Bruce's definitions
Lu Bu (Fengxian)
Born 156 AD - Died 199 AD
43 Years
Place of birth - Jiuyuan, Wuyuan County
Lu Bu was a master of horse riding, archery and armed combat. He was tall and immensely strong for this, he was nicknamed 'The Flying General'. He had a horse called Red Hare, capable of 1000 miles a day. It was often said, "Among men, Lu Bu. Among horses, Red Hare."
He started his career as a Chief Secretary for Ding Yuan who treated him as his own son. However, when Dong Zhuo began to lay many splendid gifts at Lu Bu's feet, Lu Bu was talked into killing Ding Yuan.
Lu Bu was appointed Cavalry Commander and Imperial Corps Commander. Dong Zhuo adopted Lu Bu as his son and Lu Bu adopted Dong Zhuo as his father. From that moment on, Lu Bu became Dong Zhuo's closest bodyguard.
When the Allies took Si Shui Gate and faced Hu Lao Gate, Lu Bu was put in charge of holding the gate. The Allies faltered in the face of such unstoppable might, Gongsun Zan was about to be slain when a warrior charged out to save him.
It was none other than Zhang Fei in a drunken stupour, he fought with Lu Bu but neither gained the advantage.
Guan Yu joined his brother, but still Lu Bu showed no signs of fatigue.
Finally, Liu Bei joined the fray and Lu Bu was forced to retreat. The Allies took Hu Lao Gate and Lu Bu and Dong Zhuo burned the capital and ordered a mass exodus from Luo Yang to Chang An.
Wang Yun, a minister in the capital devised a plan to have Lu Bu kill Dong Zhuo, for this, he took a young dancer girl named Diao Chan and offered her to both of them. Lu Bu became enraged when he learned that Diao Chan had became Dong Zhuo's consort and swore to avenge her, he murdered Dong Zhuo as he stepped out his carriage one night.
When he was attacked by former officers of Dong Zhuo he retreated and sought refuge with Yuan Shao. Lu Bu entered the Yan Province where he fought with Cao Cao, but he lost this and fled to the Xu Province where Liu Bei was acting Prefect for Tao Qian.
Lu Bu called Liu Bei his little brother and settled in Xu. But the peace did not last for long.
Yuan Shu's General, Zhi Ling arrived in Xu with an army of ten legions, but Lu Bu sick of Zhang Fei and Zhi Ling's bickering took his Halberd and placed it in the ground. He then walked back 150 paces and announced if he hit the centre branch of the halberd head, there would be no fighting and if he missed, they could fight.
Lu Bu fired his arrow and it hit the exact mark he had indicated.
Lu Bu turned to Cao Cao and served under him briefly before betraying him and allying himself with Yuan Shu.
Lu Bu then took over Xia Pi and tried to align himself with Yuan Shu. Liu Bei was forced to turn to Cao Cao for help.
Cao Cao regarded Liu Bei highly and suggested a joint attack on Lu Bu. However, Lu Bu himself discovered the plot and attacked Liu Bei at Xiao Pei. Xiahou Dun was sent by Cao Cao, but withdrew when an arrow pierced his eye.
Liu Bei and Cao Cao then besieged Lu Bu at Xia Pi Castle and flooded the castle interior.
Having no solution to the problem at hand, Lu Bu's behaviour became erratic. He turned to drinking, then swore off alcohol altogether. Lu Bu then punished anyone who drank severely.
He was eventually betrayed whilst he slept and captured. His prized sted Red Hare given to Cao Cao as a peace offering, and his halberd thrown out the window.
As he sat in defeat, face to face with Cao Cao, he offered his services to him. But was rejected as Liu Bei reminded Cao Cao what Lu Bu had done to Ding Yuan and Dong Zhuo.
Lu Bu immediately barked threats at Liu Bei, those were to be the last words he would ever speak, and he was beheaded at White Tower Gate.
Born 156 AD - Died 199 AD
43 Years
Place of birth - Jiuyuan, Wuyuan County
Lu Bu was a master of horse riding, archery and armed combat. He was tall and immensely strong for this, he was nicknamed 'The Flying General'. He had a horse called Red Hare, capable of 1000 miles a day. It was often said, "Among men, Lu Bu. Among horses, Red Hare."
He started his career as a Chief Secretary for Ding Yuan who treated him as his own son. However, when Dong Zhuo began to lay many splendid gifts at Lu Bu's feet, Lu Bu was talked into killing Ding Yuan.
Lu Bu was appointed Cavalry Commander and Imperial Corps Commander. Dong Zhuo adopted Lu Bu as his son and Lu Bu adopted Dong Zhuo as his father. From that moment on, Lu Bu became Dong Zhuo's closest bodyguard.
