Definitions by Eaton Holgoode
Warm Baker's Mitt
A nice, snug rectum, male or female, that has been primed and warmed up for penetration with ky warming.
Warm Baker's Mitt by Eaton Holgoode February 27, 2014
Bone In Filet
A nice, tight little ass on a male or female (depending upon your preference) that is primed and aching for attention, arched up in the air and ready for exploriation and penetration. Alternatively, for non-beef fans, Bone In Ham is a Slang Substitute
Roger: How as your day yesterday?
Carl: Long day at the office but a sweet surprise when I got home.
Roger: How so?
Carl: Walked in the door and Tonya was in the middle of the room sporting a Bone In Filet.
Roger: And?
Carl: I split dat ass! She thought I was Torting her. But as always, I gave her a Butler's Wipe.
Carl: Long day at the office but a sweet surprise when I got home.
Roger: How so?
Carl: Walked in the door and Tonya was in the middle of the room sporting a Bone In Filet.
Roger: And?
Carl: I split dat ass! She thought I was Torting her. But as always, I gave her a Butler's Wipe.
Bone In Filet by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014
Slang Substitute
A slang substitute is a word, words or phrase that may be used interchangeably with a definition already defined on Urban Dictionary. However, the Slang Substitute may not yet be defined. Slang Substitutes must be clearly noted within the definition of an existing slang term for it be a valid substitute. The beauty of a Slang Substitute is that even if the term is later defined, it still remains a valid Slang Substitute for the term in which it was noted to mean the same thing. Adding Slang Substitutes within definitions saves time and allows more creative slang terminology.
The term Bone In Filet means a tight ass ready for anal play. The term Bone In Ham, while not defined as such, may be used interchangeably to mean the same as Bone In Filet because its noted as a Slang Substitute withing the definition of Bone In Filet.
Slang Substitute by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014
The Toledo Tablecloth
The Toledo Tablecloth is primarily used to score revenge or payback and is similar to a Texas Doily. The Toledo Tablecloth is best deployed over an end table or other small decorative table. Once deployed, a rapid exit from the location where it has been laid should be made so as to leave the tablecloth behind for furture discovery.
To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.
To create The Toledo Tablecloth, an individual must shit their grunders, aka underware intentionally, or use grunders that have significant skid marks, mud tracks or shit stains. To create the "tablecloth", take the underware off and turn them inside out making it a point to retain as much fecal matter as possible. Next, stretch the waistband opening around the edges of an end table or other small decorative table and pulling the band down the sides. Fold the legs of the underware over to the side so as to cover any exposed top of the table. Be sure to leave the shart stain as close to the middle of the table top as possible. Center as best as possible. Leave quickly for discovery by others.
Unfortunately, Roger got off from work early and decided to drop by his girlfriend Mary Ann's house and surprise her. To Roger's dismay, he crept in only to find Mary Ann having sex with her neighbor Carl. Roger walked in just as Carl was diggning in the garden. Rather than becoming enraged, Roger did not disrupt their doggie style play and left the room. He copped a squat in the living room and laid a fresh, wet shart in his grunders. He then created The Toledo Tablecloth on Mary Ann's brand new Rooms To Go end table. He quickly left the house so he could clean up his sticky crack corn at a nearby 7-11.
The Toledo Tablecloth by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014
Moochmate
A Moochmate is an individual, male or female, that is welcomed into a group living situation with others, but is unable to pay rent or contribute to the group’s general living expenses. The Moochmate attempts to offset their inability to pay for rent and other expenses by providing services which can include, but not be limited to cleaning, laundry, dishes, dog watching, fruit picking and occasionally, assisting others with bathing, showering and washing their hair. However, the Moochmate is eventually asked to leave because of their drain on the wallets of the others. Moochmates typically will find another rooming situation where they can continue to mooch. But in some instances, the Moochmate must return home to a parental dwelling. In those instances, the Moochmate is often required by the parent to repay the most recent roommates of the Moochmate with cash after being required to get a job.
Leslie and Tanna welcomed Donna into their apartment as a new roommate. However, after about 3 months, they realized that Donna was not a roommate, but rather a Moochmate and they asked her to leave.
Moochmate by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014
Butler's Wipe
A Butler's Wipe references clean up services provided by a male after wet, jizz filled sex sessions. The Butler's Wipe is performed when sex juices are wiped and cleaned from the body and orifices of the other sexual partner or partners. Cleaning is performed using a traditional gak towel or doddle rag. While the Butler's Wipe is most often performed by the male partner in one on one sexual activity, Butler Wipes can be provided to multiple partners. In sex group settings and orgies, sex party participants often designate one male individual specifically to provide Butler Wipes throughout the party serving clean up for all orgy participants.
Reed banged his girlfriend Leslie for hours until they both exploded their love loads. Leslie was covered from stem to stern with Reed's man gravy. Because Reed is a gracious, serving lover, he pulled out the doddle rag from under the bed and gave Leslie a Butler's Wipe.
Butler's Wipe by Eaton Holgoode February 22, 2014
Side Decoration
The act of posing for selfies or posed photographs whereby a male, who is otherwise nothing more than an unpopular douche is able to convince two at least one, but ideally two or more, attractive, female hotties to pose with him in said photos. These females, as Side Decoration, give the appearance that the douchebag is otherwise extremely popular, well hung, desired by women and commands female attention. Without Side Decoration, his life is nothing more than a pathetic, day to day existance and females generally cannot stand someone that requires Side Decoration.
Brandon constantly posts selfies and other posed pictures of himself along with Side Decoration. His Facebook and Twitter appear to show the life of a high rolling, ladies man where women are craving the D. However, those that know him know he is just a douche and if it not for his use of Side Decoration, no one would care.
Side Decoration by Eaton Holgoode February 20, 2014