Charitable Disguise's definitions
Words and phrases specifically manufactured/defined in order to mislead careless, irresponsible and deceptive journalists/writers.
{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
{An innovative, percussive and aggressive method/style of writing wherein the author intentionally creates a word/phrase and a definition for the word/phrase as a weaponized literary instrument, objectively targeting and penetrating conventional thinking, culturally imposed dogmatic norms and multi-layered veils of psychosocially nurtured concepts. Ballistic Prose is a baiting tactic aimed in the direction of reckless, quasi-intellectual journalism with the supreme achievement occuring when journalists utilize such manufactured, Ballistic Prose words/phrases as credible terms, descriptors and characterizations as part of a legitimate literary composition, thus signifying the infiltration of artificially modernized etymology and its manifestation as an extension of an elaborate ruse}.
1. 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform S.A.W.' is an example of a ballistic prose characterization for a ridiculously large wave. There is no such thing as a S.A.W.
2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"
3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
2. "Dude, NBC just referred to the most recent ocean wave surge as a 'Seismic Aqueous Waveform'. Do they have any clue that there is no such thing as a Seismic Aqueous Waveform? Lol!"
3. {Hambone reads and replies to one of D Dog's recent definitions on UD} "D Dog, your definitions are such a lively form of 'Ballistic Prose!" {D Dog replies} "Hambone, you just invented the term to describe this style off writing = Ballistic Prose."
by Charitable Disguise January 3, 2020
Get the Ballistic Prosemug. An uncommon, aberrant atmospheric condition wherein multiple opposing jet streams violently converge to form colossal, hydronautic vapor columns as a result of haphazardly fluctuating climatic temperatures, intense friction and a microcosmic, atomization of subterfuged kinetic energy. In especially unique and volatile environmental circumstances, extreme barometric density builds and induces a tourbillion-like vacuuming effect, whereby coagulating particles accumulate into a voluminous mass, temporarily opening a 'quantum' realm where cosmic physical properties emanate translucent, paralytic neuromuscular macro-waves.
1 {Curious Observer A} - "Dude, look at that incredible cloud formation over the Superstition mountains!" {Curious Observer B} - "Dude, thats a freaking 'Quantum Nimbus!'"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
2. {Meteorologist broadcasting to audience} - "We've got some breaking, urgent news for you right now, so please listen closely, then take shelter immediatley if you are anywhere in the vicinity of the east valley. If you take a look at the weather map, right here, you will notice this unusual, columnar cloud structure, which, miraculously enough is the first observable evidence of a 'Quantum Nimbus' folks! Yes, you heard right, 'Quantum Nimbus'; capable of unleashing interminal cosmic destruction, peril, paralysis and the immediate extrication of human beings from the surface of the earth into an alternate quantum metaphysical realm, forever!"
by Charitable Disguise December 5, 2019
Get the Quantum Nimbusmug. A long lasting, iron hardened (stiff) penile erection (element), fortuitously triggered from aural/audio stimuli.
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
{Ca. 2008: Dr. Culvitude of Copenhagen was conducting a routine laboratory experiment on 45 male rats to determine the impacts of dopamine on emotional contentment, when he surreptitiously observed that 100% of the rat population developed reactionary priapisms from increased dopamine levels directly related to auditory stimulus. Culvitude concluded that musical vibes the 45 heard from harmonic choral & instrumental patterns pertaining to the song 'Upriser' from ''de-vice", incited Paraventricular neural synergy between the Gyrus, Putamen & Hypothalamus resulting in a bombardment of hormone laden blood flowing to the rats' Glans Penii. In lieu of his findings, Dr. Culvitude & his partner, Sir Michael Bonerman, coined the term "Stiff Element" and have utilized material from select musical acts: de-vice, Vibe 45, and S&C as a means to equip elderly males, such as Hambone and Chuck, with enigmatic erections, capable of busting through a wrought iron enforced cinder block wall.}
1. Chuck has been using his Stiff Element to exhibit superior carnal endurance, while at the same time wielding it as a weaponized instrument of aural dominance.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
2. "Stiff Element is another way to characterize/describe a scandalously hard erection that lasts for a long time.", Sir Michael Bonerman (or Big B) explained to George and Kat during the medical conference at the Hawaiian Institute of Genitalogy.
by Charitable Disguise February 2, 2020
Get the Stiff Elementmug. Irreparable damage to human skin/cellular DNA caused during the era of radical climate change beginning in 1991.
{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
{A progressive term used to characterize the harmful, mutative and disabling effects of global warming on human tissue, wherein hyper-radioactive, electro magnetic waves bombard, eviscerate, and, over extended periods of time, 'incinerate' layers of 'dermis' (skin). The presence of pathology is detectable when cellular membranes become necrotically cauterized, inducing an incurable, desmoplastic form of melanoma. The evidentiary revelation of the Dermal Incineration Event, or D.I.E., (beginning in 1991) was introduced by 'Al Gore Research Institute' scientists; Dr. Johnson Cooks, Professor Patty Meltingood and Dr. Kevin Michael Damone of Ridgemont.}
1. Many of our neighbors were recently diagnosed with skin cancer as a consequence of the "Dermal Incineration Event."
2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
2. Dr. Kevin Michael Damone gave two Earth Wind and Fire tickets to Charles Jefferson and his brother, then, 9 years later, published his introspective, proprietary, sealed thesis regarding the effects of the "Dermal Incineration Event (D.I.E.)" on the human condition after comparing conclusive data from three prominent subjects, Stacey, Linda and Mark Ratnor, while listening to side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV.