When the Allies took Si Shui Gate and faced Hu Lao Gate, Lu Bu was put in charge of holding the gate. The Allies faltered in the face of such unstoppable might, Gongsun Zan was about to be slain when a warrior charged out to save him.
It was none other than Zhang Fei in a drunken stupour, he fought with Lu Bu but neither gained the advantage.
Guan Yu joined his brother, but still Lu Bu showed no signs of fatigue.
Finally, Liu Bei joined the fray and Lu Bu was forced to retreat. The Allies took Hu Lao Gate and Lu Bu and Dong Zhuo burned the capital and ordered a mass exodus from Luo Yang to Chang An.
Wang Yun, a minister in the capital devised a plan to have Lu Bu kill Dong Zhuo, for this, he took a young dancer girl named Diao Chan and offered her to both of them. Lu Bu became enraged when he learned that Diao Chan had became Dong Zhuo's consort and swore to avenge her, he murdered Dong Zhuo as he stepped out his carriage one night.
When he was attacked by former officers of Dong Zhuo he retreated and sought refuge with Yuan Shao. Lu Bu entered the Yan Province where he fought with Cao Cao, but he lost this and fled to the Xu Province where Liu Bei was acting Prefect for Tao Qian.
Lu Bu called Liu Bei his little brother and settled in Xu. But the peace did not last for long.
Yuan Shu's General, Zhi Ling arrived in Xu with an army of ten legions, but Lu Bu sick of Zhang Fei and Zhi Ling's bickering took his Halberd and placed it in the ground. He then walked back 150 paces and announced if he hit the centre branch of the halberd head, there would be no fighting and if he missed, they could fight.
Lu Bu fired his arrow and it hit the exact mark he had indicated.
Lu Bu turned to Cao Cao and served under him briefly before betraying him and allying himself with Yuan Shu.
Lu Bu then took over Xia Pi and tried to align himself with Yuan Shu. Liu Bei was forced to turn to Cao Cao for help.
Cao Cao regarded Liu Bei highly and suggested a joint attack on Lu Bu. However, Lu Bu himself discovered the plot and attacked Liu Bei at Xiao Pei. Xiahou Dun was sent by Cao Cao, but withdrew when an arrow pierced his eye.
Liu Bei and Cao Cao then besieged Lu Bu at Xia Pi Castle and flooded the castle interior.
Having no solution to the problem at hand, Lu Bu's behaviour became erratic. He turned to drinking, then swore off alcohol altogether. Lu Bu then punished anyone who drank severely.
He was eventually betrayed whilst he slept and captured. His prized sted Red Hare given to Cao Cao as a peace offering, and his halberd thrown out the window.
As he sat in defeat, face to face with Cao Cao, he offered his services to him. But was rejected as Liu Bei reminded Cao Cao what Lu Bu had done to Ding Yuan and Dong Zhuo.
Lu Bu immediately barked threats at Liu Bei, those were to be the last words he would ever speak, and he was beheaded at White Tower Gate.
by Bruce March 25, 2005
Get the Lu Bu mug.a single, derived from back in the day of 12 inch vinyls which typically had one song.
also 1,2 because single songs on a 12 inch vinly were easier to switch and mix on a 2-deck turnatable
nowadays it is considered normally as the first single to be released from an upcoming album and referred to as a promo track
also 1,2 because single songs on a 12 inch vinly were easier to switch and mix on a 2-deck turnatable
nowadays it is considered normally as the first single to be released from an upcoming album and referred to as a promo track
"One two, one two, one two, one two
So you wanna start up, what we gonna tear shit up?
I said let the turntables talk for me at first
And then I should finish the rest"
-X-ecutioners "Live form the pj's"
So you wanna start up, what we gonna tear shit up?
I said let the turntables talk for me at first
And then I should finish the rest"
-X-ecutioners "Live form the pj's"
by Bruce March 4, 2005
Get the 12" mug.by bruce February 24, 2005
Get the Nanticoke Pennsylvania mug.a phrase that points out to another that you have recently finger banged his or her maternal parent. Usually paired with an outstreched index finger pointed at the other person's nose. Usually delievered in a New York City accent.
by Bruce February 14, 2005
Get the smell your mother mug.Zhuge Liang (Kongming)
Born 181 AD - Died 234 AD
53 Years
Place of Birth - Yangdu, Langye
Zhuge Liang was a Taoist scholar, also known as Wo Long, or Sleeping Dragon. As a youth he lived as a hermit after escaping from his home with his brother, Zhuge Jin.
Xu Shu recommended Zhuge Liang as his successor to Liu Bei when he was ensnared in a plot by Cao Cao. Liu Bei paid three visits to the hermit, and finally on the third visit, Zhuge Liang consented to be his strategist, as he was impressed by Liu Bei's sincerity, virtue and morality.
