Definitions by Big Ed Moustapha
Bronx blowjob
A Bronx blowjob is when the receiver of the blowjob farts and the giver goes away pissed as hell. If the giver continues anyway, she's considered to be a 'keeper'.
My girl friend was giving me head for fixing her car. I rewarded her with a Bronx blowjob and she proceeded to tell me what I'd had for breakfast. She keeps mentioning marriage, but I know that if we tied the knot, the blowjobs would stop.
Bronx blowjob by Big Ed Moustapha October 10, 2010
reach out
This has become the new cliché for yuppie types or any pseudo-intellectual types or just idiots that think it sounds special. It is simply just another way of saying: contact, call, speak to, notify, etc. It really sounds faggy and flags the speaker as being self conscious about how they sound to their peers. You also have to wonder who they think they're impressing when they speak like they have an Emily Post book on etiquette shoved up their ass.
Bruce: I'm going to 'reach out' to Bill today.
Tom: Hey Bruce, why do you always insist on talking like a fag?! That little homily won't hide the fact that your a douche-bag.
Tom: Hey Bruce, why do you always insist on talking like a fag?! That little homily won't hide the fact that your a douche-bag.
reach out by Big Ed Moustapha August 24, 2010
Piss Poor Shot
This definition refers to a guy's inability to aim his cock when he's taking a piss. This lack of skill is quite apparent when the perp is done and there are yellow pee stains on the toilet rim and floor. Some douche bags don't even bother to lift the toilet seat and piss all over it as well. Ya gotta wonder when you see pools of pee on the floor in front of a urinal only a few inches from a dude's dick how he can manage to fuck that process up. Perhaps some day somebody will patent crosshairs for dicks so a sporting guy can practice his marksmanship.
Piss Poor Shot by Big Ed Moustapha August 14, 2010
cheese whiz
A cheese whiz is the process of farting when you pee. Generally due to the natural relaxing of muscle tissue in both the rectal region as well as the anal region during urination.
Also spelled as: cheese wiz
Also spelled as: cheese wiz
Generally when I pee, it's a cheese whiz. I am frequently complemented as being on key as a tenor when this occurs around others. I can produce 1 pint and 2 bars at D Minor seventh simultaneously.
cheese whiz by Big Ed Moustapha August 14, 2010
Turd Monger
A Turd Monger is somebody that produces particularly strong, foul smelling bowel movements. This individual can be an extreme source of frustration to others that happen to walk into a restroom recently utilized by this culprit or happen to share occupancy in a restroom when this offender decides to unload. It can be even more frustrating if you walk into a polluted restroom unknowingly after the perpetrating Turd Monger used it, do an immediate about face and pass someone else on the way in. They immediately assume you're the pollutant and give you the look of death.
Holly shit, I was about to hit the head when I saw that Turd Monger Jimmy Brown walking out. The last time I was nailed by the fumes of his posterior emissions my eyes burned for hours. Christ, at my worst, I can't come close to what comes out of his crack. I'm surprised the smoke detectors didn't go off. No wonder the fucking ozone is disappearing!
Turd Monger by Big Ed Moustapha July 22, 2010
Big Ed Moustapha
Big Ed Moustapha is the benchmark for greatness. See story:
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.
Poody R. Glucks thought his ship had finally come in. He’d been chosen as a contestant on Let’s Make A Deal and was also fortunate enough to be selected as the finalist to select winnings from behind one of three curtains. His choice was curtain number two. To his delight, winnings behind curtain number one turned out to be a set of used tires and an empty beer bottle. The audience gasped as the contents of curtain number two were revealed. Poody couldn’t believe his luck! His prizes included 100 billion dollars cash, a 200 ft. yacht anchored off the French Riviera behind his new 20 million dollar villa. Not to be ignored were a new 2009 Ferrari F70, 3 mansions in Beverly Hills, New Hampton, and West Palm Beach, his own personal Leer Jet, free passes to the finest restaurants in the world, free lifetime wardrobes from the finest tailor’s money can buy, to name but few of his new possessions, all tax free. Poody’s greatest feelings of elation were about to change drastically however with the unveiling of the prize behind curtain number three.
For waiting behind door number three was probably the greatest gift ever available to mankind. That prize, was being granted the privilege of being allowed to smell the butt of The Big Ed Moustapha for an entire two minutes!!! You could hear the audience moan for miles! Poody’s heart sank. His feelings of sorrow and despair soon changed to anger and desperation. Eventually Poody had to be restrained and was forcibly removed from the studio. As he was being carried out, Poody was heard to be crying out: ‘I meant to say door number three!!’ ‘I meant to say door number three!!’.
Big Ed Moustapha by Big Ed Moustapha April 19, 2010
Oprah Head
If you believe that the definition for Oprah head refers to a woman that's been brainwashed by that fat, black, man-hating bitch Oprah Winfrey, you'd be correct, at least partially. There are millions of weak-minded, vulnerable, self-serving bimbo's that actually listen to this purveyor of bullshit and then blame their man that it's all his fault they're not happy.
However this term has a second definition. An Oprah Head is a woman that has a fat round head, has no neck and usually has a rotund body. They look like a snowman. No matter what hairdo they wear, how much weight they try to loose and cloths they try to wear, they can't compensate for that 'bowling ball' head.
However this term has a second definition. An Oprah Head is a woman that has a fat round head, has no neck and usually has a rotund body. They look like a snowman. No matter what hairdo they wear, how much weight they try to loose and cloths they try to wear, they can't compensate for that 'bowling ball' head.
Here comes Tawana. Boy, she is a plump little Oprah Head. She looks like 3 little boulders stacked up. That tent type dress doesn't hide a damn thing. What would you call three Oprah Heads coming down a hill? An Avalanche.
Oprah Head by Big Ed Moustapha April 9, 2010