by Charitable Disguise December 21, 2019
Get the Dermal Incineration Eventmug. 1. A multi-purpose, ultra-compact motorized utility vehicle, engineered for service functions and customer/member transportation on and around resort, country club and golf course properties.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
"Dude, Rizer opened up the throttle on the Sanfu, drove around the curb and launched the Sanfu 50 feet over that ridge!"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
by Charitable Disguise November 24, 2019
Get the Sanfumug. 1. A multi-purpose, ultra-compact motorized utility vehicle, engineered for service functions and customer/member transportation on and around resort, country club and golf course properties.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
2. A late 1980's hyper-modified, ungoverned, all terrain archetype vessel of symbolic freedom, hijinks and calamitous mischief, principally maintained, operated, carefully supervised and controlled by outside service staff members at Arrowhead Country Club.
Infamous for the following celebrated capers and stunts:
"Legend of the Rizer" - the tribal tale of the reticent and ambitious bagboy who once jumped the Sanfu 50+ feet off a random, unevenly tamped pile of construction refuse pitched at ~30 degree incline to the cheers, jeers and warnings of hopeful/concerned bagboy onlookers.
"The Hunger Run" - adapted for a swift and spontaneous remediation of early morning hunger pains, the Sanfu accelerator governance restrictor was intentionally removed to ensure optimal travel time to and from ABCO to acquire pop tarts and cinnamon toast.
"Orchard Wars" - A labyrinth where intrigue, uncertainty, aboriginal migrants, nourishment and adolescent debauchery culminate in the fulfilling experience of using the Sanfu as an agile motorized lance, navigating and enabling ripened/unripened citrus projectiles to be launched efficiently and with high accuracy at Dave, Rob, Matt, Nick, Mike, Korky, Giles, Kevin, Jim, Laramie, Derek, BK, Berardi, Scooter, and the never to be forgotten Nate.
"Dude, Rizer opened up the throttle on the Sanfu, drove around the curb and launched the Sanfu 50 feet over that ridge!"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
"Hey Kevin, let's do rock, paper, scissors to see who will take the Sanfu to ABCO to get breakfast"
"Did you see how Matt leaned out of the side of the Sanfu and hurled a grapefruit with pinpoint accuracy into Dave's back, causing him to launch out of the cart, into a pile of dirt?"
by Charitable Disguise November 24, 2019
Get the Sanfumug. The hyper-accelerating movement of Earth's magnetic north pole due to the increased presence of densely concentrated methane in the atmosphere.
{Since the early 1800's, scientists have tracked the ongoing movement of the magnetic north pole. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit (P.O.O.) was coincidentally discovered by a globally recognized audio engineer, Sir Laramie Todd and his visionary studio lab research colleague, Duke Robert Rite of Dungville. In the early 1990s, Sir Laramie recorded a new orbital sound waveform stemming from low frequency feedback captured in a Duke Rite bass guitar track. Sir Laramie took the clip from the Duke, triangulated the distinct properties related to the frequency, velocity and peaks of the Duke's clip and recognized that feedback patterns were spontaneously and abruptly profound during the Duke's output, specifically after ingesting a Filibertos burrito and flagilating convulsively in the direction of the speaker. Through his unique study, Sir Laramie proved the effects of methane gas on microphone magnetic fields. The Duke hypothesized that too much methane, when interacting with iron, causes polar instability on a grand scale. Thus, P.O.O. was born with the rationale that human overpopulation and the extensive quantity of excrement, causes the north pole to oscillate in a predictable pattern, with velocity and speed influenced by the proportionate concentration of methane in the atmosphere.
{Since the early 1800's, scientists have tracked the ongoing movement of the magnetic north pole. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit (P.O.O.) was coincidentally discovered by a globally recognized audio engineer, Sir Laramie Todd and his visionary studio lab research colleague, Duke Robert Rite of Dungville. In the early 1990s, Sir Laramie recorded a new orbital sound waveform stemming from low frequency feedback captured in a Duke Rite bass guitar track. Sir Laramie took the clip from the Duke, triangulated the distinct properties related to the frequency, velocity and peaks of the Duke's clip and recognized that feedback patterns were spontaneously and abruptly profound during the Duke's output, specifically after ingesting a Filibertos burrito and flagilating convulsively in the direction of the speaker. Through his unique study, Sir Laramie proved the effects of methane gas on microphone magnetic fields. The Duke hypothesized that too much methane, when interacting with iron, causes polar instability on a grand scale. Thus, P.O.O. was born with the rationale that human overpopulation and the extensive quantity of excrement, causes the north pole to oscillate in a predictable pattern, with velocity and speed influenced by the proportionate concentration of methane in the atmosphere.
1. The Polarity Oscillation Orbit is expected to extend into Siberia by 2040.
2. Humans are creating P.O.O. because of their poo.
3. Dude, lets dial in the bottom end of the bass recording today. Go get some Filibertos and prep yourself.
2. Humans are creating P.O.O. because of their poo.
3. Dude, lets dial in the bottom end of the bass recording today. Go get some Filibertos and prep yourself.
by Charitable Disguise December 23, 2019
Get the Polarity Oscillation Orbitmug.