39 definitions by Chang Tan

chemistry

A High School subject that doesn't have to be so damn necessarily hard to understand. If the book authors learned how to write in lamence terms for us non-scientists, maybe we should be able to cover the whole 30 chapter book in a hour. But noooo... those geeks really had to make it difficult. Actually, they add nothing but demonstrations and no official formulas, and they use big words to explain something as simple as a damn "mole" measurement. Therefore we have to take pen and paper and make our own damn formulas, no thanks to that $50.00 piece of crap.
I read chapter 1 to chapter 10, 75% of it consists of irrelevant situations of how to use what we are learning, in ways we never even thought it could be useless enough. 10% of it is actual examples where you must stare with a blank face and make up your own formulas, 15% is review work which you don't know how to do.
by Chang Tan February 14, 2004
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candy corn

Supposeably a "candy". Its colored in patterns of white, orange, and black, and it looks identical to those door-stopping wedges. Although the candy has been served for.... fuck, I don't know, decades? Still its also known as one of the most horribly tasting, and ignored treats, of all time!
Even comedians said it, "Hmmm, candy corn? *eats and makes a negative facial emotion* IT TASTES LIKE CRAP! *crowd bursts into laughter, clap clap clap*"

And this isn't some young upstart, this is a old guy, which further proves that candy corn is a salty-fatty tasting orange enigma that lived for decades.
by Chang Tan November 1, 2003
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asl

Age/Sex/Location, first question you will EVER see when you enter a chatroom. Used by everyone who needs some "cybering"
Pedophiles use a/s/l to lure children, offer them candy, rape, and then kill them.
by Chang Tan October 27, 2003
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megatokyo

The "I wish I was Japense fanclub". It features several main characters:

Piro - The webmaster, artist, and main character of the comic. He is portrayed as a innocent pansy nerd, with a kink for Japanese girls and a obsessive sock fetish. Thankfully, his wussiness has restrained him from several potential scenes of rape throughout the comic, thus keeping the material clean for all readers.

Largo - Stereotypical gamer and avid comptuer overclocker, babbles in nonsensical "l33tsp33k", and due to his constant binging, has incredible resistance to physical punishment, which aids him well in his quest to purge all of Japan of "zombies", possibly a fabrication of his manic America Versus Japan culture clashing.

"The Queen" - Archnemesis of Largo, she posesses formidable skills in gaming, rivaling the disillusioned yankee himself. Intrigued by Largo's stubborness to cling onto his assinine beliefs, much of her story involves a complex silent-romance between her and the unwary Largo.

Hayasaka-San - One of the first friends Piro makes in Japan, she works in a game shop downtown. She keeps to herself about her personal life, and fends off sexual predators with voracious ferocity.

Generic Schoolwhore - A teenager of 16, she too has a crush with Piro, and with the pressure of her two bimbo peers, is forced into a shakey relationship with the reclusive twigboy.
Piro - "Oh my god, I'm so stupid! I should have got her drunk and pinned her down to the floor at the bar and had my way with her. But nooo... I wussed out. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! Time to drown my sorrows with another drawing of sad girls in snow..."

Largo - "OMGz! U teh fag0rt! I teh l33t mast0rz! Git off me l33t n3tw0rk n0de u teh n00b!"

"The Queen" - "Dark, blackness, consuming me, tearing me up from the inside, can't endure for much longer.... tendrils fingering my asshole.... my sanity is about to crack.... death, darkness, destruction...."

Hayasaka-San - "Get any closer to me and i'll break your other arm!"

Generic Schoolwhore - "Kawaii! Oh my god, your so cute! Cutey Cutey Cutey ^-^! Hey handsome, how about a appointment in my apartment at 1908 Hawasaka Avenue, i'll be dressing in that outfit you like.... meet me at 9:00 sharp, and dress SEXY!"
by Chang Tan February 26, 2005
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ribwich

A limited time offer from KrustyBurger, a overprocessed BBQ-rib sandwich. Due to the sauce's addictive nature (it was known for causing death from hypertension with a single bite), it led to the extinction of the source where the meat originated from, the whale.

The last known box of ribwich was sold to a French man who traded his Ferrari GTX-350 for it.
The Simpson's KrustyBurger Ribwich Limited Time Offer commercial:

"Like a rib, it tastes like liberty,
Like a rib, with a barn of sesame"

A steel mill worker strains as he pulls a metal lever

"We start with authentic letter graded meat, and process the hell out of it, until it's good enough for Krusty!"

2 mill workers heave a mature cattle and hurl it into the furnance. Animal-like screaming can be heard in the chamber as the hapless bovine is toasted to ashes. Molten ingot containing the burnt cow flows down the pipe and into a mold. Krusty the clown puts the contanminated metal into a sandwich bun and bites...

"Try my new Krusty Ribwich.. mmmmm! I don't mind the taste!"
by Chang Tan October 2, 2004
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Atkins diet

A marketing pitch used by Subway (like that 6g fat crap) and McDonalds to scam millions of judgement-lacking idiots into think a lard-packed, cheese stuffed, burrito or Subway Sandwich, with loads of mayonaise and unsalted butter topping it off will make them lose weight.
"Tonight, why not try our all new Atkins-approved supersized beef taco! With all of your favorite ingredients, barbeque sauces, mayonaise, excess poorly drained bacon, melted fatty-cheese residue from the dairy factory, and topped off with solid chunks of lard for that mmm mmm flavor!"
by Chang Tan June 18, 2004
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teletubbies

Baby gorillas, whom, because of their small and morbidly obese build, became perfect subjects for a top secret experiment dubbed, "teletubbies".

Kidnapped from their native habitat, they were strapped down hooting and screaming onto operation tables. Their stomachs were removed and replaced with a crude malfunctioning television set, which recieved its signals from a implanted attenna on the top of its head. Because the attenna's reciever must be outside of the body, a hole is drilled through the baby gorilla's brain, making a pathway to stick the electrical equipment through. Unfortunately, this only resulted in having the entire cast of teletubbies having the combined intelligence of tupperware.

To feed the disillusioned apes, a special diet consisting of purified ethanol (tubby toast), and lead paint oatmeal (tubby custard) to keep the seditious thoughts of the infants surpressed. A fake sun watches over them with a ensuringly peaceful baby's face on it to keep the tubbies close to their safety dome. When a tubby escapes, the sun makes a blood-curdling cry, calling upon the dome janitor, a robot vacuum cleaner named "snoo snoo" to hunt down and kill the escapee by devouring it with it's mighty vacuum, grinding the hapless tubby and using it's remains as fertilizer for the vast lush gardens surrounding the dome.

Occasionally when the time is just right, the tubbies may be able to recieve radio waves with their broken attennas, allowing them to eavesdrop on their human overseers, yet baffled by the simplest tasks we can do, such as showering or cooking an egg.
"Once upon a time in teletubby land, teletubbies... come to play!"
by Chang Tan September 2, 2004
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