore that from then on he would only pound chicks hard enough to make their vaginas bleed a little bit. This is the reason women now menstrate.
In the past he has taken on many names and identities. Some of these include Hercules, King Arthur, William Shakespeare, General William Tecumseh Sherman, Walter Cronkite, Smokey the Bear, James Earl Jones, Ted Nugent and Samuel L. Jackson. This does not include the people that Shia himself created. Some examples would be Ron Jeremy, who was forged from a wart on Shia's dick and Michael Moore, who was spawned from a giant shit Shia once took.
Shia's best scientific achievement is easily curing polio. He did this by putting his jizz in a syringe and injecting it into an infected woman. He didn't know she had polio, he just wanted to inject his seamen into her. He is also credited with punching a hole through the ozone layer with his left testicle. His right testicle is responsible for creating the Grand Canyon.
Shia first appeared in his current form in 2000 as Louis Stevens on Even Stevens. Since then he has starred in several amazing films such as Transformers, Disturbia, Eagle Eye, and Holes (which ironically enough was the name of a porn he did under another one of his pseudonyms, Peter North).
Today Shia still roams the earth pounding hot chicks and eating live hand grenades. In fact, I believe that he is currently banging you mom/sister/wife/girlfriend.
by FannyFondler December 30, 2008
Tranny Madonna wannabe with a penis. She is not original, she is not creative, and she has about as much musical talent as your average high school band student.
by FannyFondler October 10, 2010