diablo 2

Life draining computer game, players who play it often found themselves devoid of a life, girlfriend, or any other monument of their terrible social abilities.

Gamers ditches school just to spend hours searching of the Ultra Nuklear Oculous of Unanimous Kickass (+2 Skills +3x Immunity to Cold +2000 Magic Damage +Guaranteed Drop of Uniques), rumored to be hidden in a dung sample dropped from Baal's swollen sphinchter.
Diablo 2 Gamer: "OMGz! I just found myself a bitchin' 75x FCR Sorc Ring with 800% Magic Find! God I'm so fucking tired...."

Straight-Thinking Kid: "Neat, I got laid twelve times today. Cool huh? My schlong hurts bad though"

Diablo 2 Gamer: "Haha! You faggot, you got a small dick. Gayass"

Diablo 2 Gamers spasms violently on the floor, blood pouring out of his eyes, then dies from a seizure.
by Chang Tan March 13, 2005
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DirectX

Also known as Direct X, Microsoft's universal windows graphic, audio, gaming perphiperial communications interface. It is known for its declining stability after more games are installed, since many game developers expect that their product is the only thing you'll have on your computer, and thus, would make changes in your system settings to "optimize" gameplay performance.
I have installed a MUD Client, Need for Speed III, Starcraft, CounterStrike, Tibia, TerraWorld, and two different console emulators, but after installing the beta client of Guild Wars, while loading the game, it crashes back to desktop with a illegal operation error in "ddhelp".
by Chang Tan October 29, 2004
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bouncer

The big fat guy standing in front of the doorway of stripclubs and keeps everyone out if they are not on the "list". This "list" is basically what the bouncer assumes who you are, if your a hobo, hes not letting you in. He doesn't want any trouble, but if you hit him, he has every right to pummel you to mush.

They also guard doorways to celebrity parties. In those rich guy parties, bouncers are controlled by a wienie-boy butler who talks in a squeaky voice, but commands all the power as long as the big guys are getting paid. These types of rich guy bouncers are less round and more built, and can easily throw you out of a bulletproof window, but can't overturn cars.
The bouncer's weight makes it a danger itself, and he isn't watching where hes stepping either.
by Chang Tan January 02, 2004
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chemistry

A High School subject that doesn't have to be so damn necessarily hard to understand. If the book authors learned how to write in lamence terms for us non-scientists, maybe we should be able to cover the whole 30 chapter book in a hour. But noooo... those geeks really had to make it difficult. Actually, they add nothing but demonstrations and no official formulas, and they use big words to explain something as simple as a damn "mole" measurement. Therefore we have to take pen and paper and make our own damn formulas, no thanks to that $50.00 piece of crap.
I read chapter 1 to chapter 10, 75% of it consists of irrelevant situations of how to use what we are learning, in ways we never even thought it could be useless enough. 10% of it is actual examples where you must stare with a blank face and make up your own formulas, 15% is review work which you don't know how to do.
by Chang Tan February 14, 2004
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banana

Asian guy who hates his own race, his family, his culture, and especially himself.

He yearns for surgical treatments to change his eyelid shape, and uses dyes to change his skin and hair coloration. Blue eyed pupils and natural blond hair are widely desired, but futile in effort (Dr Mengele experimented with changing pupil coloration by injecting ink with fatal results).

His greatest dream is complete genetic modifcation, cleansing himself of his hereditary curse so that he may produce more children embracing wonderous western customs.

Note that the banana (preferred over the less macho Twinkie), would never touch or own anything Asian. For it he had control of his well-earned money (his family would often shake every cent out of him before he can spend it), he would buy domestic products: American made Hummer H1, Ford/Dodge/Chevy trucks (preferably Cummins/Duramax Diesel engine), and order rectangular pizza over the phone, with the sauces and toppings arranged in a way that it resembles the American flag.
Chang Tan - Western enthusiast, and a figure of anti-Asian traditions.
by Chang Tan July 28, 2005
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tibia

A frustrating game that has made great advancements in graphics and GUI and control quality. Now avatars actually walk around instead of warping. However, the gameplay and newbie-friendlyness is at a all-time low.

Idiotic down-syndrome patients usually talk to shopkeepers, unable to say "bye" when they are idling, they idle in front of pathways to stores and bridges, causing much abuse in newbie island by laming everything with kill/corpse stealing. I never actually got to the mainland because of this. Nor do I want to, since the people populating Tibia's forums talk like illiterate "l33t" wannabes, just because they probably managed to install Linux. Who fucking cares, linux is free, which further makes it easier to install, and now they boast this shit on free-game forums.
Tibia player (rookguard):N00B! N00b! N00b! You suxx0rs! LOL!

Tibia abuser (rookguard:town): (to shopkeeper) Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi ! Why isnt he answering me! Hi Hi Hi Hi Hi !

Tibia forummember: You didn't get to mainland yet? Go buy a premium account and get there in 2 hours n00b! Hey look! This n00b wasn't smart enough to buy a premium account so he can play in mainland! N00bs! He suxx0rs to the maxx0rs! W00t! I'm fuggin l33t!

Tibia forummember # 2: Hey lets get him banned if he doesn't like our game!

Tibia forum member: yeah!
by Chang Tan December 30, 2003
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teletubbies

Baby gorillas, whom, because of their small and morbidly obese build, became perfect subjects for a top secret experiment dubbed, "teletubbies".

Kidnapped from their native habitat, they were strapped down hooting and screaming onto operation tables. Their stomachs were removed and replaced with a crude malfunctioning television set, which recieved its signals from a implanted attenna on the top of its head. Because the attenna's reciever must be outside of the body, a hole is drilled through the baby gorilla's brain, making a pathway to stick the electrical equipment through. Unfortunately, this only resulted in having the entire cast of teletubbies having the combined intelligence of tupperware.

To feed the disillusioned apes, a special diet consisting of purified ethanol (tubby toast), and lead paint oatmeal (tubby custard) to keep the seditious thoughts of the infants surpressed. A fake sun watches over them with a ensuringly peaceful baby's face on it to keep the tubbies close to their safety dome. When a tubby escapes, the sun makes a blood-curdling cry, calling upon the dome janitor, a robot vacuum cleaner named "snoo snoo" to hunt down and kill the escapee by devouring it with it's mighty vacuum, grinding the hapless tubby and using it's remains as fertilizer for the vast lush gardens surrounding the dome.

Occasionally when the time is just right, the tubbies may be able to recieve radio waves with their broken attennas, allowing them to eavesdrop on their human overseers, yet baffled by the simplest tasks we can do, such as showering or cooking an egg.
"Once upon a time in teletubby land, teletubbies... come to play!"
by Chang Tan September 01, 2004
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