Zhuge Liang personally travelled to Wu to make an alliance against Cao Cao. The battle of Chi Bi took place, Zhuge Liang made the southern wind blow, and Cao Cao fled defeated in the wake of the fire attack.
During this period, Zhuge Liang advised Liu Bei to conquer as much of the Southlands as possible so the Three Kingdoms Strategy could be used. Liu Bei's forces took Cheng Du, and established the Shu Kingdom. Shu, Wu and Wei now struggled to unify China.
Liu Bei became King of Hanzhong and then Emperor of Shu, yet when his sworn brother Guan Yu was executed by Wu, and his other sworn brother assassinated as he slept, he swore revenge.
With both wings torn, he invaded Wu, but was defeated by the talented young strategist Lu Xun and the much smaller Wu force. Liu Bei passed away, and Liu Chan succeeded him, before hand, Liu Bei entrusted Zhuge Liang with Shu if his son was unfit to rule.
Zhuge Liang led a campaign against the Nanman tribes in the south, and crushed them. He then went to invade Wei, but due to internal corruption in the Shu Court and also due to the brilliant planning of the Wei strategist Sima Yi, he embarked on no less than 5 campaigns.
In the year 234 AD, Zhuge Liang passed away on Wu Zhang Plains, after his attempt to recover more time was denied as Wei Yan knocked over the candles that were required to stay lit. He banned all mourning so as to decieve the enemy, when they did invade, a wooden statue was dressed as Zhuge Liang and put in a chariot. Sima Yi fled at the site of it, and so it is said in Chinese lore, "A dead Zhuge Liang can outwit a live Sima Yi." When Sima Yi observed the Shu camp and lines, he remarked that Zhuge Liang was indeed the cleverest man under heaven.
Born 181 AD - Died 234 AD
53 Years
Place of Birth - Yangdu, Langye
Zhuge Liang was a Taoist scholar, also known as Wo Long, or Sleeping Dragon. As a youth he lived as a hermit after escaping from his home with his brother, Zhuge Jin.
Xu Shu recommended Zhuge Liang as his successor to Liu Bei when he was ensnared in a plot by Cao Cao. Liu Bei paid three visits to the hermit, and finally on the third visit, Zhuge Liang consented to be his strategist, as he was impressed by Liu Bei's sincerity, virtue and morality.
Zhuge Liang personally travelled to Wu to make an alliance against Cao Cao. The battle of Chi Bi took place, Zhuge Liang made the southern wind blow, and Cao Cao fled defeated in the wake of the fire attack.
During this period, Zhuge Liang advised Liu Bei to conquer as much of the Southlands as possible so the Three Kingdoms Strategy could be used. Liu Bei's forces took Cheng Du, and established the Shu Kingdom. Shu, Wu and Wei now struggled to unify China.
Liu Bei became King of Hanzhong and then Emperor of Shu, yet when his sworn brother Guan Yu was executed by Wu, and his other sworn brother assassinated as he slept, he swore revenge.
With both wings torn, he invaded Wu, but was defeated by the talented young strategist Lu Xun and the much smaller Wu force. Liu Bei passed away, and Liu Chan succeeded him, before hand, Liu Bei entrusted Zhuge Liang with Shu if his son was unfit to rule.
Zhuge Liang led a campaign against the Nanman tribes in the south, and crushed them. He then went to invade Wei, but due to internal corruption in the Shu Court and also due to the brilliant planning of the Wei strategist Sima Yi, he embarked on no less than 5 campaigns.
In the year 234 AD, Zhuge Liang passed away on Wu Zhang Plains, after his attempt to recover more time was denied as Wei Yan knocked over the candles that were required to stay lit. He banned all mourning so as to decieve the enemy, when they did invade, a wooden statue was dressed as Zhuge Liang and put in a chariot. Sima Yi fled at the site of it, and so it is said in Chinese lore, "A dead Zhuge Liang can outwit a live Sima Yi." When Sima Yi observed the Shu camp and lines, he remarked that Zhuge Liang was indeed the cleverest man under heaven.
For more in depth information, check out www.kongming.net
Parts of this definiton taken from that site.
Parts of this definiton taken from that site.
by Bruce February 4, 2005
Get the Zhuge Liang mug.A Fife term, originally describing the practice of opening a soft roll, this has been corrupted to describe the sexual act of stuffing a flaccid penis up one’s fanny.
Generally only practiced by Fife Sengas in a desperate attempt to get some sexual pleasure from the ned they picked up only hours before.
Generally only practiced by Fife Sengas in a desperate attempt to get some sexual pleasure from the ned they picked up only hours before.
by Bruce February 1, 2005
Get the Thumbing A Saftey mug.Little girl who played Carol Anne in the Poltergeist trilogy. Died at the age of 12 from a misdiagnosed birth defect that affected her intestines.
RIP angel :)
RIP angel :)
by bruce January 25, 2005
Get the heather o'rourke mug.